Word-Of-the-Week #856: Lesson
December 31, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #856: Lesson
Lesson – a useful piece of practical wisdom acquired by experience.
I want to end 2020 with something positive to ponder and I apologize for not being able to quote the author as it was sent to me in an e-mail.
- I’ve learned …
That being kind is more important than being right.
- I’ve learned …
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
- I’ve learned …
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
- I’ve learned …
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
- I’ve learned …
That when you’re in love, it shows.
- I’ve learned …
That money doesn’t buy class
- I’ve learned ….
That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
- I’ve learned….
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
- I’ve learned …
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in any other way.
- I’ve learned….
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
- I’ve learned …
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
- I’ve learned …
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
- I’ve learned …
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
- I’ve learned …
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
- I’ve learned …
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
- I’ve learned …
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
- I’ve learned …
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
- I’ve learned …
That love, not time, heals all wounds.
- I’ve learned …
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
- I’ve learned …
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
- I’ve learned …
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
- I’ve learned …
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
- I’ve learned …
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
- I’ve learned …
That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
- I’ve learned …
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
- I’ve learned….
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
- I’ve learned …
That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.
- I’ve learned …
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
- I’ve learned…
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
What lessons have you learned this year? And here’s to a Happy & Healthy New Year!
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Word-Of-the-Week #855: Kind
December 24, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #855: Kind
Kind – having or showing a friendly, generous, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature.
When was the last time you experienced a random act of kindness? How considerate are you of others? How willing are you to help someone without expecting anything in return?
This week brings another wonderful piece from Neil Senturia’s UT article, “Be kind, and put in the effort to be there for others.”
“It’s getting to be the time of year when old times should be forgotten. If I had my way, that would include burying them. We are coming to the end of 2020. Of course, one dilemma with coming to the end of something is the realization that a couple days later, it starts all over again. You are never really outta here until the pine box shows up.
Still, I am good with taking a short breath and seeking leadership and guidance on how exactly to navigate these waters. To that end, I turned to Professor Boris Groysberg, Harvard Business School. His advice starts with a quote from Henry James, “Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.” Henry does have a way with words, doesn’t he?
Next, Groysberg lists the challenges we all face. Parenting, remote work, home schooling, isolation from loved ones, special needs children, caretakers, health care workers, financial strains, zoom and doom — there is not enough newsprint available to list them all. But in the end Groysberg decides that “the fundamental leadership strategy is the most innately human one: Be kind.”
Sounds simple, no? We all think we are. But when we look in the mirror, for sure we see some cracks. The techniques he suggests are reassurance (no, Bob, you are not going to lose your job, we can make it together), compassionate listening (yes, I can take some time to really listen to your concerns without interrupting you and making notes on my phone and thinking about my next meeting) and a “conscious effort to validate people’s fear and confusion”, (I know that you are afraid. That is perfectly rational at this time, but let’s trust together that the company will survive, and you will too.)
A survey of psychiatrists (I asked mine) shows that more than 42 percent of their new cases are associated with “these times we are living in.” See, the good news is that it is perfectly rational to be 
terrified and neurotic (finally the justification I have been seeking).
Now, let’s take the other side of the coin. Groysberg is asking the CEO to exhibit all those kind behaviors, while at the same time navigating the tsunami of crap coming down on his head, financial pain, market woes, customers bailing out. This standing in the other guy’s shoes is not so easy — high heels, flats, wingtips or flip- flops. So, the practice of kindness cuts both ways.
Ritchie Davidson, University of Wisconsin, says “Kindness is teachable. Practicing compassion can be compared to weight training.” It is not a weakness to be empathetic. Groysberg goes on, “Kindness is contagious as well as calming.” My assistant of 28 years, Ms. Rockstead, has a phrase for me when I am bouncing off the wall, “Breathe. Just breathe.”
And of course, it is yoga that focuses a lot of its training on breathing. And breathing leads to calm and calm leads to reflection and the ability to see outside yourself, and finally by extension kindness is contagious. The Mayo Clinic says that “acts of kindness activate a part of our brain that releases oxytocin that makes us feel pleasure” and then in the workplace, this translates to improved morale and performance.
