Word-Of-the-Week #1059: Distraction

November 21, 2024 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1059: Distraction 

Distraction something that makes it difficult to pay attention. 

How good are you at staying focused when you’re working on multiple projects? Do you tend to want to complete them all at the same time?

This week’s WOW “The Myth of Multi-Tasking comes from longtime friend Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor.

“In case you wonder why your young workers have such a hard time paying attention or staying focused, I offer this insight from Roy H. Williams: 

Joe Kraus was co-founder of excite.com in 1993. Today he’s a partner at Google Ventures, an angel investor at LinkedIn and on the board of the Electronic Frontier Foundation. 

Kraus says we live in a culture of distraction. Prior to the availability of smartphones, we accessed the internet an average of 5 times a day. Now the average is 27 times a day. Kraus is worried about this:

 “The effect of all of this [connectivity] is that we’re increasingly distracted. The funny part about distraction is that it’s a worsening condition. The more distracted we are, the more distractible we become.” 

“Some people call switching our attention from one thing to another ‘multi-tasking’ like we’re a computer with dual cores running two simultaneous processes. Except we’re not. 

Numerous brain studies have shown that what we call ‘multi-tasking’ in humans is not multi-tasking at all. Your brain is merely switching its attention back and forth between two tasks.” 

“Those studies have shown that we’re dumber when we do this, an average of 10 IQ points dumber. That’s twice as much as smoking a joint dumber. And we’re also 40% less efficient at whatever it is we’re doing.” 

“But my favorite part about multi-tasking is that the more you do it, the worse you are at it. It’s one of the only things where the more you practice it, the worse you get at it.” 

“When you practice distraction, which is what multi-tasking really is, you’re training your brain to pay attention to distracting things. The more you train your brain to pay attention to distractions, the more you get distracted and the less able you are to focus even for brief periods of time on the two or three things you were trying to get done in your ‘multi-tasking’ in the first place. 

How’s that for self-defeating?” 

This week’s focus is on distractions. How often do you find yourself unable to pay attention? Would you like to make more efficient use of your time? How would it feel to focus on one project at a time?

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Word-Of-the-Week #1058: Please

November 14, 2024 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1058: Please 

Please be agreeable to. 

Do you feel a need to be a people-pleaser? Is it important for you fit in and be included in everything?

Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought provoking piece.

Great Question: Please?

(Great questions lead to great answers; weak questions, weak ones.)

“Who Am I Trying To Please?”

Coaching Point: Do you know anyone who has never run this question? At some point we all have – for a boss, a date, for inclusion in ‘their club’. Fitting in and being included feel nice. But that’s not the essence of this question. It’s about overdoing it. 

Pleasing others, or trying to, at your expense. It’s about ROI. Are you paying more to please others than you are receiving from them? “I’m just a people-pleaser” is the common refrain of the person who is at risk of overdoing the pleasing.

Why try to please others? How about pleasing yourself?

If you please yourself first, you’ll find something. The people you like to hang out with most don’t need you to perform for them. A healthy exchange occurs. You enjoy pleasing others and being pleased by them in return.

A variation on this great question is, “Who Am I Trying To Impress?”

See all past issues and subscribe here Steve’s 3-Minute Coaching

Copyright © 2024 Steve Straus, All rights reserved.

This week’s focus is the need to please. Are you comfortable being your authentic self? Are there any people in your life that expect you to be agreeable all the time?

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Word-Of-the-Week #1057: Enjoyment

November 7, 2024 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1057: Enjoyment 

Enjoymentthe pleasure felt when having a good time.

How much enjoyment are you experiencing in your life? Do you have a good time at work? How about at home? Are you able to find enjoyment in the simple pleasures of life? 

I was featured in Sarita’s What do you say Communiquemonthly e-newsletter. She titled it, “Are You Having FUN Yet?” Since this week I am having FUN in Loreto with my best friend Gloria, it seemed only fitting to share it again. 😊

Sarita wrote, “We sometimes spend lots of energy trying to fix or change negative situations that are really beyond our control.  (ie–corporate decisions, the economy)

Instead, it would be a better use of our time to find ways to counteract the negativity by focusing on creating more of ‘what provides amusement or enjoyment’ (Webster Dictionary definition of FUN).

My colleague Susan Clarke, CFO (Chief FUN Officer) of FUN-damentals.com says it best: “Fun is riding the teeter totter on the playground of life.  There will always be ups and downs.  Hold on and enjoy the ride!”

Sarita’s 12 Tips for “Enjoying the Ride.” 

  1. Make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil all the fun in your future.
  1. Don’t try to win every argument.  Agree to disagree. 
  1. Each day do something nice for someone.
  1. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what they’ve been through.
  1. Develop a network of friends to support you in “enjoying the ride.”
  1. Don’t take yourself so seriously…keep a sense of humor.
  1. Use your “resiliency resources.”  i.e. – spend time doing your favorite activities.
  1. Smile. Laugh. Play.
  1. Create a list of FUN things to do, then start doing them.
  1. Don’t take things personally. It’s usually NOT about you.
  1. Ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
  1. Remember…no one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Copyright 2024 Sarita Maybin. All rights reserved.

