Word-Of-the-Week #964: Elation
January 26, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #964: Elation
Elation – being filled with great joy or happiness.
Are you aware of those things in your life that bring you joy and happiness? When was the last time you took a walk in the park or took time to smell the roses?
This week features the second half of Washington Post writer Richard Sima, “Want to feel happier? Try snacking on joy. Learning to find the joy in mundane experiences is a way to cultivate a more meaningful life.
How to find more joy snacks
“Joy is a mind-set and something we can orient toward by being on the lookout for it.
“You can’t produce joy, but you can prepare for it,” Watkins said.
Researchers are studying how people can become more receptive to joyful moments. Taking time each day to recount past episodes of joy may be one way to increase your predisposition for joy in the future, though more work is needed on how best to develop a “lifestyle of joy,” Watkins said.
Cultivating gratitude is another way of cultivating joy. In one study, Watkins and colleagues used questionnaire data to measure participants’ gratitude and joyfulness in the moment and over time. They found that the more grateful a person is, the more likely they were to feel joy in the future. The reverse was also true: The more predisposed to joy someone is, the more likely they would feel gratitude as well.
- “Joy and gratitude kind of feed on each other,” Watkins said. “We call it a cycle of virtue.”
Gratitude interventions, such as writing down the things we felt grateful for during the day, have been found to improve mood and may foster more gratitude.
It is also important not to fall prey to what some psychologists have called “killjoy thinking,” which actively inhibits enjoyment by neutralizing positive moods. For example, watching a beautiful sunset with a loved one but only focusing on how cold it is about to get is tantamount to stealing a joy snack right out of your own mouth.
“If you’re not able to see the good in your life, you’re always overwhelmed by the bad in your life, you’re probably not going to prepare yourself for experiencing joy,” Watkins said.
One way to increase joy is to try savoring, which means mindfully paying attention, appreciating and accentuating the positive experiences we have.
That cup of coffee. The cuddliness of your pet. A joke whose punchline hits just right.
Focusing on the sensations and emotions you feel in these moments can make the joy snack all the richer.
It can take practice to get better at identifying and appreciating these experiences, but “once you learn to slow down and pay attention to those things, put more weight on those things, your life feels more fulfilled and more meaningful,” Hicks said.
- Nature is one powerful source of joy snacks that many people can nosh on, in part because of its power of inducing awe.
Hicks and his colleagues found that just having participants watch the two-minute opener to the nature documentary “Planet Earth” produced appreciation for the experience and, in turn, a greater sense of meaning.
“Nature is all around us, but it’s very easy to ignore it and downplay it,” Hicks said.
Sometimes taking a walk in the park and smelling the roses — by yourself or with others — is simply all you need to do to find some everyday joy.
- “No matter who you are, no matter where you are in life, there’s something out there that can bring you joy and happiness,” Hicks said.
So, what is your joy snack this week?”
This week’s focus is feeling elation. How good are you at mindfully paying attention, appreciating and accentuating the positive experiences you have? Have you ever focused on the sensations and emotions you feel in those moments? Is it time for a gratitude intervention?
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Word-Of-the-Week #963: Joy
January 19, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #963: Joy
Joy – a deep feeling of happiness or contentment.
Do you know that feeling joy is strongly associated with subjective well-being, which is essential for human flourishing? When was the last time you felt connected, or reunited with something or someone that’s really important to you?
This week features the first half of Washington Post writer Richard Sima, “Want to feel happier? Try snacking on joy. Learning to find the joy in mundane experiences is a way to cultivate a more meaningful life.
“Here’s an antidote to an ever-stressful, busy and uncertain world. Try finding and savoring little bites of joy in your day. I call them “joy” snacks.
By mindfully tuning into the pleasant, nice and sometimes routine experiences of every day, we can transform an otherwise mundane moment into something more meaningful and even joyful.
Lunch with a co-worker. Walking the dog. Texting with a friend. Watching a favorite show. Eating a favorite meal. Calling your mom. Just hanging out.
New research shows that finding and savoring these nuggets of joy can be a way of consistently cultivating a good, meaningful life.
“It’s not these big things that we sort of create in our heads, but these smaller day-to-day experiences that bring us meaning,” said Joshua Hicks, psychologist at Texas A&M University’s Existential Psychology Collaboratory.
- Understanding the science of joy
Surprisingly, joy has been relatively neglected by scholars.
But recent research suggests that joy is a distinct positive emotion for “when we feel connected, or reunited with something or someone that’s really important to us,” said Philip Watkins, psychologist who studies joy, gratitude and happiness at Eastern Washington University.
Watkins’s research, perhaps unsurprisingly, finds that feeling joy is strongly associated with subjective well-being, which is essential for human flourishing.
Big events like weddings or reunions are well-known smorgasbords for joy. But smaller bites of joy in everyday life matter, too, and are easier to attain if we don’t overlook them.
Previous research has shown we derive meaning in life from three key factors — feeling like our life makes sense, having a purpose driven by goals we care about and feeling like our lives matter.
A February study published in Nature Human Behavior involving more than 3,000 participants across multiple experiments reported that valuing one’s life experiences, or experiential appreciation, is another potent way of making life feel more meaningful.
