Word-Of-the-Week #1036: Manners
June 13, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1036: Manners
Manners – the socially correct way of acting; etiquette.
How would you rate your table manners? How often do you say “Please” and “Thank You?” How willing are you to admit making a mistake and say “I’m sorry?”
This week I’m re-running the UT article by Phil Blair, “Having good manners always matters – in and out of the office.” Because I’m shocked how many people I encounter that are sorely lacking them! On the other hand, I’m always pleasantly surprised when a young man or woman holds the door for me.
He writes, “Ever wonder why key hires are made after the boss takes a top prospect out to lunch or dinner?
It’s because sharing a table presents a prime opportunity to observe a candidate’s table manners in action, especially how they relate to the service staff.
Demanding and arrogant? Or well-mannered and respectful?
I happen to regard good manners as essential for civilized human interaction. Your manners serve as a tell-tale sign of whether I would recommend you for a job. Or not.
Call me old-school, but I believe that recognizing good manners – the timeless art of knowing how to behave around others, especially co-workers, is still, and will always be, one of the hallmarks of smart, savvy and successful hiring.
Simply stated, having good manners is essential, a “must-have” for the workplace – any place, really.
What follows is a sampling of “do’s” and “don’ts” that you should and shouldn’t do. Believe me, there are plenty more.
If you feel these don’t apply directly to you, fine. Maybe you always behave respectfully, with impeccable manners worthy of royalty. If that’s the case, congratulations: You’re more likely to be hired than that ill-mannered slacker who came before you.
1) Do say “please” and “thank you”: Simple enough, right?
2) Don’t hesitate to say “hello” and “goodbye”: Greet fellow co-workers with a smile and friendly greeting, when the day begins and again when you go home. As with “please” and “thank you,” say it like you mean it.
3) Do say “please forgive me”: If you do happen to say something thoughtless or unkind or unnecessary, saying “forgive me” isn’t a sign of weakness. It shows strength of character.
4) Don’t hesitate to say “I’m sorry”: There are plenty of times when good manners aren’t enough. It happens: You make a mistake. You say the wrong thing at the wrong time. You do something you shouldn’t. Admit it, first to yourself and then to whomever your mistake was directed or whose life/work balance you unintentionally put in a tizzy. And mean it.
5) Do stop interrupting: Let people finish talking, even if you’re bursting inside. If you do happen to blurt out something that feels like you’re interrupting, say “Sorry.” And mean it. You wouldn’t want to be interrupted when you’re droning on and on. Besides, don’t drone on and on.
This week’s focus is on your manners. And the Golden Rule comes to mind as I was taught at a very early age to treat people the way I wanted to be treated! How often do you say “hello” and “goodbye” to the people you worker with? How good are you at listening and not interrupting when others are sharing feedback? Have you ever said “please forgive me” because you might have said something thoughtless or unkind?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1035: Carpe diem
June 6, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1035: Carpe diem
Carpe diem – seize the day!
Are you making the most of each day? Have you ever been guilty of taking your job or the people in your life for granted? Are you lucky to have true loves in your life?
I went to the Phrase Finder website and found this. “Carpe” translates literally as “pluck”, with particular reference to the picking of fruit, so a more accurate rendition is “enjoy the day, pluck the day when it is ripe.” The extended version of the phrase “carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero” translates as “Pluck the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.”
The meaning is similar to that of many proverbs that we continue to use in English as a warning to make the most of the time we have, with the implication that our time on Earth is short.
Many years back I had a friend who asked, “Susan, if you had six months to live would you live your life differently?” To which I responded, “Yes.” And then she said, “What makes you think you have six months to live?” Well, I thought that was pretty eerie and I have never forgotten it. As I have gotten older, I realize how short life really is.
And now having lived through the coronavirus, and recently losing people who have passed way too soon, made me very aware of how truly fragile life can be. I am sharing a couple of quotes that spoke to me.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
“Life is a game, play it.” – Mother Teresa
“If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” – Larry McMurtry
“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
This week’s focus is carpe diem. When was the last time you “seized the day” and felt like you were living life to the fullest? Did the pandemic cause you to make changes so you are “making the most of each day?” Are you cherishing the people in your life who most deserve it?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1034: Wisdom
May 30, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1034: Wisdom
Wisdom – the trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight.
Have you ever questioned where some of your beliefs came from? How comfortable are you asking for help if you’re not certain about something?
Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, once again has great insight to share.
Principle: Wisdom
(Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)
Wisdom has no author.
Wisdom exists. People we think of as wise are people who have tapped into a piece of wisdom waiting to be seen. Not created; wisdom is discovered.
Like Pluto (the body-in-space-formerly-known-as-a-planet) existed without anyone’s help and was then discovered. Like subatomic particles existed in the nucleus of atoms before we even knew what atoms were. Wisdom is like that.
So how does one become wise? Learn how to tap into the always existing body of wisdom?
High on the list has to be intention. One must intend to become aware of wisdom. Even a casual look around shows the mass of people aren’t interested. Access to wisdom is not their intention.
Next, become more self-aware. Discover and let go of many of the things you think you know but just aren’t so. (thanks, Yogi) Probably want to get help with this. Our ideas and beliefs about life limit our ability to experience it fully. Unlearning can be challenging.
