Word-Of-the-Week #2007: Intelligent
November 6, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2007: Intelligent
Intelligent – having the capacity for thought and reason especially to a high degree.
Do you largely dislike small talk? And prefer having close friends that you create meaningful relationships with?
This week features the first part from Zayda Slabbekoorn at YourTango.com, “11 Signs You Have A Complex Mind That Thinks Completely Differently Than Normal People.
Are you more intelligent than you give yourself credit for?”
“Intelligent people often seek mental stimulation, diving deeper into abstract topics, exploring novel realms, and leaning into the innovation of new ideas. According to a study from Neuropsychologia, intelligence is related to flexibility — the ability to connect unrelated information and quickly dive into complex topics. Another from Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience suggests that, on a fundamental level, an intelligent person’s brain even responds deeply to sensory stimuli on a deeper level.
There are many signs you have a complex mind that thinks completely differently than normal people, even if your habits and behaviors are subtle and unsuspecting amid the chaos of everyday life. Even the more obvious ones, like being a critical thinker, are beneficial to your success, productivity, and intelligence — so don’t take this complexity for granted, even if it feels like a burden at times.
Here are the first 3 signs you have a complex mind that thinks completely differently than normal people
- You crave meaningful connections
While intelligent people do often have a higher level of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and basic social understanding in conversation, according to a study from Intelligence, they largely dislike small talk. In some cases, it’s necessary to build a foundation for the deep, meaningful connection they’re yearning for, but in others, it feels mindless, superficial, and draining.
Especially for introverted deep thinkers who appreciate their introspection and often only indulge in social interaction with people they love, appreciate, and trust deeply, these interactions can be quickly draining. So, if you yearn for close friends and often find yourself avoiding small talk when it’s possible, it’s not because you’re struggling with social skills, but maybe because you’re a deep thinker inside.
- You have a unique thought process
While the average person, or one of lesser intelligence, often thinks in “black and white” terms — following a linear progression from start to end — a deep thinker’s mind is a constant myriad of a million things. They don’t necessarily think in a straight line, but instead blend personal insight, emotion, logic, observations, and intuition into all of their conflict- and problem-resolution strategies.
While it may take some discipline to contain and control in rigid institutions like the workplace, this kind of innovative, deep thinking is often in short supply — and can be incredibly valuable for the right person. So, even if it feels like a gift and a curse sometimes to be a deep thinker — diving deeply into problems, issues, and other people, even when it feels like nobody else cares — it’s a superpower when used with diligence.
- You analyze yourself
Self-reflection and introspection are all signs that you have a complex mind that thinks differently than normal people. While it may take decades of practice for the average person to recognize their patterns and reflect on their mistakes, the preference for solitude and emotional intelligence of a deep thinker allows for it, often in the present moment.
Especially when self-reflection in daily life revolves around feelings of frustration, failure, or surprise, which are often uncomfortable and repressed by the average person, they can be even more powerful for deep thinkers to “level up” in environments like the workplace.
This week’s focus is on being intelligent. Do you want to only indulge in social interaction with people you love, appreciate, and trust deeply? Are you a deep thinker diving into issues, problems, or other people? How often do you analyze yourself?
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Word-Of-the-Week #2006: Joy
October 30, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2006: Joy
Joy – a deep feeling of happiness or contentment.
When was the last time you had a deep feeling of happiness or contentment? How often does it happen?
This week features Nia Tipton from YourTango.com, “People Who Are Genuinely Content With Their Lives Usually Have These 3 Simple Habits, Says A Philosopher.”
Even in the face of hard times, these simple habits can bring some joy back to your life.
“With the state of the world leaving many people feeling hopeless, it can be hard for anyone to find a semblance of peace in their day-to-day lives. We’re certainly trying to stay optimistic, but it truly does feel like a waiting game. When will things finally start to feel okay again?
A philosopher named Diego Perez admitted that, despite the hardships affecting the majority of people, not only in this country but around the world, there are still certain habits you can prioritize to find joy. During an interview with author and podcast host Mel Robbins, Perez listed some of those habits.
People who are genuinely content with their lives usually have these 3 simple habits:
- They are grateful for the little things
It might sound incredibly cliché, but being grateful really does bring happiness into your life. When you’re actually making a conscious effort to notice the small, yet still beautiful things, like being able to grab breakfast with a friend on a Sunday morning, or even something as simple as going to an exercise class after a long day of work, your whole perspective can change.
Being able to feel gratitude for these little moments means being able to acknowledge that the hard times don’t mean that there can’t be good ones as well. This simple habit can change your mindset. The lows might be low, but the highs are just as important to celebrate.
“Once our attention moves from ‘making it ‘ to survival, we learn the difference between what is important and what we’ve just been doing to fill our time or feel successful. We remember to take in the beauty of a sunrise or truly appreciate and trust the love of another human being,” pointed out licensed psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith.
- They notice when their nervous system is overwhelmed
Perez insisted that those who are content with their lives not only are able to observe when their nervous system might be on edge more than usual, but also respond appropriately. Once they feel out of whack, they immediately start saying “no” to things that are causing them stress.
