Word-Of-the-Week #962: NO

January 12, 2023 by · Leave a Comment 

NOused to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis, or disagreement. 

How did you hold up this Holiday Season? Did you feel like there were too many obligations? Do you feel guilty just thinking about saying NO to someone?

This week Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor, sent A To-Do List for 2023? Not So Fast” and it seemed like a great follow up to last week. 

“This is the time of year when most people make New Year’s resolutions with all good intent … promises to themselves they seldom end up keeping because they’re too busy and just don’t have the time to add more balls to the juggle. 

Jim Collins, author of the mega-bestseller Good to Great, had a suggestion: instead of to-do lists, make a “stop-doing” list. Because in obsessing over to-do lists full of things that don’t really matter, we spend less time saying yes to the truly important things. 

Here are seven things the most successful people say no to on a regular basis. Perhaps you should, too.

  1. Say No to opportunities and things that don’t excite you, speak to your values, or further your mission in life.                                                                                                                                       
  2. Say No to superficial networking events in which people swap business cards and never hear from one another. Why? Because successful people don’t network. They build relationships. 
  1. Say No to spending time with uninspiring, critical, or negative people who drag you down. Time is precious — choose a small circle of people who will energize you and challenge you to be better. 
  1. Say No to overworking. While it’s true some successful people and many restaurant owners put in 60 to 80 hours per week, very successful people aren’t workaholics who neglect self-care and family. They recognize if they can’t take care of themselves, everything else suffers. 
  1. Say No to doing all the work. This comes down to one word: D-E-L-E-G-A-T-I-O-N. 
  1. Say No to giving the steering wheel of your life to anyone else. Warren Buffett says: “You’ve gotta keep control of your time and you can’t do that unless you say no. You can’t let people set your agenda in life.” 
  1. Say No to people-pleasing. Successful people don’t neglect their deepest wishes and desires to accommodate and yield to others’ wishes and desires. 

Before you make yet another list of futile New Year’s resolutions, perhaps you’d be better served by taking a day off to reflect on what’s really important to you. Then make a list of everything you need to STOP doing in order to free up the time you need to make progress on the critical stuff.”

This week’s focus is on saying NO to things that are not important to you! What excites you and can further your mission in life? Do you have a small circle of people who will energize you and challenge you to be better? Are you the person in charge of setting your agenda?

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Word-Of-the-Week #647: NO

December 29, 2016 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #647: NO 

NOused to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis, or disagreement.

How are you holding up this Holiday Season? Do you feel like there are too many social obligations? Do you feel guilty just thinking about saying NO to someone?

This from Sarita Maybin, my good friend and fellow speaker, seemed perfect timing for this week’s WOW. She is the author of “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What Do You Say?”

Say NO Nicely

My favorite ways to say NO fall into the three categories below. Choose the phrases–or a combination of phrases–that work best for you! (Note: Avoid making excuses)

  1. Compliment + NO
  • “I appreciate your thinking of me; however I’m going to opt out.”
  • “Thanks for the opportunity; however I’m not able to pursue it.”
  • “This sounds like a great project, yet I won’t be able to participate.
  • “I’m flattered that you’d ask me out, but I’m going to pass.”
  • “Thank you, but my plate is full.”
  1. Empathy + NO
  • “I know you need help with this, however I’m not available.”
  • “I wish I could assist you, however I’m not able to.”
  • “I’m not able to attend, but would love to help in another way.”
  • “I know you’re swamped with work, unfortunately I’m not able to help.”
  • “You’ve worked hard on this committee; however I won’t be able to join.”
  1. “Choose” to say NO
  • “I’ve chosen to pass on that offer.”
  • “That’s not on my radar right now.”
  • “That doesn’t work for me.”
  • “I’m not feelin’ it.”
  • “It’s not calling me.”

(By the way, category #3 also works well when someone replies with WHY!???  You say: “That just doesn’t work for me.” or “I’m just not feelin’ it.”)

Guilt-Free YES

  • If you must say YES, do it without guilt…set conditions and parameters that work for you!
  • “I’d be happy to get that info to you, if can wait until tomorrow”
  • “Boss, I’d love to get that project done for you.  Please let me know its priority in relation to the other assignments”
  • “I’ll get that done for you as soon as I finish what I’m working on.”

This week’s focus is on saying NO nicely. How comfortable is it for you to say NO? How many times have you wished you said NO and didn’t? Can you see yourself saying NO without any guilt?

For more information on saying NO nicely, read Chapter 5: An Offer You Can Refuse, in Sarita’s book  “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?”

I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.

WOW Word-Of-the-Week #321: NO

November 10, 2010 by · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #321: NO 

NO – used to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis, or disagreement.

Do you have a problem saying NO to someone? Does it bother you when you’re told NO? Does the word NO make you want to get your way all the more?

To follow up on my selfish theme this seemed most appropriate. Sarita Maybin, my good friend and fellow speaker had this to say in her last “What Do You Say Communique.”’

