Word-Of-the-Week #860: Clarity
January 28, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #860: Clarity
Clarity – the state or quality of being clear minded; lucidity.
Do you remember the song by Johnny Nash, “I Can See Clearly Now?” Did you ever feel like me…that during 2020 there were times you questioned your thoughts and feelings about the world around you and the people in it?
The past week feels as if the fog and rain of 2020 is clearing. Like Johnny sings…
“I can see clearly now. The rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day.
I think I can make it now; the pain is gone.
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for.
Look all around, there’s nothing but blue skies.
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue skies.”
What has come up for me are the little red flags. “I can see clearly now.” At first you see one or two. And then they kind of grow a little bit bigger. But then over the course of time, there are more that pop up, and just a little bit bigger. Until one day you realize they are no longer red flags. They’ve turned into a BIG RED BANNER! Like the kind you see flapping in the wind trailing behind the tail of a Cessna 150 airplane over the stadium or along the shoreline.
The worst is when they turn into the Goodyear Blimp! I don’t know about you, but for me they just aren’t acceptable anymore. I’m going for surrounding myself with people who bring me “bright sunshiny days.”
This week’s focus is on clarity. Do you have any red flags that have now turned into banners? How would it feel too not be blind to them anymore? What would a “bright sunshiny day” look like to you?
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Word-Of-the-Week #859: Diversion
January 21, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #859: Diversion
Diversion – something that distracts the mind and relaxes or entertains.
Have you created any diversions to help relieve COVID fatigue? Have you started any projects with the extra time? Or have you taken up any new hobbies?
This is the word that came to me this week because I realized that I LOVE having a project because it creates a diversion that distracts my mind from all the craziness.
I enjoyed all the Christmas decorating and cooking and baking because it was a really nice diversion. When Chris asked, “Why are you going all out on decorating the house inside and out when we aren’t having our Annual Holiday Open House?” I replied, “I am doing it for me! And we’re going to have a couple of neighbors over for a couple of dinners.”
I started decorating as soon as I put the Halloween ones away. That gave me plenty of time to do it at my leisure which is the way I like it. No stress to hurry to finish! Then we spent a week taking it all down. I was so glad I did it because it created a different scenery and was a nice change.
And then my friend Sade (and former foster youth) told me she wanted to redecorate her home! I was so excited to be able to help her with paint color, drapes, and fabric. It’s a work in progress and the new look feels so relaxing and inviting. Just painting a couple of accent walls made a major difference.
I have spent the last 10 months having self-distancing lunches and walks on the beach and along the waterfront, playing golf, and now I am working on purging paper in my office! Cleaning out 
closets and organizing has been another great diversion. It feels so great!
I was also very grateful to get a short trip up the coast in October to Santa Barbara, Cambria, and Paso Robles. It totally took my mind off the pandemic for a just a bit. That is one of the reasons I LOVE to travel because it causes me to focus on being “in the present.”
Many of my friends have chosen to learn how to cook more healthy foods, bake sourdough bread, speak a new language, grow a garden, create art projects, and have started new exercise regimes. All of these are great diversions that distract our minds and are both relaxing and entertaining. Plus they give us a sense of accomplishment.
And as I write this, our new president has been sworn in and that creates a new diversion about the positive things sure to come in this new year!
This week’s focus is on creating a diversion. What things have you done this past year to distract your mind? What do you want to do that will create a feeling of relaxation? What are you doing for entertainment?
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Word-Of-the-Week #858: Grateful
January 14, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #858: Grateful
Grateful – warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful.
Have you thanked your family and friends for the gifts or treats you received over the holidays? Did anyone thank you for yours? How did that make you feel?
This week features excerpts the San Diego UT by Sandi Dolbee, “Celebrating the power of these two words: Thank you.” Researchers have found that saying those two, single-syllable words can yield big rewards in our spiritual and physical health.
“Saying “thank you” is good for you.
Seriously, good for you.
In study after study, from here to Tel Aviv, researchers have found that saying those two, single-syllable words can yield big rewards in our spiritual and physical health.
