Word-Of-the-Week #749: Advice

December 13, 2018 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #749: Advice 

Advice an opinion that someone gives you about what you should do.

How receptive are you to getting advice? Do you trust your own gut instincts?

This is a follow up to last week’s Opinion. I think there are people who mistake an opinion for advice. When someone offers their opinion that’s all it is. If they’re telling you that you should do something or act differently that becomes advice.

“The trouble with advice is that it’s usually something you don’t want to hear.”

– CHARLES DE LINT, The Onion Girl

In pondering this I realized I prefer advice when I have asked for it. How many times have you gotten unsolicited advice? How did it make you feel? Basically for me it brings up feelings of “I know better than you do” and superiority. Does it seem like the one’s giving unsolicited advice a lot of the time are those people closest to you?

I like to share and receive information, reviews, etc. Sharing information is not giving advice but actually a way to receive advice or validation. It really comes down to how that information is presented and perceived.

“Before you give advice, that is to say advice which you have not been asked to give, it is well to put to yourself two questions–namely, what is your motive for giving it, and what is it likely to be worth? If these questions were always asked, and honestly answered, there would be less advice given.”

– JOHN WILLIAM MACKAIL, “On Giving Advice”

When I travel I have always asked people their advice on places I haven’t been to and it has served me well! That being said, it is my gut feeling that ultimately decides whether to use the advice or not. I can’t explain why I believe some people and not others.

“I only do what my gut tells me to. I think it’s smart to listen to other people’s advice, but at the end of the day, you’re the only one who can tell you what’s right for you”

– JENNIFER LOPEZ, Woman’s Day Magazine, Nov. 13, 2007

This week is all about advice. Do you have a tendency to give it more than you take it? How about your family members? This is the time of year when you see more of them and a reminder that they may be just giving their opinion and not advice!

PS – I write about that which I need to be reminded of or that resonates with me. And things that I would like to or will say to someone I love and care deeply about. I try to keep my emotions out of my WOW’s but they have a way of creeping in! Pretty much like my life 😊

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Word-Of-the-Week #748: Opinion

December 6, 2018 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #748: Opinion 

Opinion a judgment or belief not founded on certainty or proof.

Do you trust your own judgment? Are you bothered when others what to share their opinion? Have you ever questioned why that is?

Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, once again has great insight to share.

Quote: The Opinions of Others 

(Quotes are capsules of information, reinforcement or enlightenment.)

“Don’t let the opinions of the average man sway you.

Dream, and he thinks you’re crazy.

Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky.

Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy.

Pay no attention. He simply doesn’t understand.”

                                                                                    – Robert Allen 

Coaching Point: What is so compelling about the opinions of others? Why do we let them affect us so much? Can’t we trust ourselves? 

This week is all about understanding what an opinion is. It’s just someone else’s belief. It doesn’t make it right or wrong. How would it feel to listen without being emotional? And vice versa, how would it feel to express your opinion without getting emotional? How it easy would it be for you to say, “It’s just their opinion”?

And if you want more, check out Opinions Are Like Belly Buttons.

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Word-Of-the-Week #747: Cheerful

November 29, 2018 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #747: Cheerful 

Cheerful – having a happy disposition; in good spirits.

How has the first week of the official Holiday Season been for you? Did you allow yourself to lollygag? Are you feeling cheerful?

This week’s WOW is brought to you by my local Einstein Bagels Store. Lox and bagels were going to be our Thanksgiving breakfast treat! I called the store in the morning and asked that they save me two everything bagels. Not a problem.

When I arrived at the store just after noon there was a line. And as I stood there waiting I saw the small chalk board next to the register with big lettering that read, “Word of the Day” on the top and “Cheerful” underneath it.

How many people do you think complained about waiting? Or anything else for that matter? The staff was busy, moving as fast as they could, and everyone was attentive and smiling. I thought to myself “What a brilliant idea!” Putting any positive word on that chalk board would have the same effect I’m pretty sure.

If you need a gentle nudge to get more cheerful check out these quotes from Success.com. My favorite is this one, “The energy you give off is the energy you receive. I really think that, so I’m always myself—jumping, dancing, singing around, trying to cheer everybody up.”Cara Delevingne

This week’s focus is cheerful. Would you say you have a happy disposition? If you are feeling down do you know how to lift your spirits? If it’s true that the energy you give off is the energy you receive, what are you getting?

