WOW Word-Of-the-Week #321: NO
November 10, 2010 by Susan Clarke
NO – used to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis, or disagreement.
Do you have a problem saying NO to someone? Does it bother you when you’re told NO? Does the word NO make you want to get your way all the more?
To follow up on my selfish theme this seemed most appropriate. Sarita Maybin, my good friend and fellow speaker had this to say in her last “What Do You Say Communique.”’
Say NO Nicely
My favorite ways to say NO fall into the three categories below. Choose the phrases–or a combination of phrases–that work best for you! (Note: Avoid making excuses)
1. Compliment + NO
“I appreciate your thinking of me; however I’m going to opt out.”
“Thanks for the opportunity; however I’m not able to pursue it.”
“This sounds like a great project, yet I won’t be able to participate.
“I’m flattered that you’d ask me out, but I’m going to pass.”
“Thank you, but my plate is full.”
2. Empathy + NO
“I know you need help with this, however I’m not available.”
“I wish I could assist you, however I’m not able to.”
“I’m not able to attend, but would love to help in another way.”
“I know you’re swamped with work, unfortunately I’m not able to help.”
“You’ve worked hard on this committee; however I won’t be able to join.”
3. “Choose” to say NO
“I’ve chosen to pass on that offer.”
“That’s not on my radar right now.”
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I’m not feelin’ it.”
“It’s not calling me.”
(By the way, category #3 also works well when someone replies with WHY!??? You say: “That just doesn’t work for me.” or “I’m just not feelin’ it.”)
Guilt-Free YES
If you must say YES, do it without guilt…set conditions and parameters that work for you!
“I’d be happy to get that info to you, if can wait until tomorrow”
“Boss, I’d love to get that project done for you. Please let me know its priority in relation to the other assignments”
“I’ll get that done for you as soon as I finish what I’m working on.”
This week think about saying NO nicely. How comfortable is it for you to say NO? How many times have you wished you said NO and didn’t? Do you say NO more times than you say YES?
Reader Responses
“I loved this week’s advice!! I am going to practice it in my personal life!!” – Hugs, Katie
“In the short time I have walked this planet I have learned that NO is a GOOD word. I have used it a number of times with my daughters, especially my older girl. Now, I have told her that in a number of instances when she wants something, we will tell her YES. But the times we say NO, there is a reason. She has fussed, cried and complained, but each time she has been able to get over it. I have found that saying NO is also a commitment. There are times when people will waffle between YES and NO and not commit to one. That drives people crazier than if someone would JUST SAY NO! When a person says NO (and means it), the other person is able to move on without having to wonder if there was a commitment. I think it is the INDECISION of people that makes others crazy. I received a phone call several weeks ago from a financial broker in New York who wanted me to buy some stock he was promoting. I told him that my wife and I were committing our discretionary income to our home this year instead of the stock market. I mentioned that we had recently bought a new furnace, air conditioner, increased the amount of insulation in our attic area and had our front porch repaved. We just were not going to have enough left over for any stock purchases this year. Two weeks ago his boss called and started the hard sell, after I had explained to his colleague why we were not investing. He was not taking NO for an answer. When I explained to him the same thing I explained to his colleague, he became defensive and said that he had home costs too, but he still invested in the stock market. So, he called me a name and hung up. After that conversation I don’t think I would want to do business with someone like that anyway. I guess some people just can’t take NO for an answer, Susan. But a great word. Take care.” – “Warrior” Joe
No – used to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis, or disagreement.
Do you have a problem saying NO to someone? Does it bother you when you’re told NO? Does the word NO make you want to get your way all the more?
To follow up on my selfish theme this seemed most appropriate. Sarita Maybin, my good friend and fellow speaker had this to say in her last “What Do You Say Communique.”’
Say NO Nicely
My favorite ways to say NO fall into the three categories below. Choose the phrases–or a combination of phrases–that work best for you! (Note: Avoid making excuses)
1. Compliment + NO
“I appreciate your thinking of me; however I’m going to opt out.”
“Thanks for the opportunity; however I’m not able to pursue it.”
“This sounds like a great project, yet I won’t be able to participate.
“I’m flattered that you’d ask me out, but I’m going to pass.”
“Thank you, but my plate is full.”
2. Empathy + NO
“I know you need help with this, however I’m not available.”
“I wish I could assist you, however I’m not able to.”
“I’m not able to attend, but would love to help in another way.”
“I know you’re swamped with work, unfortunately I’m not able to help.”
“You’ve worked hard on this committee; however I won’t be able to join.”
3. “Choose” to say No
“I’ve chosen to pass on that offer.”
“That’s not on my radar right now.”
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I’m not feelin’ it.”
“It’s not calling me.”
(By the way, category #3 also works well when someone replies with WHY!??? You say: “That just doesn’t work for me.” or “I’m just not feelin’ it.”)
Guilt-Free YES
If you must say YES, do it without guilt…set conditions and parameters that work for you!
“I’d be happy to get that info to you, if can wait until tomorrow”
“Boss, I’d love to get that project done for you. Please let me know its priority in relation to the other assignments”
“I’ll get that done for you as soon as I finish what I’m working on.”
This week think about saying NO nicely. How comfortable is it for you to say NO? How many times have you wished you said NO and didn’t? Do you say NO more times than you say YES?