Rather than just pushing through, they recognize the tightness in their chest or the feeling that they can’t seem to calm their mind, and they take it as a sign to pause and slow down. It’s all about creating boundaries and balance that protect your energy.
They’re able to take breaks without feeling guilty or step back from people and situations that are draining. Being able to listen to your nervous system is really just about starting to listen to yourself and to what your needs are in that moment.
- They don’t hide their love
Perez encouraged people to always let their family and friends know how much they care about them, and that people who are usually content in life do this all the time. Life is too short to just assume that the people we know are already aware of how much we love them. But the truth is, no one ever gets tired of being reminded.
“Expressing your feelings can be a form of intimacy that enhances relationships when it’s done in the context of a close relationship. Verbalizing your caring is a way of deepening your connection,” explained psychologist Karyn Hall.
Given the number of people who might be scared to be vulnerable, the happiest people don’t let their ego or fear of rejection get in the way of nurturing the connections in their lives. When you finally allow yourself to be open and honest with the people you hold dear, you might be surprised how much better (and happier) you end up feeling.
In September 2023 I took a trip to Chicago (where I lived in the 1980’s) with my niece. We had such a great time and when I got home, I was filled with so much joy! And I thought to myself, My Joy Jar is full!
So, that year my holiday gift to my special friends was a Joy Jar that I made. The concept is to fill it with experiences or thoughts that make you feel happy and joyful. It can be something little or something profound. Hopefully, you find at least one thing per day that makes you happy, write it down and put it into the jar. After a month, a few months, a year, or whenever you are feeling down and need a pick-me-up, pull out a note and read it and remember how it made you feel happy and joyful.
This week’s focus is on feeling joy. Are you grateful for the little things in life? How easy is it for you to say “no” to things that are causing you stress? Do you let your friends and family know how much you love them?
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Word-Of-the-Week #2005: Gaslighting
October 23, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2005: Gaslighting
Gaslighting – manipulating (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
Has anyone in your life ever made you doubt yourself? Do you trust your instincts and intuition?
Do you know who Betty Broderick is? We watched the Netflix miniseries and one expert witness claimed that her husband had been gaslighting her for years. Then I had a conversation with a neighbor who spoke about being gaslighted. That felt pretty eerie since it was in the same week!
So I chose this week to feature “What is Gaslighting? This type of psychological abuse leaves survivors questioning every memory they have.”
You’re overreacting. It wasn’t that bad.
You’re just being emotional.
That never happened—you’re imagining it.
Any of these accusations alone could drive a person crazy, but when they’re part of a regular barrage of criticism aimed at controlling an individual, they’re more than rude—they’re abusive.
Called “gaslighting,” this type of abuse uses statements like the above to create doubt in a person’s mind by making them think, basically, that they’re going insane, says Janie McMahan, licensed marriage and family therapist.
The name comes from a ‘30s play called Gas Light in which the main character attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights in their home, which were powered by gas, and then denies the lights are changing. (Then the movie version was released in 1944 with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer.)
This type of psychological abuse is part of the power and control found in domestic abuse, says McMahan. “Gaslighting makes [survivors] doubt themselves and not see the real issue, which is that they’re being abused.” It’s not uncommon that, after a while, a survivor will start to think, “Well, is this right? Am I really not justified in feeling this way?” says McMahan.
McMahan remembers sitting at dinner one night with a friend and her boyfriend, who was known to be emotionally abusive. “He called her ‘an f-ing bitch,’” remembers McMahan. When his girlfriend called him out on it, he replied earnestly with, “I didn’t say anything. You must be hearing things.”
Gaslighting is often found in conjunction with other types of abuse, such as physical or verbal. Abusers may try to convince the survivor that what they remember happening, in fact, never did. Or, abusers will ask their partners, “Why can’t you just get over it?”
McMahan says gaslighting may also come at the start of a relationship. Abusers want their partners to begin doubting themselves from the get-go. “They [survivors] begin thinking they’re a little bit ‘off,’ emotionally and mentally,” says McMahan. Essentially, they begin thinking they can’t trust their instincts. Their self-esteem can plummet. They feel less than the other person—less intelligent, less capable. McMahan says it can lead to the survivor not having a sense of self, believing they no longer have an identity or a voice. “It keeps them in these relationships,” McMahan says.
Lastly, know that gaslighting is a type of manipulation, says McMahan, and anyone can fall victim. “It happens across the board. It can happen to men and those in same sex relationships. Gaslighting is very subtle. It’s not until you’re pretty deep into it that you realize it.”
This week’s focus is looking for any signs of gaslighting. Has anyone in your life ever made you doubt yourself? Or told you that you overreact and/or are too emotional? Do you trust your instincts and intuition?
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Word-Of-the-Week #2004: Friendship
October 16, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2004: Friendship
Friendship – a relationship of mutual affection between people.
How good are you at maintaining contact with your friends? How does it make you feel when your friends reach out to you?
This week features another great WOW from Sam Horn.
ANECDOTE
A few months ago, I read an article in The Atlantic Daily about why it’s crucial to keep friendships at the top of our “to-do” list.
