Word-Of-the-Week #758: Valentine

February 14, 2019 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #758: Valentine 

Valentinea card or gift expressing love or affection.

Did you give or receive a card or gift expressing love today on Valentine’s Day? Are there any other days during the year that you give a gift or a card that expresses your love or affection?

Since today is Valentine’s Day I felt it was a good time to revisit what I wrote several years back. In the Calendar section of the LA Times there is a feature titled, “UNDERRATED” & “OVERRATED” every Sunday. In “OVERRATED” they wrote, “Valentine’s Day: With apologies to jewelers, movie studios and chocolatiers who count on us showering our loved ones with gifts for this magical 24-hour period, we encourage you all to fight the hype. Honor and adore your special someones, certainly, but do the same on any given Sunday. The commercial frenzy of this day strikes us as the romantic equivalent of New Year’s Eve: amateur night.”

Well, I agree! It would be a real shame if I only had one day a year to look forward to giving or receiving a gift or card expressing love or affection. I feel very lucky because Chris and I shower each other with words of love and give cards all year long. And what I like most is that they are given when they are least expected.

I have said in prior WOW’s that we do not give Birthday or Christmas gifts. It’s just not FUN when you have to “come up with something.” Chris wanted a new lens for his camera so he bought it and I said, “Oh great, that’s your Christmas present from me.” And I bought a sweet little emerald in Cartagena that was made into a ring and he gave me that for my birthday. Hey, what could be better? No pressure and no disappointment!

This week think about how you feel about Valentine’s Day. Is it the only day of the year that you give or receive a card or gift expressing love or affection? What if you created one day a week or a month as your surprise Valentine’s Day? How much effort does it really take to honor and adore your significant other? And how nice does it feel to be honored and adored?

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Word-Of-the-Week #757: Rejuvenated

February 7, 2019 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #757: Rejuvenated 

Rejuvenatedrestored to youthful vigor or appearance.

When was the last time you felt rejuvenated? Do you have an exercise routine that you follow diligently? How disciplined are you when it comes to eating?

This week features the 2nd part of Kavita Daswani’s LA Times article, “To feel rejuvenated at age 95, try living fearlessly.”

To Recap: “Phyllis Sues is writing her first book, “20 Tips to Change Your Life,” pushing the notion that it’s never too late to develop at least a few healthy habits. She believes that the key to longevity and lasting health lies in remaining active, open-minded and unafraid to learn new things. And her big secret? She enjoys a steady diet of buttery mashed potatoes, bread, El Pollo Loco and nightly helpings of ice cream — but says it’s all in the portions. 

Here’s how she does it: 

  • Develop a routine

Every morning when you wake up, say out loud, ‘Good morning, good morning, I love this day, I’m out to play, I’m not going to delay.’ And then, do something. I do 20 minutes of stretching in bed before yoga. Sometimes I jump rope or lift weights. My living room is my gym. 

  • I have issues, but …

I have rotator cuff problems in one shoulder, a ruptured bicep, meniscus in the knee and neuropathy in my feet. I want to feel good. I want my body to be in perfect shape. And it’s very difficult as you age because things start to fall apart and you have to fight like crazy. It’s an uphill battle.  

  • Carbs, come on down

I’ve never weighed more than 100 pounds, but I can eat whatever I want. I just don’t eat a lot of it. Breakfast is a slice of cinnamon raisin toast with Irish Kerrygold butter, peanut butter and sliced bananas, and an espresso. I like El Pollo Loco chicken breast or thigh, nothing else with it, and I have it with a salad. I love mashed potatoes with butter and heavy cream. And every night, I alternate between Häagen-Dazs Coffee and Vanilla Bean ice cream. Mostly I eat alone, and I find I eat even less when I’m by myself. 

  • Move. Listen. Learn.

That is my philosophy. To be sedentary is terrible, so move. Dance, walk, anything, just move. Then, know how to face challenges, because there are so many out there. Receive them and respond to them, and learn something every day, a new language, a musical instrument; it will keep you all there. I’m so driven and I don’t give up; no matter how difficult something is, I will accomplish it.

