Word-Of-the-Week #1061: Respond
December 5, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1061: Respond
Respond – show a response or a reaction to something.
Do you know anyone who has strong opinions that asks for your advice? Does that make you feel like you’re being trapped?
This week features another great article from Sarita’s What do you say Communique‘ monthly e-newsletter, titled “ How to Respond When Someone Asks Your Opinion and You Have Nothing Nice to Say.”
Have you ever been cornered by a colleague and asked a potentially incriminating question: “What do you think about the new boss?” or “What do you think about the co-worker’s new hair cut?” or “What do you think about the CEO’s new (controversial) policy?”
The list of potential gossip-inducing questions is endless. However, the outcome is always the same: Anything you say can and will be used against you!
In order not to get pulled into the he-said-she-said fray, here are THREE OPTIONS for responding when you have nothing nice to say:
- Non-response
In this instance, you choose not to take the bait. You can make non-committal responses such as:
“I’ve been too busy to even think about it.”
“I haven’t even given him much thought.”
“I’m not even going to go there!”
- Throw it Back
Typically, when someone asks “what do YOU think?,” he or she has a strong opinion on the subject. You can capitalize on that, and avoid their trap by responding:
“Sounds like you have some thoughts. What do YOU think?”
Or, combine option # 1 and #2 by saying:
“I haven’t given it much thought. What’s YOUR opinion?”
- Focus on the positive
You can stay out of trouble by focusing on the positive aspect of something. A long list of negative things about a person or situation may come to mind, however there’s always at least a positive thing or two. For example, if someone asks your opinion on the new boss, you can identify a couple strengths you’ve noticed:
“I have to admit, he really is organized and good at goal setting.”
By the way, these strategies can be useful outside of the workplace too. When my daughter was a teenager, I asked her opinion on a new outfit I was wearing. Her tastes and mine differed greatly, especially at that time, so that could have been a losing proposition. She promptly responded using the throw-it-back option:
“Mom, the important thing is what do YOU think of your new outfit?!”
Lastly, I should point out that there are times when friends and colleagues legitimately ask for and want our feedback. The important thing here is to be as honest as possible without being harsh. In these cases, we can use a version of Option #3 by focusing on the positive.
Here are some examples of how you can focus on the positive by offering constructive suggestions:
“What did you think of my presentation?”
You’re thinking: “It was monotone & boring.”
Instead say: “I think that adding a little more inflection in your voice and a couple personal stories would be great!”
“What do you think of my idea?
You’re thinking: “Dumbest idea I’ve ever heard!”
Instead say: “I’m concerned that the strategy may not succeed because of our limited budget. How can you overcome that?”
So, there you have it…three ways to share your not-so-nice opinion in a constructive way!
This week’s focus is on how to respond. Have you ever chosen to be non-committal? Or thrown the question back at them? How easy is it for you to be honest without being harsh and say something positive?
Sarita’s book, “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? is available on Amazon.com.
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.
Word-Of-the-Week #1060: Thankful
November 28, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1060: Thankful
Thankful – appreciative and grateful.
Are you appreciative and grateful for all that you have? Do you acknowledge and thank people when they do something that is of benefit or favorable to you? When you do something kind or giving to someone, do they thank you? How does it make you feel?
This week I am taking the liberty (and the day off) to re-run a past WOW. Today we celebrate Thanksgiving and I am so grateful for all that I have in my life. I am thankful to be able to travel and experience different cultures. Now that I don’t have to go school, I love learning all the history and the geography. I really enjoy meeting new people and eating good food!
And I am really thankful to be home! We live in a great country with an abundance of everything. (And great paved roads) I have wonderful friends and family and the love of my life! I don’t think it can get any better than that!
And being thankful has its health benefits. Researchers at the University of California-Davis, Cornell and the University of Michigan found that people “who have a plethora of events for which they feel grateful bounce back more quickly from trauma, can undo the negative effects of stress and have lower blood pressure.”
A USA Today article said to, “Notice small things. Experts almost universally agree that some of the most significant blessings are also the most seemingly insignificant acts. Take note of a nice day, a spectacular sunset, a moonlit night.”
