Word-Of-the-Week #2024: Choices
March 26, 2026 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2024: Choices
Choices – what we make consciously or unconsciously every day.
Are you living a life that is true to yourself and not what others expect of you? Do you have the courage to express your feelings?
This week features the “Top Five Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware from the “Points to Ponder” section from Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor.
“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. I was with them for the last few weeks of their lives, We shared some incredibly special and intimate times.
People grow a lot when they’re faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.
As expected, each experienced a variety of emotions: denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually, acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about regrets they had or anything they wished they would have done differently, these five common themes surfaced again and again:
- I Wish I’d Had the Courage to Live A Life True to Myself, Not the Life Others Expected of Me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it’s easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people hadn’t honored even a half of their dreams and died knowing this was due to choices they’d made … or not made.
It’s very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. The moment you lose your health, it’s too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize until they no longer have it.
- I Wish I Didn’t Work So Hard.
This came from every male patient I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it’s possible to not need the income you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
- I Wish I’d Had the Courage to Express My Feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We can’t control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a new and healthier level … or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
- I Wish I’d Stayed in Touch with My Friends.
Often they wouldn’t truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they’d let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they’re dying.
It’s common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you’re faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But money or status don’t hold the true importance for them.
They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they’re too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That’s all that remains in the final weeks: love and relationships.
- I Wish I’d Let Myself Be Happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many didn’t realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They’d stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called “comfort” of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you’re on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you’re physically dying.
Life is a choice. It’s YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
This week’s focus is on choices. Are you spending more time at work or with your family? Are you keeping in contact with your friends? If you were told you only had 6 months to live, would you live your life any differently?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1005: Choices
November 9, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1005: Choices
Choices – acts of picking or deciding between possibilities.
Do you believe in the axiom that life is 10% about what happens to you, good and bad, and 90% about how you choose to react to what happens to you? Are you afraid to take chances or explore new opportunities?
This week features Phil Blair, San Diego UT writer and co-founder of Manpower Staffing, “Good luck, positive attitude comes to those who create it.”
“I believe that much of what happens in our lives is the product of sheer chance, the result of larger, unpredictable forces colliding to create circumstances that shape and direct our lives.
Like luck.
If you think you’re lucky, you probably are. And if you think you are unlucky, you probably are. Years ago, Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”
Attitude matters, especially when you’re interviewing for your next opportunity. Negativity about yourself in any setting comes through loud and clear, and it never helps.
I have limited patience with job-seekers who come to me and complain about all the bad luck they’ve had to deal with, blaming that on why they can’t seem to get hired.
It’s so obvious in an interview when the applicant gives the impression that they know they’re not going to get hired. That’s when the pity party starts and doesn’t end. You can tell they just want to get the interview over.
It’s as if they say, “No one has hired me yet, and I know you’re not going to hire me, so let’s get this over as fast as we can.”
Believe me, these kinds of negative thoughts and emotions will adversely impact both your career and your personal life for a long time.
- How you choose to react to what happens to you
I’m also a believer in the axiom that life is 10% about what happens to you, good and bad, and 90% about how you choose to react to what happens to you.
I thrive around positive, upbeat people, those who view their proverbial glass as half-full, even running over the top. That’s how they approach bumps in the road.
These are my favorite “lucky” people, those who have positive things to say about themselves. They’re naturally more happy than sad. They tend to laugh at themselves. They don’t take themselves too seriously.
They’re not afraid to take chances or explore new opportunities. They tend to be healthy and have plenty of friends. They’re ambitious, confident, creative, curious, fun to be around.
More often than not, they’re successful.
Another trait of these “lucky” people is that they’re rarely critical or envious of others’ success. They’re forgiving of weaknesses or flaws or mistakes, including their own. They generally go out of their way to find the positive in any situation.
Maybe that sounds too Pollyannaish.
But through my own life’s ups and downs, thankfully many more ups, two prevailing tenets have guided my view of the world:
– Whatever happens to you, make it work for you. When something goes wrong, don’t blame others. And try not to blame yourself too much.
– Try to get through each day by making smart, focused decisions, large and small, that lead to positive outcomes. Soon enough, they’ll add up.
- You’re either working or looking to get hired
Generally speaking, it’s said that only 40% of workers enjoy what they do for a living. They rise and shine each morning, do whatever it is they do and they usually come home feeling like they’ve done something worthwhile.
The flip side of the workaday grind isn’t so appealing. Anger. Resentment. Conflict. Blame. Shame. Drudgery. Every day like the next, with no end in sight.
It’s all about getting that paycheck, and the weekend can’t come fast enough.
Since about half of our waking lives are spent working, I believe it’s paramount that what we do for a living, how we earn a living, and how we feel about what we do five days a week, 40 hours a week — sometimes less, often more — is something we truly enjoy.
At least most of the time.
Looking ahead, I want you to be able to say that your career was a great achievement, maybe the greatest of your life. And that you did everything you could to make it that way.
