Word-Of-the-Week #1139: Cuddle
July 9, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1139: Cuddle
Cuddle – to hug affectionately; lie close and snuggle.
When was the last time you had a good cuddle? How did it make you feel?
This week features “The Health Benefits of Cuddling” by Paul Frysh at WebMD.com.
“Ease Stress: When you cuddle with someone you care about, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin that calms you and makes you more likely to deal better with stress. For example, you might laugh, distract yourself, or try to solve a problem. It also can lower your blood pressure and lower levels of the “stress hormone” cortisol, which also can help.
May Help Your Heart: It’s good for your ticker if your blood pressure’s lower and your stress levels are down. Scientists say it’s clearer that women get this benefit from cuddling, but it seems to be true for both sexes.
Relieves Pain: A good cuddle may give you more than just moral support after an injury. The oxytocin it releases can help block pain signals. It works so well that doctors are trying to figure out how to treat people with a lab-made form of it.
Fight Colds: Hugs from people you trust may protect you against this common virus, especially if you’re under a lot of stress. And if you’re already sick, more cuddling might keep your symptoms from getting worse.
Connects You to Your Partner: Oxytocin is sometimes called the “love hormone” — you often have more of it in your blood if you hug your partner a lot. Couples who cuddle and kiss freely tend to be happier, healthier, and less stressed.
Helps You Sleep: Oxytocin is the magic ingredient again, probably because of its calming effects. But some people wake up often if they fall asleep in a cuddling or “spooning” position. That’s OK. You can get a lot out of it in the 10 minutes or so before you go to sleep at night.
Helps You Bond With Your Newborn: Parents who cuddle with their babies, especially skin-to-skin, feel closer to them and are more tuned in to their needs. Research shows that dads are likely to get more involved, and moms may not feel stressed or sad. Babies may cry less, sleep better, and breastfeed sooner.
Good for Baby’s Health: Cuddling can boost an infant’s oxygen levels, calm its breathing, and ease pain signals. And for an underweight baby, it raises survival chances by more than a third. It helps the brain grow and makes infection and other illnesses, like hypoglycemia or hypothermia, less likely.
Should You Hug Your Dog?: You may get many of the same benefits as a human cuddle, but your dog might not like it. Don’t misread the response from your furry friend: Ears back and eyes turned away could be signs of stress, not happiness. Fido probably would rather have a pat, a treat, or a kind word.
Hug Your … Phone?: In one study, people were asked to hug a human-shaped cushion with a built-in phone and talk to a partner through the device. The results showed they got one of the big benefits of a real embrace: lower stress hormones. Scientists are studying this effect to see if it might boost social support in this age of technology.”
This week’s focus is having a cuddle. Would you like to have less stress? How about having a deeper connection with your loved ones? Did you know that physical touch is one of the 5 Love Languages? More on that next week!
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Word-Of-the-Week #1138: Likable
July 2, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1138: Likable
Likable – having qualities that make people want to be around you.
How good are you at giving compliments? Are you able to laugh at yourself rather than being defensive?
This week features, “The Most Likable Person In The Room Is Almost Always Doing 4 Specific Things,” by Lily Bell at YourTango.com
“We all want to be liked, but some people appear better at it than others. It can be frustrating when you see your friends become a magnet and attract people they just met, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change your approach. The most likable person in any room stands out for a reason, after all.
It’s important to remember that you shouldn’t compare yourself to people who seem to be the life of the party, because they might be trying extremely hard to appear that way. It isn’t just about their personality, but about habits that make them more enjoyable to be around.
The most likable person in the room is almost always doing 4 specific things
- Listening more than they talk
We all want to feel seen and heard. Everyone’s lives get busy, and it can be hard for our friends to find time to look after us since they’re likely busy taking care of themselves. So, when someone else outside of our friend group listens intently to us, it makes us feel deeply understood.
The most likable people in the room help others feel like they aren’t just part of a big group of people. When they listen without speaking, it validates our experiences. It’s no wonder everyone around them finds them magnetic.
If you spend all your time talking, you make others think you aren’t really listening. You portray yourself as selfish and domineering, rather than letting others guide the conversation.
- Staying authentic
If you think someone is fake, whether it’s a friend or an acquaintance, you’re likely unable to trust them. You might worry they’re talking about you behind your back or are not really who they pretend to be. But since trust is the foundation of any good relationship, being likable means staying authentic, earning trust by being vulnerable and genuine.
People don’t typically like to talk about their negative traits. Some worry that if they do, it will turn others away, so they hide those negative qualities. Authentic people, however, share the things they feel insecure about because they know it’s a part of who they are.
Being vulnerable shows others that they’re not being fake and that they’re relatable. Having somebody be honest and open about their insecurities helps other people feel secure just being near them.
- Laughing at themselves
An easy way to become unlikable is by being defensive when others critique you. This is particularly frustrating if they overreact to comments that were casual and didn’t seem rude. While some people yell or cut off someone poking fun, likable individuals know the power of laughing at themselves.
People want to be around someone who can laugh at themselves. When someone is able to do this, others feel more comfortable speaking. They don’t need to watch their words around them the same way they do around friends who respond poorly to criticism.
Along with making others feel comfortable, they’re incredibly magnetic. The confidence someone shows by being able to laugh at themselves lets others see them as more appealing, and someone they want to get to know better.
- Giving genuine compliments
Everyone is insecure about something. Even if there’s not a particular thing that makes them feel this way, they may still hold the belief that they aren’t good enough. But likable people know how to get people out of that rut by giving compliments that are real and genuine. And just a few kind words like that can make anyone feel better about themselves.
