Word-Of-the-Week #1084: Purpose
May 29, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1084: Purpose
Purpose – the object toward which one strives; aim or goal.
Are you doing and pursuing things that matter to you? Do you do work that you love?
This week’s WOW features more great thoughts from Sam Horn.
ANECDOTE
Years ago, I presented a workshop for Open University on a step-by-step approach to staying focused – no matter what.
That workshop contributed to a rewarding career and to writing my book called ConZentrate which has taken me around the world and given me opportunities to do work I love that matters – with people I enjoy and respect.
After the workshop, several people came up to me and said some version of: “It looks like you really enjoy what you do. I wish I could do work I loved.”
People talk about finding their calling as if it exists out there somewhere intact, and all they have to do is look long enough and EUREKA, there it will be, hiding behind a tree.
I think our calling – doing work we love that matters – emerges from doing and pursuing things that matter to us. It’s not found, it’s forged.
Purpose comes as a result of turning our passion into our profession and our joy into our job.
ACTION
How about you? Would you like to do work that matters?
I suggest pursuing opportunities in alignment with the Four I’s below so you can catalyze a life you love where the light is on in your eyes.
- What do I find INTRIGUING? What INTERESTS me?
- What is something that is in INTEGRITY, meaning it would benefit people and add value for them and me?
- What is a problem, need or opportunity that has caught my attention and my INSTINCTS are telling me, ‘Somebody should do something about that?”
- What puts the light on IN my eyes when I’m doing it?
Remember, work we love is not out there waiting. It’s a result of us creating… So get busy doing and pursuing what matters to you.
This week’s focus is on purpose. Are you doing work you love that matters? What do you find intriguing and/or interesting? How would it feel to turn your passion into your profession and your joy into your job?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1083: Gratitude
May 22, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1083: Gratitude
Gratitude – a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation.
Do you know that expressing gratitude regularly can increase overall happiness and reduce depression? Are you taking time to appreciate life’s small wonders?
This week features the last half of “The happiest people in the world say “yes” to these 5 things, according to science” by Tina Fey at DMNews.com
To Recap: “We all know someone who seems to radiate happiness from the inside out.
They’re the kind of people who appear genuinely content—through both ups and downs—and make us wonder, What’s their secret? They have…
- A sense of purpose
- Healthy relationships and community
- Continuous growth and learning
- Practicing gratitude
“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings,” the writer William Arthur Ward once said, and I couldn’t agree more.
There’s nothing quite like pausing to appreciate life’s small wonders—warm sunshine, a good meal, or a caring text from a friend—to immediately shift your mindset.
In fact, Harvard Health research points out that expressing gratitude regularly can increase overall happiness and reduce depression.
This doesn’t require a grand gesture. A simple habit like writing down three things you’re grateful for at the end of the day can make a lasting impact.
I started doing it in my thirties, and it was so subtle at first that I barely noticed a difference. But over time, I realized that the moments I used to brush off were actually precious highlights.
If it’s not part of your routine already, consider giving it a try. It’s a small “yes” that can have a huge ripple effect on your daily life.
- Mindful self-care
Last but definitely not least, let’s talk about self-care—an area where many of us struggle to say “yes.”
Between work responsibilities, family obligations, and social gatherings, setting aside “me time” can feel like a luxury.
However, I’ve learned that it’s not just an indulgence; it’s vital for mental well-being.
Over the years, I’ve seen clients push themselves to the brink of burnout because they believed self-care was frivolous. Then they’d collapse physically, mentally, or emotionally, and they’d realize how crucial it really is.
Whether it’s going for a walk, reading a good book, practicing yoga, or simply taking a few minutes to breathe deeply, these moments replenish your reserves.
You don’t have to spend a fortune on spa days—true self-care often involves basic self-attention.
This is backed by science, too. Taking time to relax and re-center has been linked to lower stress levels and increased emotional resilience.
In my own life, a few minutes of daily meditation have become non-negotiable, and I genuinely believe it makes me a calmer, more present partner, friend, and counselor.
- Final thoughts
If you’re already saying “yes” to some of these areas, congratulate yourself—it’s not always easy to prioritize what truly matters.
If you feel like you’re not quite there yet, that’s okay. It’s never too late to start making small shifts that point you in a happier direction.
The common thread among these five factors—purpose, relationships, gratitude, growth, and self-care—is that they all nurture who you are as a whole person.
They’re not quick fixes or one-size-fits-all solutions; rather, they’re guiding lights that you can adapt to fit your own life and preferences.