Because there’s nothing else besides working for a living that provides as many financial rewards and as much security, and also imbues us with a greater sense of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment.
And if you’re as lucky as I’ve been, enjoyment.
This week is all about choices. Do you truly enjoy what you do for a living most of the time? Are you forgiving of weaknesses or flaws or mistakes, including your own? Are you ambitious, confident, creative, curious, fun to be around?
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WOW Word-Of-the-Week #295: Choices
April 3, 2010 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #295: Choices
Choices – what we do consciously or unconsciously every day.
Do you choose to be in control of your life every day? Do you feel you make good choices?
This week my computer crashed. So I had to make a choice about being upset or letting it go. I had been keeping my website up to date when I had internet. I had my WOW ready to go. All of which I no longer have access to. And then along comes this wonderful email from Steve Straus who sends out S T E V E ‘ S….3 – M I NU T E….C O A C H I N G
Today’s Topic – PRINCIPLE: Choices (Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)
You can either make your own choices or let someone else make them for you. It’s your choice!
Of course there are times when it’s useful to let someone else make choices for you — when they have more expertise, when they have more time, or when they need to learn something new by making a choice and experiencing the result. But that is not what this Principle is about.
The issue is do you see yourself as always being at choice, always in charge of your life? Or do you feel constrained, unable to be free to choose? If it’s the latter, you might want to ask yourself why that is so.
Choose to live free. Choose to always be at choice.
Coaching Point: What’s a great choice you made recently?
Well for me, I was referred to a travel agent from San Diego who has lived in Thailand for the last 12 years. And that was a very smart choice as this has been a great trip so far. This week I hope you take Steve’s advice and choose to live free and be at choice.
If you want to subscribe go to www.StrausUSA.com/subscribe.htm then enter your email address.
Reader Responses
“This is a great tone. Do you mind sharing the THAILAND travel agent information? I want to do a trip to Thailand for my honeymoon and would love some guidance! Thank you” – Jenna
Word Of the Week #4: Choices
April 20, 2009 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word Of the Week #4: Choices
Choices: the voluntary and deliberate act of choosing.
You make choices everyday, some of them consciously and some unconsciously! If there is something that is not working in your life, then you can choose to make to make it different.
San Diego Sailing Buddies
I find a lot of people would rather complain or ignore the things that are not working, rather than take the action to create what they do want.
For example, if your job or your relationships are not as fun as they used to be, what can you choose to do to change that? If you are in the wrong job, then you can choose to find another one. If you have relationships that are strained, then ask yourself, “What can I choose to do to create a different outcome?”
Think about the conscious choices you make this week and how it makes you feel and the affect it has on those people around you.
Reader Responses
“Another great word – choices! I truly believe that our lives are governed by the choices we make. Granted, things do happen that are out of our control, but for the most part, our choices (or lack of them) determine who we are and where we go in life. For every action, there is a consequence – good or bad. Too many people prefer to blame everyone or everything else for the consequences in their lives rather than take responsibility for their choices.” — Terry L. Green
“Unbeknownst to you, I have taken your advice. I chose to resign my position at the Club and seek a new job. I was terribly unhappy. You can only beat a dog so many times before he runs away! Thanks for the advice.” — Andy
“I love these Susan! keep them coming. I look forward to these, they encourage me and help me to look at my innerself, to make any necessary adjustments to make everyday a better day.
I feel fortunate that I attended the Women’s conference, because I feel like I brought something with me.” — Brenda Moreno
The FUN-damentals of Attitude: How to Turn a Positive Attitude into Positive Results
March 28, 2009 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on The FUN-damentals of Attitude: How to Turn a Positive Attitude into Positive Results
In today’s world, having a positive attitude is often given as a secret to success, but how do you get it, hang onto it, and spread the fever to others? In this practical and pragmatic program, Susan Clarke shares with you how to remain upbeat to achieve your desired results.
Practical, Action-Oriented Steps
While many speakers simply talk in platitudes, Susan uses her trademarked humor and frankness to actually take you on a step-by-step journey towards changing your behavior. She first provides you with the tools to understand yourself. Then, she gives you the tools so that you can understand others. You walk away with proven ideas that will help you achieve your relationship goals with colleagues, superiors, family, and friends.
Shifting Attitudes Leads to Positive Latitude
The power of a positive attitude affords you maximum flexibility – you can adapt, change, and even evolve so that you can respond appropriately. And, with a new positive attitude, you can expect to:
- Enjoy your work environment more thoroughly as you laugh and find the humor in everyday rituals;
- Achieve a higher degree of team work and cooperation from colleagues;
- Appreciate the differences and idiosyncrasies of family members, close friends, and life partners.
- Realize work, personal, and relationship goals.
Long-Lasting Results
Susan Clarke’s programs stay with you long after the laughter has subsided. In fact, you’ll notice that once you start implementing your new tools, you’ll be in a better mood today and for many tomorrows.
Attitude is all about choice… make the decision today to have Susan help you change the way you think!