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Word-Of-the-Week #746: Lollygag

November 22, 2018 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #746: Lollygag 

Lollygag – to waste time by puttering aimlessly; dawdle.

Do you know anybody that dawdles? Do you ever lollygag? Did you see the movie Bull Durham? It is one of my all time favorite movies!

Today is Thanksgiving and the official start of the Holiday Season. A word that is always associated with it is Believe. And it brought to mind the scene where Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) is in the home of Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon). She picks one player each season for her lover. She hasn’t decided between Crash and “Nuke” Laloosh (Tim Robbins) saying that it has to do with Quantum Physics.

At that point Crash gets up and says, “I don’t believe in Quantum Physics when it comes to matters of the heart.” He then goes into a long dialogue about everything he believes in. The last line of which I can quote by memory, “I believe in long, slow, soft, deep, wet kisses that last three days.” To which Annie sighs deeply.

There are so many great lines in the movie but the one that always cracks me up is when the coach yells for all of the players to get in the shower immediately after losing their 12th game. He then says, “You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag to first base. You lollygag in and out of the dugout.” He then says, “You know what that makes you?” To which his right hand man behind him (who parrots everything he says throughout the movie) answers “A bunch of lollygaggers.”

The Holidays can be very stressful…or not. It is your choice. I believe that dawdling is a good thing. I start my holiday decorating right after Halloween. And that allows me to actually enjoy it since I am not rushing. There is no pressure when it’s done at a leisurely pace. I am thankful that I allow myself to dawdle at times. Do you?

This week’s focus is to lollygag. You do know that it’s OK to do that? How about taking some time just for you? You could even watch Bull Durham. Beware though, it is Rated R. Here’s to having less stress, enjoying the Holidays more, and being thankful everyday for all we have!

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Word-Of-the-Week #745: Disposition

November 15, 2018 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #745: Disposition 

Disposition one’s usual mood or frame of mind.

What would you say your usual mood is? Do you see the glass half-full or half-empty?

This week features excerpts from a couple of articles on Disposition.

From the Economist, “Sunny side up – Optimism, it seems, is in the genes.”

“For some people in this world, the glass always seems to be half-full. For others it is half-empty. But how someone comes to have a sunny disposition in the first place is an interesting question.

It has been known for a long time that optimists see the world selectively, mentally processing positive things while ignoring negative ones, and that this outlook helps determine their health and well-being. In recent years, it has also become clear that carriers of a particular version of a particular gene are at higher risk than others of depression and attempted suicide when they face traumatic events.”

And it turns out that some of us have genes that are biased towards positive images and away from negative ones. In other words, the optimists really do see the world differently. Amazing huh?

She goes on to say, “Rose-tinted spectacles may be good for one’s health, as these results fit in with wider ideas about how a tendency to look on the bright side of life is part of being resilient to stress. Those with short variants of this gene are expected to have an increased susceptibility to mood disorders following such stress. It is not all good news, though, for optimists. Because these results suggest that a person’s attitude to life is inherited, they serve as a stark warning to all buoyant optimists that trying to cheer the rest of the world up with nothing more than a smile and an effortlessly sunny disposition is doomed to failure.”

And this from Devaney Rae Jones “Is Your Disposition Repelling Your Choices?

Do you ever consider how your disposition affects your available choices in life? Even more, how does your disposition impact your existing relationships, as well as the outcomes in your work or project efforts?

 Oh, and for the record: your disposition has to do with your usual mood and your tendencies to act or to think in a certain way.

Your Mindset – is connected to your words. Here’s how the mindset-to-words connection flows: when your established set of attitudes (your mindset) is left unchallenged, over a period of time you generally develop fixed beliefs, strong opinions, and patterned tendencies in your responses and behaviors. These impact your interactions with others about various subject matter, especially your responses and behaviors as reflected through your words. Therefore, your mindset becomes obvious to others through your words.

Here’s the Deal: Are you drawing amazing choices (people and situations) into your life, or do you repel them, through the reflection of your mindset?

And one more thought from LA Times writer Michelle Vartan about dealing with the winter blues. She writes, Be Mindful. Brain scans show that practicing gratitude can rewire our reticular activating system – the area of our mind that focuses on good versus bad. Once you wake up, instead of focusing on your to-do list, think of three things you’re grateful for, then get out of bed.”

This week’s focus is on your disposition. Personally I have always believed that your disposition is a choice and can be changed. Given that, would you keep the disposition you have? Have you figured out what is FUN for you? It just might change your disposition if you did it more!

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