When asked by researchers to recount their most meaningful experience that occurred in the past week, for most people, it was not about their grand, overarching goals, but something simpler and more mundane that stood out, such as having an enjoyable conversation or being surrounded by nature.
“It’s not just about you creating meaning in your head,” said Hicks, who co-wrote the study. “It’s about detecting meaning that’s already out there.”
Snacking on joy can go beyond focusing on our own experiences. Sharing our joy snacks also helps foster even stronger bonds with those we care about most. Relationship research has found that couples who celebrate small things regularly — not just the anniversaries — had stronger and happier partnerships.
There is also joy to be had when you take the time to reconnect with the person that is always with you: yourself.
This week’s focus is on feeling joy. Do you feel that your life makes sense and that it matters? Does your life feel purpose driven by goals you care about? Have you taken time to reconnect with yourself? How would it feel to find and savor little bites of joy in your day?
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Word-Of-the-Week #962: NO
January 12, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #962: NO
NO – used to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis, or disagreement.
How did you hold up this Holiday Season? Did you feel like there were too many obligations? Do you feel guilty just thinking about saying NO to someone?
This week Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor, sent “A To-Do List for 2023? Not So Fast” and it seemed like a great follow up to last week.
“This is the time of year when most people make New Year’s resolutions with all good intent … promises to themselves they seldom end up keeping because they’re too busy and just don’t have the time to add more balls to the juggle.
Jim Collins, author of the mega-bestseller “Good to Great”, had a suggestion: instead of to-do lists, make a “stop-doing” list. Because in obsessing over to-do lists full of things that don’t really matter, we spend less time saying yes to the truly important things.
Here are seven things the most successful people say no to on a regular basis. Perhaps you should, too.
- Say No to opportunities and things that don’t excite you, speak to your values, or further your mission in life.
- Say No to superficial networking events in which people swap business cards and never hear from one another. Why? Because successful people don’t network. They build relationships.
- Say No to spending time with uninspiring, critical, or negative people who drag you down. Time is precious — choose a small circle of people who will energize you and challenge you to be better.
- Say No to overworking. While it’s true some successful people and many restaurant owners put in 60 to 80 hours per week, very successful people aren’t workaholics who neglect self-care and family. They recognize if they can’t take care of themselves, everything else suffers.
- Say No to doing all the work. This comes down to one word: D-E-L-E-G-A-T-I-O-N.
- Say No to giving the steering wheel of your life to anyone else. Warren Buffett says: “You’ve gotta keep control of your time and you can’t do that unless you say no. You can’t let people set your agenda in life.”
- Say No to people-pleasing. Successful people don’t neglect their deepest wishes and desires to accommodate and yield to others’ wishes and desires.
Before you make yet another list of futile New Year’s resolutions, perhaps you’d be better served by taking a day off to reflect on what’s really important to you. Then make a list of everything you need to STOP doing in order to free up the time you need to make progress on the critical stuff.”
This week’s focus is on saying NO to things that are not important to you! What excites you and can further your mission in life? Do you have a small circle of people who will energize you and challenge you to be better? Are you the person in charge of setting your agenda?
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Word-Of-the-Week #961: Resolution
January 5, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #961: Resolution
Resolution – a firm decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner.
Do you usually make a New Year’s resolution? Is there something you want to do this year? Would you like to modify or change any behavior?
I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions and I was asked during the Holidays what I wanted 2023 to be for me. My first thought was be only surrounded by people who bring me joy! And the second have been my two travel mantras, “I want to be surprised, but not P..O..ed.” and “It’s 5:00 somewhere, and I want to be somewhere by 5:00.”
What thosemantras mean for me is that, “I know enough information but not everything. I like to be surprised!” And, “I don’t want my days jammed full with activities. I want to be able to relax and have some down time before dinner.”
Travel is very personal! I don’t want to do so much research that I know what to expect. Perfect examples of that are when we went to Egypt (I had no idea how many different temples there were other than the pyramids) and Xi’an, China (I had no idea there were 8000 life size terra cotta soldiers buried there.) And I don’t want all of my days filled with pre-planned activities from sun up to sun down. For long time subscribers you might remember my WOW on “planned spontaneity.”
Things that I have learned that will make my resolution work are: 1) find out when the weather (temperature, precipitation, air quality) is most ideal and go at that time. 2) you can never assume you will find a hotel room on the weekend in the “off season.” 3) don’t book your air before you know what your itinerary is! (This is especially important if you want to book a cruise.) You could be set up for great disappointment.
If you’re like me and don’t really do New Year’s resolutions, think about what you like to do and how you could improve upon it or make it better. Maybe it’s like not making the same mistake twice? Or letting go of people in your life that don’t bring you joy?
This week’s focus is on resolutions. Don’t feel pressured to come up with one just because it’s New Year’s. Do it because it feels right. Is there anything you have anted to do for a long time? How would it feel to make plans for that to happen? Is there any behavior you would like to change? Do you have the support to help you make that happen?
Here’s to a happier, healthier and more prosperous New Year!
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