Wherever you are on your happiness journey, I hope these insights give you fresh ideas to explore. Feel free to pick just one to begin with, then gradually incorporate the others in a way that feels comfortable.
After all, life is a process—and the most fulfilling journeys often start with a simple “yes.”
This week’s focus is on gratitude. How would it feel to write down three things you are grateful for each day? Are you taking time to relax and re-center to replenish your reserves? Would you like to have less stress and be calmer and more present?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1082: Content
May 15, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1082: Content
Content – mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are.
Are you guided by a clear sense of purpose? Do you have genuinely supportive people by your side?
This week features the first half of “The happiest people in the world say “yes” to these 5 things, according to science” by Tina Fey at DMNews.com
“We all know someone who seems to radiate happiness from the inside out.
They’re the kind of people who appear genuinely content—through both ups and downs—and make us wonder, What’s their secret?
I’ve often pondered this question in my own life and work, and I’ve noticed a pattern: happy people tend to embrace a handful of core commitments that light them up and keep them grounded.
Does that mean they don’t struggle? Of course not.
But there’s something special about the way they choose to live and the principles they prioritize.
If you’re looking to boost your own sense of well-being, here are five things the world’s happiest folks say “yes” to—backed by research and my own observations as a counselor.
Let’s dig in.
- A sense of purpose
Have you ever asked yourself, Why am I doing what I’m doing?
It’s a big question, and I’ve found that those who consistently feel happier are usually guided by a clear sense of purpose.
They aren’t just going through the motions or chasing other people’s definitions of success; they’re fueled by a deeper “why.”
Purpose can be as grand as championing a charitable cause or as personal as wanting to be the best parent you can be.
The crucial part is that it resonates with your core values.
As Martin Seligman, often referred to as the father of positive psychology, has noted, having a purpose in life is closely associated with higher levels of well-being.
It gives you a reason to get up in the morning and devote energy to something that truly matters to you.
In my own journey, discovering that my calling was to help others through counseling gave me an internal compass. Even on tough days, I remember that I’m part of something bigger than myself.
- Healthy relationships and community
Have you noticed how much easier it is to tackle life’s obstacles when you have genuinely supportive people by your side?
It’s not just anecdotal—several long-term studies, including the renowned Harvard Study of Adult Development, have shown that meaningful social connections are a key predictor of long-term happiness.
Over the decades, researchers found that people who maintain strong bonds with family, friends, or community not only experience fewer emotional struggles but also tend to live longer and healthier lives.
I’ve seen this firsthand in my counseling practice with clients who have at least one or two close confidants. They exhibit higher resilience when stress hits, and they generally feel more grounded day to day.
Whether it’s a few close friends or a supportive community, investing in these relationships is about choosing quality over quantity.
When you embrace authentic connections, you create a network of belonging and trust that can truly elevate your overall well-being.
- Continuous growth and learning
Another thing the happiest people in the world say “yes” to is lifelong learning.
They say “yes” to growth, whether that means diving into a new skill, exploring a different culture, or simply taking on a hobby that expands their worldview.
Research in neuroscience shows that the brain craves – and thrives on – novelty. This is why engaging in novel and challenging experiences boosts happiness; it creates a sense of accomplishment and wonder.
When you allow yourself to be open, even a little bit, there’s no telling what exciting doors you might unlock.
This week’s focus is on being content. Are you satisfied with how things are? Does your work resonate with your core values? Do you have meaningful relationships? When was the last time you engaged in a novel or challenging experience?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1081: Acknowledgement
May 8, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1081: Acknowledgement
Acknowledgement – the act of recognizing and validating one’s existence.
When was the last time someone pointed out a positive attribute that you possess? When was the last time you recognized and acknowledged someone’s positive attributes?
Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought-provoking piece.
Personal Need: For Acknowledgement
(An unmet Need causes us to feel empty, incomplete, or less than whole. Fulfilling a Need gives us freedom to be ourselves.)
We live in an age of under acknowledgement. To acknowledge someone is to see a positive attribute of them and tell them so. We do this far less than we could. Thus missing the benefits we could experience. Plus, a continual absence of acknowledgement can lead to a neediness for it.
When receiving an acknowledgement some have described the feeling they experience as one of being ‘gotten’ as in, “He/she gets me. They see an aspect of me that’s real.” A deeper level of connection results.
An acknowledgement is different and deeper than a complement. (See S:0089) When you acknowledge someone, or something about them, you are forging a bond which can last.
But to go a long time without being acknowledged is to see it develop into a Need. At that point we start doing overt actions trying to prompt one from others. That neediness is off-putting, actually interfering with receiving what we are so needy for.
