Word-Of-the-Week #2027: Manners
April 16, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2027: Manners
Manners – the socially acceptable way of behaving.
How often do you say “Please” and “Thank You?” Or say “Excuse Me?” Do you have a healthy respect for your elders?
This week features the first half of, “11 Basic Manners That For Some Reason People Today Didn’t Learn Or Don’t Care About” Zayda Slabbekoorn at YourTango.com
In our often status-driven, convenience-oriented, selfish modern society, many people are noticing a lack of basic manners that for some reason people today didn’t learn or don’t care about. And it reveals quite a lot about not only their upbringing, but who they are as a person.
- Respecting your elders
In theory, respecting your elders and people with life experiences that you lack is a great idea. However, many younger people today are breaking down this norm in practice. Respect is a two-way street, and young people being intentional about mental health and boundaries push back against the idea that they should have to tolerate misbehavior and offer respect to someone who mistreats them.
We could all use a little more grace and love in all of our interactions, and while that doesn’t mean tolerating someone toxic, it could mean being willing to offer respect and create space in your best interest.
- Saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’
While it seems like the most basic, easy piece of etiquette for older generations to follow, a study from Social Psychology Quarterly found that the number of people regularly using “please” and “thank you” in conversations is steadily decreasing. Whether it’s rising narcissism in our status-driven society or a general aura of entitlement, people don’t seem to care about this basic level of consideration for others anymore.
It’s unfortunate, especially because so many people are struggling with chronic loneliness today, that they’re missing out on chances to connect and respect people, even strangers. It’s these kinds of respectful, empathetic interactions with people that truly boost our well-being and happiness, and a lack of manners is slowly sabotaging our ability to show up in them well.
- Not using a phone during a conversation
According to a study from Scientific Reports, the mere presence of a phone during a conversation or interaction can sabotage attention and concentration between people. So, if someone’s actively using it or getting distracted by notifications and scrolling, there’s an added layer of irritation and disconnection that ruins good interactions.
It’s not only disrespectful, but it can encourage people to feel invalidated and unseen when the person they’re trying to connect with is more interested in their phone. However, in our modern culture, where so much of our lives and identities are intertwined with our cell phones, it’s not surprising that these are basic manners that for some reason people today didn’t learn or don’t care about.
- Being respectful of shared space
Social awareness is often defined by an ability to read a room and notice people’s energy, but it also encompasses a whole list of social manners, like being respectful of someone’s personal space, which is incredibly important for offering respect.
From respecting people’s physical boundaries to walking at a comfortable pace, noticing people, and even cleaning up after themselves in public spaces, for some reason, many people today are overlooking the importance of care for strangers and their neighbors.
Especially when so many public “third spaces” are becoming inaccessible for most, taking care of the ones we have left with decency and respect is essential, and yet, it’s becoming increasingly uncommon.
- Saying ‘excuse me’
Especially when many young people and children learn manners from independent practice out in the world, in addition to modeled behavior from their parents, it’s not surprising that basic things like saying “excuse me” when passing someone are slowly disappearing.
With so many kids spending most of their time behind a screen, with an overbearing parent and at home, they’re missing out on opportunities to practice social interactions and manners into adulthood. They’re used to protecting their comfort at home or having a parent lead these interactions when they are in public, but when they’re on their own, they’re subconsciously operating in a more selfish, unempathetic way.
This week’s focus is on your manners. And the Golden Rule comes to mind as I was taught at a very early age to treat people the way I wanted to be treated! How respectful are you in shared spaces? How often do you say “hello” and “goodbye” to the people you worker with? Can you have a conversation without the distraction of your cell phone?
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Word-Of-the-Week #2026: Doubts
April 9, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2026: Doubts
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #2026
Doubts – feelings of uncertainty or impossibility.
Haae you ever doubted your worthiness? Are you fearing to attempt – or to finish – something because you’re afraid your project won’t be perfect?
This week features another great WOW from Sam Horn.
ANECDOTE
“A woman reached out to me last week for advice.
With tears in her voice, she confessed she’d been working on her book for a year.
Well, working on it in name only. Mostly, what she’d been doing was doubting.
Doubting she could write something people would want to read. Doubting everything she said. Doubting her worthiness. Doubting she’d ever finish.
I told her, “Belief costs nothing. Doubts cost everything.”
Doubts never got anything done. In fact, Shakespeare said, “Our doubts are TRAITORS and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”
Are you fearing to attempt – or to finish – something because you’re afraid your project won’t be perfect?
Spoiler alert, it won’t be… But if what you’re creating resonates with even a few people, it’s worth it.
If what you have to say or share could help someone be a better parent, person, or partner… Then not only do you have the right to get it out into the world, you have a responsibility to get it out into the world.
Your work doesn’t do anyone any good sitting in your head or on your laptop.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Believe in the beauty of your dream.”
Today, receive, honor, and act on your creativity and agency. Kick those traitorous doubts to the curb.
Believe that what you have to say and share will make a difference, and then get out of your own way and get to work.
You’ll never be sorry you completed and contributed your unique work to the world, you’ll only be sorry you didn’t do it… sooner.
ACTION
- What have you been holding back on sharing with the world? What do you want to contribute? There’s no barrier to entry except your lack of belief.
- What is one thing you can do TODAY to move one step closer to getting your project out of your head and into the world where it can make a difference?
