Word-Of-the-Week #1027: Trust
April 11, 2024 by Susan Clarke
Trust – firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person.
Would you agree that you tend to trust people that you like? Do you think you could win someone’s trust without speaking to them? How often do you smile during the course of your day?
Henry DeVries, assistant dean for external affairs UC San Diego, featured another great UT article titled, “Five Ways to Win Someone’s Trust Without Speaking.” He writes, “Trust is at the core of every type of human transaction, whether it’s in business, family matters, or with a romantic partner. If you want to get hired, you need to inspire trust.
“The best way to get someone to like you is to win their trust,” says author Marvin Brown. “Like and trust are first cousins. We generally don’t like people we don’t trust. And we tend to trust people we do like.”
Brown is an expert in business communication strategies and the author of a great new book “How to Meet and Talk to Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime: Simple Strategies for Great Conversations.”
Here are a few tips from Brown for using body language to instill trust right away.
- Give a heartfelt, teeth- showing smile. This says to the other person, “You can relax and feel safe with me.” Women are generally better at this than men. To practice, pretend you’ve just bumped into a great friend you haven’t seen in years, or pretend you’ve been introduced to a famous celebrity you’ve long admired. Reproduce that smile, and for a few days practice using it when you greet people. Pay attention to its effect on them.
- Add a smile when delivering encouragement. When telling someone you’re glad to meet them, or when praising, complimenting, or congratulation them, always accompany that positive message with a smile that externalizes your inner feelings of joy or genuine warmth and affection for the person. It magnifies your message and makes it more memorable.
- Use a handshake to intensify the moment. A strong handshake is absolutely essential, no matter what your gender. But this underused gesture is for more than meeting someone the first time. A handshake when ending a conversation delivers a physical punctuation mark that makes your encounter more memorable.
- Add an extra second of eye contact when shaking hands. Always look the other person in the eyes for a full second, while smiling, before letting go of your hand. This extra moment has a tremendous impact; it makes you seem charismatic.
- When listening, complete the “communication circuit” with your eyes. Give face-to-face attention and make eye contact with the person who is speaking. This simple gesture completes the invisible connection between speaker and listener.
“Experts say it takes anywhere from five seconds to five minutes to make a first impression,” says Brown. “Either way, the process begins immediately — even before you speak. That’s because you’re already communicating — using body language.”
This week’s focus is on trust. How often do you shake hands at the end of a conversation? Are you good at making and keeping eye contact with your customers, guests, members or clients? Are you a good listener?
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