Then launch into inquiry. Read. Seek dialogue with people who seem to be wise in topics of interest to you. Practice looking through the mirror to the view beyond.
Finally(?), step into uncertainty with confidence. Delight in paradoxes. Becoming wise(er) is a joy and delight. Feel it bubble up inside. Laugh with it. It’s wisdom, it’s not personal.
Through these and other approaches wisdom will reveal itself to you. It seems it wants to!
Coaching Point: What wisdom are you interested in experiencing?
See all past issues and subscribe here Steve’s 3-Minute Coaching
— Copyright 2024 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. —
This week’s focus is about gaining wisdom. Can you step into uncertainty with confidence? How would it feel to let go of many of the things you think you know but just aren’t so? Could your ideas and beliefs about life be limiting your ability to experience it fully?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1033: Competent
May 23, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1033: Competent
Competent – having sufficient skill, knowledge, etc.; capable.
Do you think being competent is all you need to do a good job? Have you ever had bad service from a person who was capable and had the skill and knowledge? Have you ever thought about all of the qualities that create a great service experience?
This week I’m sharing an experience from one of our vacations where we had superb service more than once. We were taking our first Silversea Cruise and had heard raves about the service staff. After the first week they wanted feedback from us. I immediately listed four people who I felt had given me “extra special” service.
After the second week Chris said to me, “You know Anthony is really a good waiter.” He didn’t stand out like Evan (my favorite waiter) so I started to pay more attention to him. Then I took it upon myself to try to determine all of the qualities that contribute to the “total hospitality experience” that I was feeling.
I am not sure of the exact order of importance but I know that you have to have the skill and the knowledge to start with. And what you need in addition to that is the confidence that you are competent to handle your responsibilities. And with confidence you then become more comfortable.
Those are the qualities needed to do a “good job” but the stuff that “blows your customers socks off” are when you create a connection with them. That’s being totally present and making them feel really cared for!
This week’s focus is on being competent. Do you have the skills and knowledge to do your job? If you have staff have you fully trained them, so they are competent doing their job? Do you feel they have confidence and are comfortable so they can create a great service experience?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1032: Frugal
May 16, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1032: Frugal
Frugal – practicing economy; living without waste; thrifty.
Do you consider yourself to be frugal? Do you use coupons? Do you love a good deal?
I have a postcard on my desk that reads, “frugal is such an ugly word.” It cracks me up every time I see it. And it spurred to revisit this word when one of my acquaintances laughed out loud when I said, “I am working on not being so frugal.” She clearly has no idea how frugal I am!
For many years I took my recycling to the center to get my deposit money back. Do you know how many cans and bottles it takes to make $8?
I subscribe to “The Friends & Family Plan” when it comes to home repairs. Many providers offer discounts when you give them referrals.
All the people that truly know me well know I love a “bargain.” I don’t like paying full retail! When I was remodeling our home, I told the salesperson I was “Looking for top of the line economy.” That usually evoked a smile or a laugh. I still do it today!
And when we took our grand kids shopping for their birthday presents they knew that if they bought items on sale they get more. For Christmas we put money in their 529 college fund. They get enough “stuff” and I feel it’s our responsibility to teach them how to save and spend.
For every international flight we’ve used points and flew in either first or business class. Frugal doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy being comfortable! It all comes down on ROI – Return on Investment. It’s very personal. What is most important to you?
Don’t get me wrong as I love spending money. I just hate wasting it more! I’ve also learned the hard way that buying the best quality products cost more up front but are cheaper in the long run. Perfect examples of that are luggage, blenders, and tools. Or anything you use a lot.
And this excerpt from Zina Kumok on “The Cult of Frugality – Why Being Frugal Doesn’t Work” speaks volumes.
“Every day, people choose not to spend money on something that could change their lives – like a Master’s degree, investment opportunities, or a new business idea. They get so wrapped up in daily financial decisions like whether to buy brand-nane or generic salsa that they forget about the big picture.
My husband used to fall into this extreme frugality trap. For years he avoided buying fresh vegetables, preferring to buy cheaper ingredients to make pasta and sandwiches. After developing a daily exercise habit, he slowly loosened the reins. Now, we eat fresh veggies with every meal and have a salad at least once a day. Our grocery bill is slightly more than it used to be, be we consider it an investment in our health. Turns out this thinking makes good financial sense as well. A report published by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that, “People in bad health work less, earn less, face higher medical expenses, die earlier, and accumulate much less wealth compared to those in good health.”
If you’re avoiding exercise because a $40 gym membership is expensive, you’re actually costing yourself hundreds of thousands of dollars in the long run. Skipping spinach because it doesn’t last as long as a bag of rice, is actually the less frugal decision.”
Being frugal doesn’t mean you can’t have some periodic splurges and luxuries. It’s WHY you can! As my dear sweet friend Sandra says, “The people I know that have a WHOLE LOT OF MONEY have a healthy respect for it.”
This week think about what frugal means to you. How do you spend your money? Are you investing wisely when it comes to your health? Do you talk to your staff, your kids, and/or your grand kids about spending and saving?
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