This week’s focus is on feeling rejuvenated. Have you made excuses for why you can’t do something that you know would make you feel youthful vigor? How disciplined are you when it comes to eating? How would it feel to move more, listen more, and learn more every day?

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Word-Of-the-Week #756: Fearless

January 31, 2019 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #756: Fearless 

Fearlessbold or brave.

Are you unafraid to try or learn new things? Would you say you are open-minded? How active are you on a daily basis?

This week features the 1st part of Kavita Daswani’s LA Times article, “To feel rejuvenated at age 95, try living fearlessly.”

“Phyllis Sues has never exactly rushed into things. 

She launched a business at 50 and became a trapeze enthusiast at 75. At 85, she took her first yoga lesson, got into tango dancing shortly after, and jumped out of a plane at 90.

Now, at 95, Sues — who lives in an elegant home above Sunset Plaza — is writing her first book, “20 Tips to Change Your Life,” pushing the notion that it’s never too late to develop at least a few healthy habits. 

The former dancer says she wants to be an inspiration to people of any age who might be struggling with their health. Sure, she has good genes; her mother lived to 94, and her older sister recently turned 100. But she believes that the key to longevity and lasting health lies in remaining active, open-minded and unafraid to learn new things. And her big secret? She enjoys a steady diet of buttery mashed potatoes, bread, El Pollo Loco and nightly helpings of ice cream — but says it’s all in the portions. 

Here’s how she does it: 

  • Bust out of the comfort zone

I took my first ballet lesson at 14. After, I knew I was going to be dancing for the rest of my life. I did some Spanish dancing, performed around Europe and South America and on Broadway. When I was 75, I read an article about trapeze flying. The person who wrote it said that when he was out there and on the bar, he was really present for the first time in his life. I remember thinking, ‘That’s where I want to be.’ I went to a place near the airport. I climbed up a 30-foot high ladder, and that was the part that scared me. Once I got onto the platform, I put my hands on the bar and just flew. I loved it. 

  • Cracking the handstand and slaying the peacock

When I was 85, someone dragged me to a yoga class at the YMCA in Hollywood. The instructor said, ‘Handstands, everybody.’ I thought, ‘Come on now.’ I asked the guy next to me how long it took him to do a handstand, and he said six years. I thought, ‘That’s OK, I have time.’ I do hatha yoga every morning for an hour. It’s not an exercise. It’s a practice. You learn to take your time. I can now do all those difficult poses like the peacock. The first time I saw my instructor do it, I remember thinking that it was impossible, your whole body is balanced on your hands. But I wanted to get it right, so I kept practicing and I woke up one morning and tried again and all of a sudden, I was up.”

  • Hit that tango

Someone introduced me to tango, and that’s been my diamond in the rough. I knew I couldn’t do tango if I wasn’t sufficient in yoga. I needed balance, and the two of them made a marriage. I went to a milonga — a place where they do tango — in Burbank. I told the instructor I wanted a private lesson a week, but after the first one, I made it three a week. After my instructor moved away, I went to see Marcos Questas and his partner Ruta Maria as they rehearsed. I couldn’t believe what was going on, it was so gorgeous. I take lessons from them three times a week”. 

This week’s focus is on being fearless. When was the last time you busted out of your comfort zone? How willing are you to practice something difficult until you get it right? Have you ever considered taking Tango lessons or any type of dancing?

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Word-Of-the-Week #755: Motive

January 24, 2019 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #755: Motive 

Motive – a desire, interest, or drive that spurs you to take action.

Did you get any clearer on intentions you’d like see happen this year? What are your desires or interests? Have you had any impulses that spurred you to action?

This week features excerpts from the Khan Academy. “Motives come from your needs. You need to eat to survive, you need to brush your teeth to keep them healthy, and you need to work to earn money to be able to buy food and pay your rent.  