This week’s focus is on not having doubts. Do you believe that you can achieve your dreams? Do you believe that what you have to say or share can make a difference?
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Word-Of-the-Week #2025: Self Centered
April 2, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2025: Self Centered
Self Centered – believing that the chief motives of human action are derived from love of self.
Do you believe that it’s important to love yourself? Have you taken the time to find out what you want out of your life and your relationships? Have you found that you have more energy to help others when you have taken time for yourself?
This week I am re-running a WOW from 20 years ago. It felt like a great follow up to last weeks’ WOW on Choices.
No Same Day Service
Several years ago, my husband at the time, and I were planning a weekend trip to a beach house in Rosarito, Mexico. I had made a list that consisted of 42,000 things to do before this well-deserved vacation. I knew quite well that I would never have enough time to finish everything. But gosh, I am a positive thinker and I knew that I could at least try. At 7:30 a.m., while I was cooking breakfast and packing the food we were taking with us, my husband asked casually, Hey honey, do you think you could change the oil in the truck before we go?’
Yikes! My entire day was planned the night before and he was asking me now? Why couldn’t HE do it? I didn’t have time to change the oil! He had to be kidding. Didn’t he realize that I was already max’d out? How many times has something like this happened to you? How many times has someone asked you to do something at the last minute and it totally throws off your day? How many times has someone’s lack of planning created a crisis that necessitated you dropping everything to accommodate them?
Unfortunately, it happens all too often. For whatever reason, I decided that I wasn’t going to do that anymore. I don’t know where they came from, but these fantastic words popped out of my mouth, “No same day service.” I decided that if anyone, my husband included, wanted me to do anything for them that they would have to ask prior to the day they wanted it done. You can imagine my husband’s response! He had trained me to drop everything for him and now I was trying to change that. It was time to be retrained!
So the next time a co-worker asks yet again, “Will you cover for me while I take a long lunch?” Or your husband asks, “Honey, will you iron my shirt?” as you are walking out the door to go to work. Or your child asks you five minutes before they have to catch the bus for school, “Mom, I need a sack lunch for the field trip today.” will you say, “No Same Day Service.” Or here’s another idea, announce this to your family, friends, and co-workers before you are faced with yet again another last minute crisis!
This week I want you to focus on being self-centered. Can you see how adopting “No Same Day Service” will reduce your level of stress and unhappiness as well? How would it feel to have that weight lifted? Are you willing to create a sense of balance by taking one step back and taking care of your “self?”
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Word-Of-the-Week #2024: Choices
March 26, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2024: Choices
Choices – what we make consciously or unconsciously every day.
Are you living a life that is true to yourself and not what others expect of you? Do you have the courage to express your feelings?
This week features the “Top Five Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware from the “Points to Ponder” section from Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor.
“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. I was with them for the last few weeks of their lives, We shared some incredibly special and intimate times.
People grow a lot when they’re faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.
As expected, each experienced a variety of emotions: denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually, acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about regrets they had or anything they wished they would have done differently, these five common themes surfaced again and again:
- I Wish I’d Had the Courage to Live A Life True to Myself, Not the Life Others Expected of Me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it’s easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people hadn’t honored even a half of their dreams and died knowing this was due to choices they’d made … or not made.
It’s very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. The moment you lose your health, it’s too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize until they no longer have it.
- I Wish I Didn’t Work So Hard.
This came from every male patient I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it’s possible to not need the income you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
- I Wish I’d Had the Courage to Express My Feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We can’t control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a new and healthier level … or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
- I Wish I’d Stayed in Touch with My Friends.
Often they wouldn’t truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they’d let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they’re dying.
It’s common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you’re faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But money or status don’t hold the true importance for them.
They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they’re too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That’s all that remains in the final weeks: love and relationships.
- I Wish I’d Let Myself Be Happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many didn’t realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They’d stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called “comfort” of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you’re on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you’re physically dying.
Life is a choice. It’s YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
This week’s focus is on choices. Are you spending more time at work or with your family? Are you keeping in contact with your friends? If you were told you only had 6 months to live, would you live your life any differently?
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Word-Of-the-Week #2023: Upset
March 19, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2023: Upset
Upset – mental or emotional distress.
How often do you feel upset? Do you have a tendency to carry it around and let it ruin your day?
Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought-provoking piece! This one really spoke to me as it is something I am currently working on!
Great Question: Upset?
(Great questions lead to great answers; weak questions, weak ones.)
“Why do I let myself become upset at what someone else does?”
Coaching Point: A companion question is, “Who pays the price for my upset?”
But wait!, you might say, “I can’t let them get away with . . . (whatever ‘they’ are doing that so upsets you). I know what’s right and they are wrong.”
Fine. Absolutely fine. The ability to discern is a useful life skill. When you discern the incorrectness/unusefulness/wrongness of another person’s behavior, do whatever is within your power to change things.
Offer a different point of view to them. Learn from them. Set a personal boundary. End a relationship. Do whatever you choose is best, but do so without being upset.
If you still believe, after considering it, that it is appropriate for you to be upset over someone else’s behavior, what does being upset cost you?
See all past issues and subscribe here Steve’s 3-Minute Coaching
— Copyright 2023 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. —
This week’s focus is all about upsets. How easy is it for you to let go of an upset? How would it feel knowing you’re the one in charge of not being upset?
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