Philo of Alexandria, 20 B.C., (I did a startup with him) says, “Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” Groysberg offers a few concrete thoughts on how to practice kindness.
“I hear you.” Make space for your employee to speak safely. Be present, don’t judge. Just listen. (This is good advice for marriages, as well).
“Are you OK?” Be willing to provide comfort. Tell Betty it is OK to leave early to just get some extra rest.
“What can we do to help?” Even if you can’t really help, be a sounding board. Tell her that you know she is doing the best she can.
And finally, “I’m there for you.” (Feels like Groysberg might have lifted that from my first book.) Be available and in the moment.
But the fishhook is that you can’t just say the words. You need to really be there, baby. And that is the hard work.”
Rule No. 687: I hear you.
This week’s focus is on being kind. Do you feel and show empathy for others? Are you a good listener? Are you there for your friends, family or co-workers when they are in need of help or support?
And here’s to having some FUN & Happy Holidays!
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Word-Of-the-Week #854: Delight
December 17, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #854: Delight
Delight – something that gives great pleasure or enjoyment.
When was the last time you felt delight? How often have you taken time to take care of your own needs this past year?
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a tent with a mosquito.” ~African Proverb
The is the follow up to last week’s “8 Simple Ways to Brighten Someone’s Day,” By Krista Butler.
To recap:
1. Leave inspirational notes in random places.
2. Thank someone.
3. Be curious about someone.
4. Send a handwritten note.
5. Do something for yourself.
“Now this may seem a bit backward. How does doing something for yourself impact someone else?
Well, when you take care of your own needs, and give yourself some much-needed self-love, you fill up your own cup. And when your own cup is overflowing, that overflow is the love that flows to others. It’s a beautiful thing.
So take that bath, go to that dance class, go for a walk, and feel the goodness.
6. Make a playlist for someone.
Back in the day, I used to love making mix-tapes. I’d wait by my ghetto blaster, blank tape in the tape deck, and be on high alert to press the record button when my favorite songs came on.
These days, making music mixes are way less labor-intensive! You can make a playlist on YouTube in minutes. Make a specific playlist for someone in your life and send it to them. What an awesome surprise to both give and receive!
7. Take it to social media.
Instead of spending time lurking on Facebook and Twitter, choose three people to give a shout-out to! The guy you used to sit next to in science class, your cousin you haven’t seen in three years, the random person you connected with when you were traveling—post on their wall (or send a private message). Let them know you’re thinking of them.
8. Surprise with a gift.
Whether you send flowers to one of your friends at her workplace or buy a coffee for the person behind you in line, splurging and surprising someone else is a lot of fun.
Do you go to a coffee shop with a loyalty card? I collect all my stamps, and then once I accumulate my free coffee, I ask the barista to give it to the next person in line. It’s a thrill for me, the barista, and the person behind me who doesn’t suspect a thing!
When you brighten someone’s day, you are simultaneously stirring up positive energy within yourself. And you’ll carry this energy with you throughout your day. It’s a great feeling.
So I challenge you to ask yourself, how can something I do today surprise and delight another individual?”
This week’s focus is on bringing delight! Have you stayed in touch with friends and family this past year? When was the last time you surprised someone with a gift? Have you ever given a gift to a complete stranger?
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Word-Of-the-Week #853: Brighten
December 10, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #853: Brighten
Brighten – to make or become cheerful.
Do you know how easy it is to brighten someone’s day? When’s the last time you sent someone a handwritten note in the mail? When’s the last time someone sent you one? How did that make you feel?
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a tent with a mosquito.” ~African Proverb
The week’s inspiration comes from “8 Simple Ways to Brighten Someone’s Day,” By Krista Butler. I will share her are eight ideas in 2 WOW’s
“I have a love-hate relationship with airports.
On the one hand, it’s the perfect place to people-watch. I mean, how can you not tear up when you see a kid running to give a returning parent a giant hug? Or two lovers reuniting and smiling from ear to ear when they lay eyes on each other? You are witness to perfect snippets of pure, genuine emotional connection.