A compliment can help people feel more confident, especially when it’s about something very specific. Likable people make a compliment feel unique to the person they’re speaking to, not just generic. These compliments let people feel seen, like someone is paying enough attention to see the small things.
Giving specific compliments can make people want to be around you more. They aren’t just giving you confidence, they’re also proving how caring and engaging they are.
This week’s focus is being likable. Do you listen more than you talk? Are you authentic and able to be open and honest about any insecurities? When you give a compliment do you make it specific?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1137: Attachment
June 29, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1137: Attachment
Attachment – believing that life is permanent and you need lots of stuff to feel complete.
Do you feel a need to accumulate possessions? Does your car, paycheck, house, etc. determine who you are? How about the people in your life? And during the Holidays do you feel a need to buy gifts for everyone? Or anytime for that matter?
Based on all the events that seem to be happening to some of my friends, I felt a strong need to revisit this WOW that I wrote back in 2006 right after my mother passed away. In the Dalai Lama’s book, “How to Expand Love,” his Holiness suggests that we might behave better if we remember that life is temporary.
“One of the chief reasons why lust and hatred arise is that we are too attached to this lifetime. We want to believe it is permanent, that it will last forever, so we concentrate too much on temporary circumstances and place too much value on material goods.”
“The only way to get around this is to reflect on the fact that all things pass – you too will pass away.”
My mother always said, “Life is short.” As I write this, I am thinking about all of my friends and family who are no longer with us, and reflecting on how short it now feels. My mom didn’t need a lot of things and could have spent a lot more money than she did. She knew that one day she would die. She just didn’t know when. As a result, she lived each day to the fullest, surrounded by family and friends.
And interestingly, I have been working diligently to clean out and donate, give away, or sell items. It seems that the more space you have, the more you tend to collect! And if it’s been sitting in closets for over ten years (or more) and hasn’t been worn or used, it’s definitely time for a new home!
This week’s focus is on attachment. Do you see everything as permanent or temporary? Can you see that if you died tomorrow none of “those things” would be important in your death? Have you ever given the “gift of an experience” to a loved one? Do you have any fond memories of receiving an “experience gift?”
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Word-Of-the-Week #1136: Shame
June 18, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1136: Shame
Shame – a painful emotion resulting from an awareness of having done something wrong.
Have you ever heard the expression “don’t should on yourself?” Have you ever been guilty of doing that?
This week features another great WOW from Sam Horn.
AHA
ANECDOTE
“I had the privilege of managing programs for tennis champion Rod Laver on Hilton Head Island, SC, right out of college.
We finished one of our national tennis camps, and as a reward for my hard work, Rocket asked if I’d like to hit for a bit.
Would I?! Rocket made me work for every point, running me from side to side. Finally, he hit a weak lob, and I had my chance. If I just put this overhead away, I’d take a point off Rocket.
In my eagerness, I committed the cardinal sin of overheads. I looked where I was going to place the ball instead of keeping my eyes on the ball.
Well, I didn’t just mishit it, I took a mighty whiff and missed it altogether.
I lost my cool and started shoulding all over myself, “I should have kept my head up. I should have kept my eyes on the ball. I know better than that…”
Rocket, known for his sportsmanship, let me vent for a moment, then beckoned me over to the net and said, “Sam, champions never use the word should. The second they make a mistake, they’re already focused on how to do it right next time.”
Thank you, Rocket, for teaching me that the word should serves no good purpose.
If we make a mistake, it’s more helpful to use words like “Next time, in the future, or from now on” so we’re shaping our performance instead of shaming it.
Being a FORCE FOR GOOD leader means turning mistakes into stepping stones to success by suggesting instead of shoulding. Everyone will thank you for it.“
ACTION
- Think of a recent mistake you made…
- Did you shame it with “should,” or shape it with “next time”?
- How could you reframe that mistake into a stepping stone to success?
This week’s focus is on not shaming yourself. How would it feel to accept a mistake as a learning lesson and grow from it?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1135: Pleasing
June 11, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1135: Pleasing
Pleasing– to do what is wanted by a person.
Have you ever done something for someone that they wanted, and you didn’t? Do you feel a strong need to be pleasing to others?
Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought-provoking piece!
Personal Need: To Please
(An unmet Need causes us to feel empty, incomplete, or less than whole. Fulfilling a Need gives us freedom to be ourselves.)
“This can be a hard one to see in oneself; easy to see in others. Why is that?
When we are the pleaser, we are getting a need met. We are looking for a return from the investment being made. And be clear, pleasers pay.
Costs are common for all needs. No one gets their needs met for free. Why are we willing to pay? Because core to the issue of all needs is that an unmet need is on the pain scale, a little or a lot. It feels like a ‘missing.’ When we use an outside source to meet a need, it reduces or eliminates our discomfort for a while. We pay for that.
It is as if we are defining ourselves by what we can earn from the outside. Living life from the outside-in is risky and expensive.
Discover why you have a need to please. Where did it come from? First, you have to own the fact that you have the need. Then, let it go. That may take some work.
Then you can enjoy pleasing others only because it brings you joy. You are living your life from the inside-out. When you come from that place, pleasing pays.”
Coaching Point: Have people ever called you a people pleaser?
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— Copyright 2026 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. —
This week’s focus is on pleasing. How would it feel to be pleasing to others because it brings you joy?
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