This week’s focus is on enjoyment. Are you “enjoying the ride?” What pleasures do you relish?  Which of the 12 tips could you start doing to ensure a FUN ride?

Sarita’s book, “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? is available on Amazon.com. 

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Word-Of-the-Week #1056: Halloween

October 31, 2024 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1056: Halloween 

Halloweenwhat we are celebrating today. 😊

I thought it would be FUN to share how Halloween started and the difference between it and Day of the Dead again, since I am off to Loreto, Mexico tomorrow and hoping to see more celebrations!

Its origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago, mostly in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1.

This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth.

To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities. During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other’s fortunes.

When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.

In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints; soon, All Saints Day incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows Eve, and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-or-treating, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings, donning costumes and eating sweet treats.

Dia de Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is not a Mexican version of Halloween. Though related, the two annual events differ greatly in traditions and tone.

Whereas Halloween is a dark night of terror and mischief, Day of the Dead festivities unfold over two days in an explosion of color and life-affirming joy. Sure, the theme is death, but the point is to demonstrate love and respect for deceased family members. In towns and cities throughout Mexico, revelers don funky makeup and costumes, hold parades and parties, sing and dance, and make offerings to lost loved ones.

The Day of the Dead (Spanish: el Día de Muertos) is a holiday traditionally celebrated on November 1 and 2. It is widely observed in Mexico, where it largely developed, and is also observed in other places, especially by people of Mexican heritage. Although related to the simultaneous Christian remembrances for Hallowtide, it has a much less solemn tone and is portrayed as a holiday of joyful celebration rather than mourning. Some argue that there are Indigenous Mexican or ancient Aztec influences that account for the custom, and it has become a way to remember those forebearers of Mexican culture. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pay respects and to remember friends and family members who have died. These celebrations can take a humorous tone, as celebrants remember funny events and anecdotes about the departed.

Traditions connected with the holiday include honoring the deceased using calaveras and marigold flowers, building home altars called ofrendas with the favorite foods and beverages of the departed, and visiting graves with these items as gifts for the deceased. The celebration is not solely focused on the dead, as it is also common to give gifts to friends such as candy sugar skulls, to share traditional pan de muerto with family and friends, and to write light-hearted and often irreverent verses in the form of mock epitaphs dedicated to living friends and acquaintances. The rituals are rife with symbolic meaning. The more you understand about this feast for the senses, the more you will appreciate it.

Click the link to find out the Top 10 things to know about the Day of the Dead.

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Word-Of-the-Week #1055: Consent

October 24, 2024 by · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1055: Consent 

Consent – acceptance or approval of what is planned or done by another. 

How often have you let someone else’s bad behavior negatively affect you? How long did you carry it around?

This week features another great article from Sam Horn. 

ANECDOTE

Years ago, I presented a Tongue Fu! seminar about conflict resolution and put up a slide with my adaptation of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote which said, ‘No one can make us mad without our consent.’

A woman raised her hand and said, “I agree because I’ve lived through it. I’m a surgical nurse. I work with a neurosurgeon who’s the most abrasive individual I’ve ever met. He’s a brilliant doctor; and he has zero people skills.

Last year, I was a fraction of a second late handing him an instrument in surgery and he berated me in front of my peers.

On the drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When I got home, I sat down at the dinner table, told my husband what happened, pounded my fist on the table and said, ‘That doctor makes me so MAD.’

My husband had heard this before and said, “Judy, what time is it?

I looked at him, wondering what that had to do with anything. ‘7 o’clock.

What time did this happen?

9 o’clock this morning.’

He said, ‘Judy, is it really the doctor who’s making you mad?

I sat there and thought about it. I realizedIt wasn’t the doctor who was making me mad. The doctor wasn’t even in the room!

I was the one who had given him a ride home in my car. I was the one who set him a place at my dinner table.

In that moment, I decided that never again was that doctor welcome in my home or in my head.”

A lot of what happens in life, we can’t control. However, we CAN control how much time we spend dwelling on it and how we deal with it.

ACTION

  • How about you… Are you letting someone else live in your head rent-free?
  • Read the conflict resolution style descriptions below and reflect on which style was modeled for you growing up?
    • Do you use the same style that was modeled for you when dealing with conflict today?
    • How can you assert yourself in the moment so you don’t carry the conflict with you?
  • Ask yourself (or others who may be venting to you) “Do you want to be heard, helped, or hugged?”

This week’s focus is about giving consent. Do you just accept what others do even if it’s bad behavior? How would it feel to acknowledge it and then let it go?

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