Say NO Nicely

My favorite ways to say NO fall into the three categories below. Choose the phrases–or a combination of phrases–that work best for you!   (Note:  Avoid making excuses)

1. Compliment + NO

“I appreciate your thinking of me; however I’m going to opt out.”
“Thanks for the opportunity; however I’m not able to pursue it.”
“This sounds like a great project, yet I won’t be able to participate.
“I’m flattered that you’d ask me out, but I’m going to pass.”
“Thank you, but my plate is full.”

2. Empathy + NO

“I know you need help with this, however I’m not available.”
“I wish I could assist you, however I’m not able to.”
“I’m not able to attend, but would love to help in another way.”
“I know you’re swamped with work, unfortunately I’m not able to help.”
“You’ve worked hard on this committee; however I won’t be able to join.”

3. “Choose” to say NO

“I’ve chosen to pass on that offer.”
“That’s not on my radar right now.”
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I’m not feelin’ it.”
“It’s not calling me.”

(By the way, category #3 also works well when someone replies with WHY!???  You say:   “That just doesn’t work for me.”  or “I’m just not feelin’ it.”)

Guilt-Free YES

If you must say YES, do it without guilt…set conditions and parameters that work for you!

“I’d be happy to get that info to you, if can wait until tomorrow”
“Boss, I’d love to get that project done for you.  Please let me know its priority in relation to the other assignments”
“I’ll get that done for you as soon as I finish what I’m working on.”

This week think about saying NO nicely. How comfortable is it for you to say NO? How many times have you wished you said NO and didn’t? Do you say NO more times than you say YES?

Reader Responses

“I loved this week’s advice!! I am going to practice it in my personal life!!” – Hugs, Katie

“In the short time I have walked this planet I have learned that NO is a GOOD word. I have used it a number of times with my daughters, especially my older girl. Now, I have told her that in a number of instances when she wants something, we will tell her YES. But the times we say NO, there is a reason. She has fussed, cried and complained, but each time she has been able to get over it. I have found that saying NO is also a commitment. There are times when people will waffle between YES and NO and not commit to one. That drives people crazier than if someone would JUST SAY NO! When a person says NO (and means it), the other person is able to move on without having to wonder if there was a commitment. I think it is the INDECISION of people that makes others crazy. I received a phone call several weeks ago from a financial broker in New York who wanted me to buy some stock he was promoting. I told him that my wife and I were committing our discretionary income to our home this year instead of the stock market. I mentioned that we had recently bought a new furnace, air conditioner, increased the amount of insulation in our attic area and had our front porch repaved. We just were not going to have enough left over for any stock purchases this year. Two weeks ago his boss called and started the hard sell, after I had explained to his colleague why we were not investing. He was not taking NO for an answer. When I explained to him the same thing I explained to his colleague, he became defensive and said that he had home costs too, but he still invested in the stock market. So, he called me a name and hung up. After that conversation I don’t think I would want to do business with someone like that anyway. I guess some people just can’t take NO for an answer, Susan. But a great word. Take care.” – “Warrior” Joe

No – used to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis, or disagreement.

Do you have a problem saying NO to someone? Does it bother you when you’re told NO? Does the word NO make you want to get your way all the more?

To follow up on my selfish theme this seemed most appropriate. Sarita Maybin, my good friend and fellow speaker had this to say in her last “What Do You Say Communique.”’

Say NO Nicely

My favorite ways to say NO fall into the three categories below. Choose the phrases–or a combination of phrases–that work best for you!   (Note:  Avoid making excuses)

1. Compliment + NO

“I appreciate your thinking of me; however I’m going to opt out.”

“Thanks for the opportunity; however I’m not able to pursue it.”

“This sounds like a great project, yet I won’t be able to participate.

“I’m flattered that you’d ask me out, but I’m going to pass.”

“Thank you, but my plate is full.”

2. Empathy + NO

“I know you need help with this, however I’m not available.”

“I wish I could assist you, however I’m not able to.”

“I’m not able to attend, but would love to help in another way.”

“I know you’re swamped with work, unfortunately I’m not able to help.”

“You’ve worked hard on this committee; however I won’t be able to join.”

3. “Choose” to say No

“I’ve chosen to pass on that offer.”

“That’s not on my radar right now.”

“That doesn’t work for me.”

“I’m not feelin’ it.”

“It’s not calling me.”

(By the way, category #3 also works well when someone replies with WHY!???  You say:   “That just doesn’t work for me.”  or “I’m just not feelin’ it.”)

Guilt-Free YES

If you must say YES, do it without guilt…set conditions and parameters that work for you!

“I’d be happy to get that info to you, if can wait until tomorrow”

“Boss, I’d love to get that project done for you.  Please let me know its priority in relation to the other assignments”

“I’ll get that done for you as soon as I finish what I’m working on.”

This week think about saying NO nicely. How comfortable is it for you to say NO? How many times have you wished you said NO and didn’t? Do you say NO more times than you say YES?