Needs can come in many different forms – some needs are more emotional, like the desire to do well on an exam, and some are biological, like the need to drink a glass of water when you’re thirsty. Your needs may change throughout your lifespan – your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, environment, culture, and social relationships all come into play as you decide what you need at a particular moment in time.  

If your needs are not met, you might feel like you’ve lost your purpose or like something is missing from your life. When you feel that way, you may try to fill the gap in your life and fulfill your needs. For example, if one of your needs is to go to medical school, you will be motivated to take biology and chemistry classes, study hard, earn good grades, and fill out applications to schools that you like. If you’re accepted into medical school, you will have successfully fulfilled your need (and will feel great!), but you’ll also probably have a new need – to graduate from medical school! If you aren’t accepted then you’ll still feel like something is missing, and you’ll either keep trying to achieve your goal and apply to programs again, or you may decide that a different career would be better for you and choose a new goal to work towards.

The three types of needs that we experience are: 

  • Physiological needs are innate, biological, and must be met in order for you to survive. 
  • Psychological needs are based on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, expectations, and self-image. Psychological needs are important for your mental health and happiness, and to create balance and harmony in your mind.
  • Learned needs are needs that come from your experiences and are heavily influenced by things that happen to you throughout your life. You learn to want things like praise, money, success, and pleasure. 

Where your motives come from: 

  • Intrinsic motives are based on internal factors like what you like to do and things that make you happy. For example, Joe works for a snowboard company because he loves snowboarding and is happiest when he is on the slopes.
  • Extrinsic motives are based on external factors like money, rewards, obligations, or approval. For example, Joe sells a specific number of snowboards each year because he needs to make money and wants to earn rewards from his job. 

Motive is the inducement to take action. Intent is the mental resolution or determination to do it.

This week’s focus is on your motive.  What are the things you like to do and that make you happy? Would you like more approval or a job with better pay? The clearer you get the easier it will be to take the actions needed!

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Word-Of-the-Week #754: Intention

January 17, 2019 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #754: Intention 

Intentiona course of action that one intends to follow.

Is the life you’re living satisfying and fulfilling? Is there any part you would like to change? Are your personal and business relationships as harmonious as you would like?

I sent this over seven years ago and felt compelled to revisit it since we are at the start of a brand new year. Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING writes, “Occasionally you hear, ‘I’ve set an intention.’ Or, ‘I have a powerful intention.’ Or, ‘My intention is strong.’ Or even, ‘The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.’ In this light intentions sound like something you do, actions on your part. There’s another view.

Intentions simply are. They are to be discovered, not set, played with, not labored over. Intentions serve you rather than the other way around. If this is so, what sort of shift might you make? And why would you?  

Where do intentions come from? They come from a soft, gentle, quiet place. They come from your life purpose, your journey, the why-you’re-here place.

Can you make an intention up and then work at it really hard? Sure. But that’s probably based on some unmet need, a perceived ‘missing’ in your life, or some other feeling of not having enough. You’re using an intention to try to accomplish something which may not even be related to what your life is really about. Visit with some old people to learn the wisdom of this. They tell stories of efforting toward what turned out to be empty outcomes. 

A real intention is much cleaner than that. And simpler. Intentions come from your future, the unfoldment of your journey. Intentions pull you toward them. Intentions encourage.  

Useful goals, desires, and objectives each probably have an embedded intention. Discover the intention within and let it guide.

Coaching Point: Have you yet learned to listen to the soft voice of your intentions?”

Copyright 2011 Steve Straus. All rights reserved 

I don’t know about you but the first week of the New Year was crazy busy for me. While I am not complaining it reminds me that when I am well prepared ahead of time it makes for a lot less stress and more FUN! So that is one on my intentions for 2019.

This week is about creating an intention. Do you know what your life purpose is? What course of action do you intend to follow to make that happen? The clearer and more specific you are regarding an intention makes it that much easier to achieve!

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