Word-Of-the-Week #1095: Procrastinate
August 14, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1095: Procrastinate
Procrastinate – to postpone or delay needlessly.
How often do you delay or put things off? Could it be that you actually want to maximize pleasure?
This week features the first half of “Why we procrastinate on joy, and how to stop,” by Richard Sima of The Washington Post
We may fall into a ‘trap’ of wanting something to feel special, which causes us to delay enjoying it now, research says
“Usually, when we think about procrastination, we think about delaying the hard, boring or unpleasant things in life — paying bills, doing laundry or meeting work deadlines. The bulk of scientific research focuses on why we delay pain, not pleasure.
But we can also put off things we enjoy — catching up with a friend we haven’t seen in a while, visiting a nearby attraction or opening that expensive bottle of wine.
A recent study published in the journal PNAS Nexus explored this hidden side of procrastination. And it found a surprising pattern — the longer we put off doing something we enjoy, the more likely we are to continue putting it off.
This may be because of the “psychological drama” we build up around the experience, suggested Ed O’Brien, the study’s author and an associate professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.
It’s as if we believe that our first time back to, say, a favorite restaurant or reconnecting with a friend “shouldn’t be wasted. It should be kind of momentous and important and really matter to me,” he said.
We procrastinate not because of the cost or difficulty of doing something, but because we want to maximize the pleasure and specialness when it arrives.
But by doing so, we risk waiting in vain for a moment that may never come.
The research suggests that it’s a cognitive “trap” we can fall into where “people are missing out on lots of immediate happiness and lots of immediate enjoyment,” O’Brien said.
- Waiting on joy
Ironically, the researchers had been putting off this project on procrastination — until the coronavirus pandemic provided an unexpected natural experiment.
With many enjoyable activities — going to restaurants, theaters and parties; travel; and visiting family — on pause, the researchers could see how long it took people to jump back in once they deemed it safe to do so.
O’Brien and a colleague asked 500 adults: How long was it since you got to enjoy each of these activities?
Then they asked: Did you return to that activity as soon as you thought it was safe, available and attractive? Or did you delay?
Surprisingly, the longer participants reported not being able to do something, the more likely they were to wait even more.
“Once restaurants were back open and they felt safe and comfortable … they actually waited even longer because they didn’t want their first time back to a restaurant to just be on a random Tuesday without a good crowd,” O’Brien said. “They were waiting for the perfect time to celebrate that coming back moment. So, ironically, they waited even longer.”
A long gap seems to precede an even longer gap.
The same pattern held for something more ordinary: reaching out to a friend.
In one experiment, the researchers asked 200 participants to think about a close friend they had communicated with recently (a short gap) or one they had communicated with some time back (a long gap).
Then, the participants were asked to choose what they wanted to do with their time in the laboratory: text that close friend or transcribe nonsense text — a purposefully mundane task.
In theory, texting a friend should have both been easier and more fun.
But the longer the gap, the more people hesitated and opted to do the boring task instead.
There appeared to be immediate negative consequences: After the experiment, participants who chose not to text the friend reported being less happy, probably because they did something boring instead.
Even when the researchers controlled for different confounding factors in another experiment, involving 1,000 participants — making sure that the friends were equally close and that there was no social anxiety or fear of social rejection — people persisted in procrastinating when there was a long gap, even when it would have been enjoyable.
Why do we procrastinate doing things we enjoy?
The new research suggests that people delay enjoyable experiences to maximize the benefits and avoid “spoiling the moment,” O’Brien said.
This week’s focus is on procrastination. Are you missing out on lots of immediate happiness and lots of immediate enjoyment because of it? Is it because you are afraid of not being able to make it perfect?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1094: Abilities
August 7, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1094: Abilities
Abilities – possession of the qualities required to do something.
Do you realize what you focus on will expand? Like the saying, “What goes around, comes around.”
Once again, Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought-provoking piece!
Principle: Abilities
(Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)
Driving home from the gym this morning I was behind a service van for a not-for-profit organization. Their slogan/motto/theme was painted in big letters –
“Abilities Outweigh Disabilities.”
So simple. So true. But.
When we focus on the disabilities – those of our own or those we perceive in others – we see more of them. The effect is we are blocked /constrained/limited by our disabilities. The old saying is, “what you focus on expands.”
Your abilities? They are myriad, multifaceted, and meaningful. When abilities are focused upon there is no room for victim. No room for ‘I can’t.’ When abilities are ascendant possibilities grow. Truly, what you focus on expands.
Coaching Point: Do you know, acknowledge, and celebrate your abilities?
See all past issues and subscribe here Steve’s 3-Minute Coaching
Copyright © 2025 Steve Straus, All rights reserved.
This week’s is all about your abilities. What are you focusing on? Are you feeling blocked or are you expanding?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1093: Deserve
July 31, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1093: Deserve
Deserve – to be worthy of, merit.
Have you ever felt that you were being taken advantage of? Did you speak up for yourself?
This week features another great WOW from Sam Horn.
ANECDOTE
When I was younger, I was excited to accept a job working with Sandy Bremer, Founder of Open University.