In one project, participants were put into two groups, with one group asked to write about things they were grateful for and the other asked to keep track of the irritations they encountered. After 10 weeks, the folks in the first group were not only more optimistic but actually had fewer visits to their doctors.
Another study found partners who expressed their thanks to each other had healthier relationships.
And a UCSD study of patients with asymptomatic heart failure found that those who had higher gratitude scores, using a six-item scale, were associated with better sleep, more energy and even lower levels of inflammation, which can worsen heart failure.
Part of the upside can be explained this way: Saying and hearing thank you causes the brain to release feel-good neurotransmitters responsible for our emotions.
But here’s the curious part: a national survey funded some years back by the John Templeton Foundation found that while most of us know how important gratitude is, we do a lousy job of actually thanking people. As the findings put it, “A significant gratitude gap exists in America.”
The Rev. Reginald Gary doesn’t have to be convinced. Gary, who has been senior pastor of New Creation Church of San Diego for 25 years, believes this painless phrase is “vitally important” to our mental stability and to doing good in the world.
“I think one of the reasons we have so much anger and grief in the world is that people don’t feel appreciated, affirmed and celebrated — and the two simple words ‘thank you’ does so much more than you can ever know,” he says.
Gary thinks saying it and hearing it motivates us to do keep doing good deeds. “It’s one of the best things you can hear.”
So why don’t we express it more often?
“I think some people have different levels of gratitude,” Gary tells me. “They think what you’ve done for them is something you’re obligated to do for them.” He’s seen it first-hand. “There have been times in my life and ministry that I’ve done things for people and they have just taken it and gone, with never a word of thanks.”
“I think you lead by example,” he says. He advocates teaching children to say it just as soon as they are able to talk. He remembers feeding his now-grown children when they were in highchairs. When they were done eating, he’d remind them to say thank you to he or his wife. “So now it’s just automatic.”
He says “thank you” for both what he has and what he’s been spared. As he puts it: “The key is to be thankful for all the things that make you smile but also be thankful that you don’t have a lot of things that make you frown.”
“If you know anything at all about the science of happiness, you know that gratitude is great for our wellbeing,” writes columnist Jessica Stillman in Inc. Magazine. “It rewires your brain for positivity, boosts your energy levels and if your thankfulness is directed at someone else, makes the receiving party feel great.”
This New Year’s focus is on being grateful and expressing it! How many times in the past month have you said “Thank You” to someone? Have you been able to feel thankful this past year even with all the craziness we have all experienced? Many people I know have expressed being grateful this past year for the unexpected things that have come their way!
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Word-Of-the-Week #857: Solution
January 7, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #857: Solution
Solution – the act or process of solving a problem.
How good are you at solving problems? Do you want to ignore them and hope they’ll just go away? Or are you willing to confront the problem and work at coming up with a solution?
This week brings another profound piece from long time friend and fellow speaker Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor.
No Whining
Those who have been with me for awhile know I’m a firm believer in having as few rules as possible. Standards, yes. Rules? Not so much. 
But there’s one rule I think is worth having and enforcing: No Whining. The policy might read something like this:
“It’s just a fact of life: there are always issues we need to address, and some people will get upset when these situations exist. The question is what you do about them. As the saying goes, “You’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem.”
When you see something needing correction, it’s your responsibility to bring it to the attention of someone who can fix it. When you do that, you’re being proactive and a supportive member of the team. You become are part of the solution.
However, if you see something in need of correction and you DON’T bring it to someone who can fix it — or worse yet, if you waste any time at all complaining about it to someone who CAN’T fix your problem — you’re working against the best interests of the company, your co-workers and ultimately, our guests. You’re just whining and making yourself part of the problem.
There are precious few issues beyond our collective power to resolve … but ignoring problems or whining about them only makes everyone’s work tougher. If you stay focused on finding solutions we’ll get along fine. But we don’t tolerate whining nor will we put up with anyone whose actions demonstrate they’re not part of the solution.
There will always be problems of one sort or another in a business like ours. How you deal with them is your choice to make. Choose wisely.”
This week’s focus is on being part of the solution. If a situation arises do you bring it to the attention of someone who can fix it? Or better yet do you work on coming up with a solution?
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