Mark Leibovich, their staff writer, wrote about a time he heard a song by a Grammy-winning artist and impulsively reached out to a friend he hadn’t seen since the pandemic, as they had previously discussed this person’s well-known dislike of dogs.
He said, “Great laughter ensued on both ends, and she thanked me for getting in touch.”
He concluded, “The exchange took less than a minute. The joy lasted longer.”
Yes to creating joy whenever and however we can.
You may agree in theory, but it can be challenging to do in reality.
Many of us are going, going, going from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed.
So it’s no surprise that friendships fall by the wayside.
But you’ve probably heard about the study from Harvard that reports after 85 years of research:
“The people who were happiest, who stayed healthiest, and who lived the longest were the people who had the warmest connections with others.”
Which is why I’m adopting this “I was just thinking of you” approach to staying in touch with people I care about.
Oftentimes, we think every connection needs to be a LONG phone call to report all that has happened since the last time we talked.
That assumption becomes a barrier to entry because – who has time for an hour-long phone call?
But we all have 2 minutes.
And those two minutes are a great way to “keep our friendships in repair” instead of ghosting the people we care about.
ACTION
- How about you… Have you let your friendships fall by the wayside because you’re “too busy?”
- Take two minutes right now to phone or text a friend. Feel free to take my approach and start the convo with “I was just thinking of you…”
- Make it a point to make one (or more) of these connections every day. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did – and I bet your friends will too!
This week’s focus is about your friendships. Have you let any friendships fall by the wayside? How would it feel to put friendships at the top of your “to-do” list?
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Word-Of-the-Week #2003: Belief
October 9, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #2003: Belief
Belief – something believed or accepted as true by a person.
Do you believe that there’s always something new you can learn? Or that there’s someone interesting to meet?
This week’s WOW is the last part of “Boomers who remain witty and sharp past 70 usually live by these 9 rules. A sharp mind past 70 isn’t guaranteed—but these 9 rules make all the difference, by Avery White at Vegoutmag.com
To Recap:
The difference between those who remain vibrant conversationalists at 75 and those who retreat into repetitive stories isn’t luck. It’s a collection of habits, attitudes, and deliberate choices that keep their minds flexible while their joints might not be. These rules aren’t complicated or expensive—they’re accessible to anyone willing to rethink what aging means for the brain.
- They treat curiosity like oxygen
- They collect experiences, not just memories
- They embrace technology without surrendering to it
- They maintain friendships across generations
- They laugh at themselves first
- They read like their brain depends on it
- They pick their battles and forget the rest
Sharp seniors have learned what’s worth arguing about and what isn’t. They’ll engage in spirited debates about things that matter but won’t waste energy correcting every wrong opinion or fighting every slight. They’ve developed what might be called selective passion—intense when it counts, relaxed when it doesn’t.
This isn’t apathy; it’s wisdom. It requires the prefrontal cortex to override the emotional brain’s need to be right all the time. Those who stay sharp understand that mental energy is finite, and spending it on petty grievances leaves less for creativity, humor, and genuine connection.
- They stay physically active without being obsessive
The sharpest minds past 70 usually inhabit bodies that move regularly. Not marathon-running necessarily, but walking, swimming, gardening—something that gets blood flowing to the brain. They understand the brain-body connection isn’t just wellness-speak; it’s biological fact.
But they’re not fanatics. They don’t bore you with their step count or lecture about their workout routine. They’ve found sustainable ways to stay active that feel more like living than exercising. Movement is integrated into life, not segregated into gym time. Research consistently shows that even moderate exercise can significantly improve cognitive function in older adults.
- They create more than they consume
Whether it’s writing letters, cooking new recipes, woodworking, or watercolors, mentally sharp seniors are makers, not just takers. They produce something—anything—that didn’t exist before they created it. This isn’t about talent or skill; it’s about the act of creation itself.
Creating requires the brain to work in ways that consuming never will. It demands problem-solving, planning, and adaptation when things don’t go as expected. The act of creation, regardless of the medium, builds cognitive reserve—the brain’s ability to maintain function despite age-related changes. Those who stay sharp understand that the question isn’t “Am I good at this?” but “Am I engaged by this?”
Final thoughts
The people who remain quick-witted and mentally agile past 70 haven’t discovered a secret formula or won a genetic lottery. They’ve simply refused to accept the narrative that aging means inevitable intellectual decline. They’ve chosen engagement over withdrawal, curiosity over certainty, growth over stagnation.
These rules aren’t really rules at all—they’re invitations to remain fully alive regardless of age. They recognize that the brain, like any muscle, responds to how you use it. The sharp seniors among us have figured out that wit isn’t about being young; it’s about being interested. They know that mental agility isn’t about denying age; it’s about embracing complexity at any age.
Most importantly, they understand that staying sharp isn’t just about cognitive exercise—it’s about maintaining a fundamental belief that there’s always something new to learn, someone interesting to meet, and something worth laughing about. Even—especially—yourself.
This week is all about fundamental aging beliefs. Can you pick and choose your battles and forget about the rest? Are you physically active without being obsessive? Are you staying engaged by being creative?
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