This week focus on giving thanks. You can never do it too much. What are you grateful for in your personal and professional life? When was the last time you told your customers, guests, clients, members, friends and family how grateful you are to have them in your life?
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.
Word-Of-the-Week #1059: Distraction
November 21, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1059: Distraction
Distraction – something that makes it difficult to pay attention.
How good are you at staying focused when you’re working on multiple projects? Do you tend to want to complete them all at the same time?
This week’s WOW “The Myth of Multi-Tasking” comes from longtime friend Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor.
“In case you wonder why your young workers have such a hard time paying attention or staying focused, I offer this insight from Roy H. Williams:
Joe Kraus was co-founder of excite.com in 1993. Today he’s a partner at Google Ventures, an angel investor at LinkedIn and on the board of the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
Kraus says we live in a culture of distraction. Prior to the availability of smartphones, we accessed the internet an average of 5 times a day. Now the average is 27 times a day. Kraus is worried about this:
“The effect of all of this [connectivity] is that we’re increasingly distracted. The funny part about distraction is that it’s a worsening condition. The more distracted we are, the more distractible we become.”
“Some people call switching our attention from one thing to another ‘multi-tasking’ like we’re a computer with dual cores running two simultaneous processes. Except we’re not.
Numerous brain studies have shown that what we call ‘multi-tasking’ in humans is not multi-tasking at all. Your brain is merely switching its attention back and forth between two tasks.”
“Those studies have shown that we’re dumber when we do this, an average of 10 IQ points dumber. That’s twice as much as smoking a joint dumber. And we’re also 40% less efficient at whatever it is we’re doing.”
“But my favorite part about multi-tasking is that the more you do it, the worse you are at it. It’s one of the only things where the more you practice it, the worse you get at it.”
“When you practice distraction, which is what multi-tasking really is, you’re training your brain to pay attention to distracting things. The more you train your brain to pay attention to distractions, the more you get distracted and the less able you are to focus even for brief periods of time on the two or three things you were trying to get done in your ‘multi-tasking’ in the first place.
How’s that for self-defeating?”
This week’s focus is on distractions. How often do you find yourself unable to pay attention? Would you like to make more efficient use of your time? How would it feel to focus on one project at a time?
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.
Word-Of-the-Week #1058: Please
November 14, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1058: Please
Please – be agreeable to.
Do you feel a need to be a people-pleaser? Is it important for you fit in and be included in everything?
Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought provoking piece.
Great Question: Please?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1057: Enjoyment
November 7, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1057: Enjoyment
Enjoyment – the pleasure felt when having a good time.
How much enjoyment are you experiencing in your life? Do you have a good time at work? How about at home? Are you able to find enjoyment in the simple pleasures of life?
I was featured in Sarita’s What do you say Communique‘ monthly e-newsletter. She titled it, “Are You Having FUN Yet?” Since this week I am having FUN in Loreto with my best friend Gloria, it seemed only fitting to share it again. 😊
Sarita wrote, “We sometimes spend lots of energy trying to fix or change negative situations that are really beyond our control. (ie–corporate decisions, the economy)
Instead, it would be a better use of our time to find ways to counteract the negativity by focusing on creating more of ‘what provides amusement or enjoyment’ (Webster Dictionary definition of FUN).
My colleague Susan Clarke, CFO (Chief FUN Officer) of FUN-damentals.com says it best: “Fun is riding the teeter totter on the playground of life. There will always be ups and downs. Hold on and enjoy the ride!”
Sarita’s 12 Tips for “Enjoying the Ride.”
- Make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil all the fun in your future.
- Don’t try to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
- Each day do something nice for someone.
- Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what they’ve been through.
- Develop a network of friends to support you in “enjoying the ride.”
- Don’t take yourself so seriously…keep a sense of humor.
- Use your “resiliency resources.” i.e. – spend time doing your favorite activities.
- Smile. Laugh. Play.
- Create a list of FUN things to do, then start doing them.
- Don’t take things personally. It’s usually NOT about you.
- Ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
- Remember…no one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Copyright 2024 Sarita Maybin. All rights reserved.
This week’s focus is on enjoyment. Are you “enjoying the ride?” What pleasures do you relish? Which of the 12 tips could you start doing to ensure a FUN ride?
Sarita’s book, “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? is available on Amazon.com.
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.