Word-Of-the-Week #646: Grudge
December 22, 2016 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #646: Grudge
Grudge – a persistent feeling of resentment, ill will, or bitterness.
Do you feel resentment for anyone or anything? How long have you carried it? An hour; a week; a year; or even more?
This week’s feature is another from NY Times columnist Carl Richard, AKA Sketch Guy, The Cost of Holding On. “Let’s start with a story from Jon Muth’s book “Zen Shorts:”
Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn’t step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn’t help her across the puddle.
The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn’t thank the older monk; she just shoved him out of the way and departed.
As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. “That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then, she didn’t even thank you!”
“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”
There is an actual cost to holding onto things we should let go of. It can come in the form of anger, frustration, resentment or something even worse. The question is, can you really afford to keep paying the bill?
The faster we learn to drop our emotional dead weight, the more room we create for something better. I’m talking about everything from stewing about the guy who cut you off in traffic this morning to still refusing to forgive an old friend for an event 20 years ago.
We have only so much bandwidth. We have only so much time. We only have so much energy. Do we really want to invest any of our precious resources – financial or otherwise – into something that will return nothing but misery?
My question for you is, “What’s one thing you can set down this week?”
Go ahead and pick something. A fight with your spouse, something a politician said, your team losing the big game. Pick it, drop it and then pause. For just a moment, simply pause and savor what it feels like to no longer carry that burden and pay that price.
Then, I want you to invest that extra into something more productive. If it’s extra time, go for a walk. If it’s extra peace, take five deep breaths. If it’s extra money because you decided to just pay the stupid traffic ticket instead of letting it sit on your desk accruing late fees, then take that extra money and invest it in something that makes you happy.
Play with your kids. Take a nap. Just do something that makes you feel the opposite of how you felt before you let go. I can guarantee you, this is one investment you’ll never regret.
And then, after you’re done with all that, send me an email. If you’re willing to share, I’d love to know what you decide to let go. Email me at mailto:hello@beingcarl.com.
This week’s focus is all about grudges. Are you holding onto things you should let go of? What is it costing you? How would it feel to drop your emotional dead weight? What could you invest in that would be more productive?
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FUN-photos: Magical Myanmar – 12 Delightful Days
December 20, 2016 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on FUN-photos: Magical Myanmar – 12 Delightful Days
- We started and ended the trip in Yangon…with our tour including Breathtaking Bagan and all its temples…an Irrawaddy River Cruise…Mandalay with its Monasteries & Monks…a mountain retreat in wonderfully cool Kalaw…and lovely Inle Lake with its long boats…lily pads…and lotus flowers.
- If you click on the first picture it will allow you to create a slide show.
FUN-travel: Recap – Flight Fiascos
December 20, 2016 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on FUN-travel: Recap – Flight Fiascos
They’ve clearly taken the FUN out of Flying!
Himalaya’s Leh Airport – is military and was the worst airport experience we have ever had! Our guide was not allowed to go in with us to assist. Communication breakdown was a HUGE problem.
- 1st – they tried to make me check my carry on (I had to whine & plead that it had my medication, cosmetics, laptop, jewelry, etc). People with backpacks bigger than my bag had no problem!
- 2nd – they tried to charge us for overweight bags that were prepaid.
- 3rd – we had to go through 3 security checks inside the airport – (all carry on bags had to be tagged and stamped and signed at each checkpoint)
- 4th – then you have to go outside to identify your bags before they load them (all this in subzero temperatures, there is no heating)
- 5th – then your boarding passes are checked again on the tarmac before you board the plane!
India – airports have no standard for laptops or liquids. Anything goes or doesn’t depending on where you are! If you are on a direct flight (one that stops) the plane de-boards, then airport personnel pass through the cabin rechecking all boarding passes and make passengers ID their baggage in the bins.
- And women have separate security lines. I am not kidding! In Delhi there were 20 for men and 3 for women…and this is when we were just changing planes. It took me over 35 minutes to get through.
Prayer Wheels
- Maldives – they confiscate anything that is not allowed but they do give it back when you fly out. My idol of
worship (Ganesha statue) was a definite no no! As was liquor.
- Heathrow – don’t have anything that resembles a liquid in your carryon that is not in a baggy and placed in a bin. We waited an hour (seriously) to pick up our hand carry. They thoroughly searched each bag and there were only 8 before they got to ours. It was overkill to say the least!
FUN-fact – on the plus side our carry on bags were never weighed. And for the flights that we prepaid an extra 5 kilos they let us slide when we were a couple of kilos over.
More FF – For the 3 Myanmar flights – none of our bags were weighed and they didn’t care if you had more than 2 carry on items.
FUN-travel: Last “Big Fat” Vacation – THE END!
December 20, 2016 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on FUN-travel: Last “Big Fat” Vacation – THE END!
- We ended our India trip… at the end of India… literally! in the city of Trivandrum.
Our Best Beach Bungalow
Saving the Maldives for last was brilliant…as it was so relaxing… and the environment was the polar opposite… of the prior crazy & chaotic 6 weeks.
Mamallapuram
- Thank god the bucket list is all most done…it took us 50+ hours to get home!… And that was enough to convince us…
…it’s time to tour North America!
FUN-travel: Amazing Maalhosmadulu Atoll – Maldives Dive & Snorkel Report – Day 7
December 16, 2016 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on FUN-travel: Amazing Maalhosmadulu Atoll – Maldives Dive & Snorkel Report – Day 7
- Today’s Dives – only 1…can’t do more than that because of flying w/in 24 hrs…more scorpion fish…beautiful coral…rated VG!
1st & only Snorkel – saw several schools…longfin bannerfish…white collar & black pyramid butterflyfish…striped surgeonfish…but the best…was Oscar the Octopus…who put on a nice show…changing colors and textures… to match the coral…pretty amazing!
- Also, reef is coming back as I saw yellow coral sprouting!
Dive Trip Rating – Steve has been diving for 45 years and gave this trip a 9+ rating due to the pristine & thriving eco-system…diversity of fish…reef activity…coral quality…turtles…variety of sharks…and manta rays…group cheers at dinner to a great dive trip!
Striped Surgeonfish
- He also said this is for intermediate to experienced divers.
Favorite Fish Finds…group all agreed that nurse shark sanctuary….manta rays at night…and the wreck dive were major highlights.
Clown Triggerfish
- Trip to Town on Dharavandhoo Island – 4:15…basically a chance to take a walk…same place we ferry over in our dhoni to get to the local airport…2 small stores…45 minutes and you’ve walked the entire island.
FUN-fact – The average temperature year round is a high of 84 and a low of 78.
Not so FF – Carpe Vita booking agent never told us (or anyone on the trip) that we were flying back to Male to catch our international flights until two days before our departure. In the mean time our flight time changed and we had to get off the ship at 4:15 am for a 6 am flight and then sit in the airport for 4+ hours! They just lost a whole lot of points…EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED…and a terrible way to end what would have been such a great trip. (as an aside… they changed the time we were to get off the ship three times… getting earlier each time, which did not work for me at all!)