Word-Of-the-Week #838: Resilent
August 27, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #838: Resilent
Resilient – recovering readily from adversity, depression, or the like.
How would you rate your capacity to deal with change and continue to develop? How well are you accepting your present situation?
This week’s WOW, “Help yourself stay positive by adopting 5 steps of resilience” features excerpts by Veronica Mitchell who writes Caregiver Advice for the SD Union Tribune. And her thoughts today apply to all of us.
- What is resilient thinking?
Resilience is having the capacity to deal with change and continue to develop. My parents are very resilient people, and they taught their children to build that quality in our lives from an early age.
When my sister and I owned our senior services business, we also were able to witness successful agers using their resilience to practice acceptance of their current situation. These resilient thinkers find ways to adjust their world around their new reality. They move forward with an “adjust as you go” mentality, which gives them the will and fortitude to expand their horizons after trauma and life transitions. At least for me, I want to have that will for living and being content, with a drive to keep making things better.
Here are five steps you can incorporate into your mindset to build resilience in your life at any age. Start building resilience now in your life, and it will be an asset for surviving this global health crisis:
- Practice acceptance of your present moment right now.
- Set your “adjust as you go” mentality for new changes.
- Stay connected socially with video calls, window visits and letter writing during COVID-19.
- Make use of coping skills. Talk with doctors and friends, stay physically well and help others.
- “Grow from transitions,” which means you must find ways to stay involved in your life even after loss and trauma. Continue with projects where you can, and learn a new hobby or skill.
Resilient thinkers are always contemplating their lives and make sure they are moving forward as best they can. This makes them positive, successful agers because they don’t sweat the small stuff and they accept things as they are in their reality. These resilient thinkers change what they can to in order to live their life the best way they can — with grace and humor, and by letting go of things that no longer serve them.
- Perception, self-talk and reality
Sometimes, our perception is quite different from reality, and our negative self-talk can absolutely affect our thinking and performance or behaviors. In the days before COVID-19 when I had paid speaking engagements, many organizations hired me to speak at their conferences, conventions and employee training on the power of positive self-talk and building resilience to manage change.
Living through this pandemic and changing our lives on a dime forces all of us to make the best of situations and try to find the humor and humanity. I know that I must engage my resilience and continue to move forward through this life transition. People who are stressed and tired can sometimes have a distorted perception of the reality of their lives and will focus solely on the problem areas instead of the whole picture.
Positive self-talk is now considered a component of mental health care. There is research supporting the assertion that positive self-talk assists everyone, from elite athletes and CEOs managing their performance, to family caregivers reducing stress. Identifying our internal dialogues and making efforts to change the negative talk into positive talk make for easier living, especially for caregivers.
Learning to practice positive self-talk requires recognizing when you speak negatively about yourself, canceling that thought, then replacing it with a more relevant, positive thought. For example, instead of focusing on failure and stating in my mind that I am a loser, embarrassed that I lost a challenge, I will acknowledge the loss and state that I tried something new and did my best.
This week’s focus on being resilient. Do you have that will for living and being content, with a drive to keep making things better? Are you staying connected socially? Do you practice positive self-talk?
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Word-Of-the-Week #837: Ponder
August 20, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #837: Ponder
Ponder – to reflect or consider with thoroughness and care.
This week’s WOW, “An observation by George Carlin.” comes from my long-time dear friend (and sister from a prior life) Susan.
George Carlin’s wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic George Carlin – comedian of the 70’s and 80’s – could write something so very eloquent and so very appropriate.
“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.” – George Carlin
And just as an FYI August 16th is National Tell a Joke Day. So, featuring George’s words to ponder, seemed like perfect timing. No pun intended! 😊
This week focus on taking time to ponder what is important to you. Are you living a life that supports your values? Are you cherishing the moments you have with your loved ones?
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Word-Of-the-Week #836: Projects
August 13, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #836: Projects
Projects – plans to accomplish something which may require concerted effort.
Have many of your family or friends have started projects during this pandemic? Do you have any projects that you want to start? Have any of them felt too daunting to take on by yourself?
This week’s WOW was inspired by Katrina who is a former foster kid. I have been her mentor over the past five years, and she is currently in her final year of getting her master’s degree in biology.
We have connected with phone calls and texts during the last several months. She and her fiancé bought a house late last year that they knew would need some remodeling in the future. Their plan was to get married this past May and when that didn’t happen, they decided to use their “lockdown” time to work on some projects around the house.
Well I must tell you how impressed I am with the project they both took on together. A total bathroom remodel! Seriously!
Katrina said, “You can find out how to do anything on YouTube. So, we started with learning all about plumbing. Then on to laying tile, etc.” She said, “We almost broke up over the molding in the shower!”
I am so proud of their accomplishments and told Katrina, “Remodeling is a huge cause of divorces. If you can make it through a pandemic lock down and taking on this huge project and are still together, I’d say you have a “rock solid” relationship.”
And on another note, I started making jewelry many years back. Just beaded bracelets that turned into necklaces. When my dear friend Elaine wanted me to make her earrings, I told her I would find someone who could do that. Her reply was, “It’s easy. Just go on YouTube.” So, I did and the rest is history!
And just for the record, I have done daunting projects that turned out great but would never do again! Like laying 1000 sq ft of floor tile. About killed my back and knees (even in those days when I was much, much younger.)
This week’s focus is on projects. What projects would you like to accomplish? How comfortable would it be for you to tackle any of those projects on your own?
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Word-Of-the-Week #835: Progress
August 6, 2020 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #835: Progress
Progress – the process of working toward completion.
Do you have projects that you are currently working on? Have you ever felt stuck during the process of working toward the completion of it?
Once again, Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought provoking piece that is a great follow up to the previously sent WOW’s!
Principle: Making Progress
(Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)
Stuck while improving something recently I bumped into an old bit of wisdom which helped me get moving. Paraphrasing – when you have a problem you do not understand, do any part of it you do understand, then look at the problem again.
Brilliant. And simple. Why does it work? Because once you have solved the part you do understand you will be in a different place; you will see the remaining problem in a different context. That new context can reveal additional approaches, resources, and solutions.
Yes, you still may not be able to solve the original problem. If so, repeat the process, handling another part you do understand.
Why was I stuck originally? Because I wanted to solve the original issue with a grand, sweeping design. Ta-Da! Unable (initially) to do so, I froze. (The ego is a terrible servant and a powerful master.)
There are other reasons for getting stuck, both mental and emotional:
Fear that what you do won’t work.
A need to look good in the process.
You may run out of limited resources.
Self-doubt.
And on and on.
The key to making progress is to make progress. However small it may seem.
Coaching Point: Do you ever get stuck?
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Copyright © 2020 Steve Straus, All rights reserved.
This week’s focus is making progress. How quick are you when it comes to making a decision? How would it feel to act and experience it as an adventure?
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