I agreed to a salary that was less than half of what I had been making working in the tennis industry under Rod Laver. But I believed in the mission, loved the work, and thought I would soon get a raise as a result of my hustle and active role in boosting revenue.
Well, three months went by. Then six months. I was working long hours, coming up with new course ideas, and writing copy that was increasing registrations.
After a year, I felt like I was being taken advantage of. I wasn’t getting paid what I thought I was worth. I was even considering leaving a job I loved because I felt it was so unfair.
I finally decided to speak up for myself. I stormed into Sandy’s office (forgive me, I was young), pounded my fist on her desk, and said, “I think I deserve a raise.”
She looked at me calmly and said, “You’re right, you do. I was wondering when you were going to have the courage to come in and ask for it.”
Sandy was right. It was not her responsibility to give me a raise. It was my responsibility to ask for one if I thought I earned it and if I had evidence of the bottom-line value I had added.
I’m grateful to Sandy, for many things. She was a wonderful boss who taught me a lot, including that it is up to us to ask for what we deserve. After all, if we don’t ask, the answer’s always no.
ACTION
- How about you? Are you in a situation where you feel you’re not getting what you deserve?
- Are you waiting for someone to initiate on your behalf? If so, you may be waiting a long time.
- This is your reminder that happiness is in our hands. If we don’t like what’s happening, it’s up to us to do something about it.
- What is one thing you can do today to change your world for the better?
This week’s focus is about getting what you deserve. Have you ever left a job because you were treated unfairly and deserved better? How comfortable would it feel for you to ask for what you deserve?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1092: Debauchery
July 24, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1092: Debauchery
Debauchery – extreme indulgence in sensual pleasures.
Today is the 21st anniversary of my WOW! I chose this from my archives back in 2012. It is unbelievable how fast time flies!
How many times have you seen this word? I always wondered what it meant, and this week’s WOW is courtesy of Rick Steves. We like his travel books and this past week we were in Pamplona for the Running of the Bulls.
Steve writes, “For nine days each July, a million visitors pack into Pamplona to watch a gang of reckless, sangria-fueled adventurers thrust themselves into the path of an oncoming herd of furious bulls. Locals call it El Encierro (literally the enclosing, as in taking the beasts to be enclosed in the bull ring.)”
“The festival begins at City Hall at noon on July 6, with various events filling the next nine days and nights. Originally celebrated as the feast of San Fermin – who is still honored by a religious procession through town on July 7 – it has since evolved into a full slate of live music, fireworks, general revelry, and an excuse for debauchery. After dark the town erupts into a rollicking party scene.”
The Running of the Bulls takes place each morning at 8 am. Six Bulls charge down the street with a few steers to keep them together in a group. Their destination is the bull ring where they will participate in that evening’s bull fight.
We chose to go on the last day as we were told it was “more authentic.” It’s also 30% cheaper if you go the last 4 days. Pablo is a retired bull fighter from Spain who now lives in San Diego. When he asked if I was going to go to the bull fight, my immediate response was, “No.” He said, “You really should experience it.” And so we did go, but we didn’t stay for the whole event. The matadors were quite graceful and beautiful to watch. The bull really has no chance.
We met a couple from Louisiana who said, “This is Mardi Gras on steroids.” And I have to say the debauchery was very civilized for the most part. In Spain inebriation is acceptable. Obscene gestures or behavior are not. The Spanish people are very cultured, nice and FUN!
Here’s to having more civilized debauchery in our travels!
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Word-Of-the-Week #1091: Attraction
July 17, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1091: Attraction
Attraction – the magnetic power of the Universe that draws similar energies together.
How lucky are you? How much of it are you creating? Are you fully engaged and aware with what is going on around you?
Once again, Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought-provoking piece!
Distinction: Attract vs. Make Happen
(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)
“There is plenty of satisfaction to be received from making things happen. You can get your emotional needs met, accomplish meaningful outcomes, prove your self-worth, and stand out from the pack by bowing your back and taking up the slack! Woo-Hoo! I made it happen! I’m a winner!
On the other hand, we also can be people who have things simply show up, seemingly by magic. You know the people I’m referencing. They’re ‘lucky,’ ‘in the right place at the right time,’ ‘the chosen ones,’ and such. We look at them with either awe or disdain.
Beyond merely lucky what they are is – in the flow of their life. They resonate with the flow. In harmony. And most importantly they have removed the obstacles to experiencing that flow.
The other folks who are busy making things happen are doing so by efforting over their own hurdles.
Keep in mind that people who attract may also be very busy dawn-till-dark workers. They are engaged. Attraction is not passive. And people who attract what they want also use what they attract. That’s why they attract it. It fits into and supports the flow of their journey.
Coaching Point: What are you attracting?”
See all past issues and subscribe here Steve’s 3-Minute Coaching
Copyright © 2025 Steve Straus, All rights reserved.
This week’s focus is on attraction. Are you one of those people who just seems to always be “in the right place at the right time”? Are you in harmony and fully experiencing the flow of your life? Are you attracting positive things in your life?
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