On the other hand, airports can be a drag. Long line-ups, having to chug my water bottle because I usually forget to empty it beforehand, taking my shoes off and stepping on my tiptoes to avoid my bare feet touching the cold airport floor.
But on my latest visit to the airport, my negative attitude vanished all because of one airport security employee.
As I was standing in line doing a mental inventory of all the liquids I would need to empty out of my purse, she was directing people through the line up in the best possible way. She was yelling positive messages like, “Life is good!” and “It’s a great day!”
What a rare and beautiful thing to do.
It put a smile on my face and truly impacted my flight and rest of the day. Her joie de vivre was contagious.
I never would have expected this from an airport security employee.
Which got me thinking, how can I brighten someone’s day within my normal realm of work?
1. Leave inspirational notes in random places.
Books in the library, on people’s car window, under your lover’s pillow, wherever.
How awesome would it walk into a public restroom and find a sticky-note on the mirror that says something like, “Make it a great day”? I predict it will also be just as awesome and exhilarating to be the one to leave the note.
2. Thank someone.
Who in your life has positively impacted you? A teacher, your mom, your brother, an old neighbor, a coach? Send them an email and share a memory and your gratitude for the positive influence they’ve had in your life.
3. Be curious about someone.
Make eye contact and smile. Acknowledge their existence and engage them in conversation. Learn something about them. A two-minute conversation can brighten the day for both of you.
4. Send a handwritten note.
Who doesn’t love getting mail? There’s a total thrill in seeing an envelope with your name on it. Surprise someone with a handwritten note just because. I can almost guarantee they will smile ear-to-ear when they receive it.
When you brighten someone’s day, you are simultaneously stirring up positive energy within yourself. And you’ll carry this energy with you throughout your day. It’s a great feeling.
So I challenge you to ask yourself, how can something I do today surprise and delight another individual?”
This week is all about brightening someone’s day! How often do you do random acts of kindness? How good are you at listening and finding out about someone? When was the last time someone brightened your day?
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Word-Of-the-Week #852: Wonderment
December 3, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #852: Wonderment
Wonderment – the feeling aroused by something strange and surprising; curiosity.
Are you naturally inquisitive? Are you amazed by archeological sites like the Pyramids in Egypt and wonder how they were ever built? Do you find yourself filled with curiosity about the world as you get older?
“The meaning I picked, the one that changed my life: Overcome fear, behold wonder.” ~ Richard Bach
This week’s WOW comes from long time subscriber and friend Joe. This was his reply to Venturesome. “Fear is the biggest obstacle for people in deciding whether to try something new or to boldly go where they have never been before.
It is that fear of the unknown that always seems to hold us back. We don’t know who we will meet, we don’t know what will happen when we get there, we don’t know if we can do something we’ve never tried before.
I know that whenever I go to a city I’ve never been, I like to leave the hotel and take a walk around the town, not really with any destination in mind. I will say hello to people I meet, go into a coffee shop, or even strike up a conversation as I wait in line for a sandwich.
Quite often I will tell my daughters that every day is like a brand-new lifetime. You never know who you will meet, or what challenges or opportunities are ahead of them.
For me, it is the curiosity. Finding out what makes people tick or what it is that is around that next corner is what provides the answer to my wondering.
We can’t fear the embarrassment of not knowing something or how something works. Life is for learning, every single day. It is natural for us to feel sheepish in front of others that we don’t know something. That is human nature.
I have always been naturally curious. I WANT TO KNOW. And if I can’t find out, I keep looking until I do find out. That is just me.
All of my life I have always been puzzled by how so many are not curious. I don’t know if it is that they don’t want to know or just don’t care.
Curiosity stimulates the mind, and that is what keeps me feeling adventuresome in all aspects of my life.”
Like Joe, I am filled with curiosity and am so grateful for being able to travel and see so many wonders of our world. What I am really surprised about is how much I enjoy history and geography. I found school mostly boring! (Probably because they dictated what I should learn.)
This week’s focus is on wonderment. What subjects or hobbies are you curious about? Do you like watching documentaries, the History or Discovery Channel? Do you have a desire to visit any of the Wonders of the World?
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