To recognize you have a need for acknowledgement is the first step to letting it go and being free. You might want to start with self-acknowledgement – catching yourself doing something well.
Most people are so under acknowledged that when they do hear one they soak it in like rain on a dry lawn.
Coaching Point: When were you last acknowledged and how did you feel?
See all past issues and subscribe here Steve’s 3-Minute Coaching
Copyright © 2025 Steve Straus, All rights reserved.
This week’s focus is on acknowledgment. What goes around comes around! How good are at recognizing others for their accomplishments? Would you like to have deeper connections? When was the last time you acknowledged yourself for doing something well?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1080: Achievement
May 1, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1080: Achievement
Achievement – something that has been accomplished, esp by hard work.
What achievements have you made in your life? What would like to accomplish this year? Do you feel envy when you compare yourself to others achievements?
This week features “Late bloomers in a world that values early success” by UT San Diego columnist Neil Senturia.
“My father’s opinion of the likelihood of my achieving early success (and in fact any success) caused him to comfort his son with the words, “You’ll be a late bloomer.” It was a kind way of lowering his expectations of me to the level of a Walmart greeter.
Forbes magazine publisher Rich Karlgaard has some thoughts that make it very clear that the popular hyped millennial mantra of “having to make it before you are 30, otherwise, you might as well commit hari-kiri” is actually total nonsense, as argued in his new book, “The Power of Patience in a World Obsessed with Early Achievement.” Karlgaard says that although he went to Stanford, (“I barely got through”), after graduation he was both confronted and challenged by the amazing apparent trajectories that his classmates were embarking on. “I remember a low moment, here I am a 25-year-old Stanford grad and the best job I could get after college was as a security guard at a trucking company.”
Readers — pause and reflect. Then admit that all of us have had the demon of envying our peers who seem to be ahead of us in the race (where and why we are racing is for another column). Karlgaard says he was walking the perimeter with a flashlight, while “his professional colleague” in the yard next door was nothing more than a Rottweiler. Three months later, Steve Jobs would take Apple public.
I want to ask Karlgaard what his parents said to him at that time. Did they tell him that they loved him regardless and to hang in and that blooming was right around the corner? Or did they see themselves (and their son) as the failures? This is hard stuff. Some of us are early rock stars, but most of us have “gifts that go undiscovered” until later — or if ever. Karlgaard talks about the “early achievement conveyor belt” and the potential anxiety, depression and even suicide that occur if you are not on that path. I am confessing now and forever that I have seen those demons up close and personal.
Rule No. 613
Can I interest you in a watering can?
The twin paths of computer science and Wall Street finance are the quickest route to early recognition. Those skills develop earlier than what Karlgaard calls “fully functioning mature adults,” who more deeply express the traits of curiosity, resilience and equanimity. Companies say they want those core values but the problem is that they don’t always hire for them in the beginning. It turns out that those seemingly clear early performance markers — GPA and SAT scores — become increasingly irrelevant over time.
Karlgaard supports his premise by turning to the real science of how and when the brain develops. The high frequency hedge fund trader brain peaks in the 20s and 30s; deeper pattern recognition, empathy and compassion peak during the 40s and 50s; and finally as we age, we finally head toward “exhibiting wisdom.” Karlgaard says that late bloomers tend to find their own path, which in turn leads them to the place where this late blooming occurs. He calls it the intersection of talent, passion, grit, density and finally mission. Wow.
The question is a simple one, but not easily answered. How do we find a way to allow our children the time to find their bloom? He argues for encouraging a gap year after high school graduation — time to wander, to stray from the path, to leave the conveyor belt, to get lost and then finally to discover your way. He even touches the third rail of mandatory military or civil service (Israel, Switzerland and Singapore). He argues that “not everyone should go to a four-year college,” and he supports “shop class.” My favorite memory from high school was building a model wooden sailboat (which I still have).
Finally, his book turns to parenting, the eternal dilemma, but the emerging neurological and cognitive science point solidly to the fact that “we have multiple decades in which to come into our own.” The glib mantra of “quitters never win, winners never quit” is complete madness. We all know that letting go and walking away can be transformative. We all can be reinvented and embrace the pivot. There are always second chances, but they only appear and bloom when they are good and ready.”
This week’s focus is on achievement. Do you believe that you’re a failure if you haven’t “made it before your 30?” Are you guilty of trying to put your children or family members on the “early achievement conveyor belt?” What if you or someone you know is a late bloomer? How would it feel to have more recognition, empathy, and compassion which comes with age?
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