Word-Of-the-Week #1055: Consent
October 24, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1055: Consent
Consent – acceptance or approval of what is planned or done by another.
How often have you let someone else’s bad behavior negatively affect you? How long did you carry it around?
This week features another great article from Sam Horn.
ANECDOTE
Years ago, I presented a Tongue Fu! seminar about conflict resolution and put up a slide with my adaptation of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote which said, ‘No one can make us mad without our consent.’
A woman raised her hand and said, “I agree because I’ve lived through it. I’m a surgical nurse. I work with a neurosurgeon who’s the most abrasive individual I’ve ever met. He’s a brilliant doctor; and he has zero people skills.
Last year, I was a fraction of a second late handing him an instrument in surgery and he berated me in front of my peers.
On the drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When I got home, I sat down at the dinner table, told my husband what happened, pounded my fist on the table and said, ‘That doctor makes me so MAD.’
My husband had heard this before and said, “Judy, what time is it?’
I looked at him, wondering what that had to do with anything. ‘7 o’clock.’
‘What time did this happen?’
‘9 o’clock this morning.’
He said, ‘Judy, is it really the doctor who’s making you mad?’
I sat there and thought about it. I realized… It wasn’t the doctor who was making me mad. The doctor wasn’t even in the room!
I was the one who had given him a ride home in my car. I was the one who set him a place at my dinner table.
In that moment, I decided that never again was that doctor welcome in my home or in my head.”
A lot of what happens in life, we can’t control. However, we CAN control how much time we spend dwelling on it and how we deal with it.
ACTION
- How about you… Are you letting someone else live in your head rent-free?
- Read the conflict resolution style descriptions below and reflect on which style was modeled for you growing up?
- Do you use the same style that was modeled for you when dealing with conflict today?
- How can you assert yourself in the moment so you don’t carry the conflict with you?
- Ask yourself (or others who may be venting to you) “Do you want to be heard, helped, or hugged?”
This week’s focus is about giving consent. Do you just accept what others do even if it’s bad behavior? How would it feel to acknowledge it and then let it go?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1054: Enchantment
October 17, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1054: Enchantment
Enchantment – a feeling of delight; utter captivation; fascination.
When was the last time you experienced enchantment? Have you found any inspirations over the course of this year?
Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought provoking piece.
Quote: Enchantment
(Quotes are capsules of information, reinforcement or enlightenment.)
“Whoever remains unmoved,
whoever cannot contemplate or know
the deep shudder of the soul to enchantment,
might as well be dead,
for he has already closed his eyes
upon life.”
– Albert Einstein
Coaching Point: Really? The logical, linear, brilliant thinker, Einstein, talking about Soul, about Enchantment?
Those who are stuck in their heads can only contemplate thoughts. Thoughts are good, but limited. So be a good thinker; exercise your ability to figure things out; find bedrock facts and build from them. But to stay there confines you to the finite, for local mind is finite. It is, ultimately, a box, a prison of your reality. Fortunately, there is more to life than thinking.
When was the last time you experienced enchantment? Felt the “shudder of the soul” as he put it? That experience does not come from within your mind, the repository of your thoughts.
It comes from the rest of what you are – the non-linear moments, the intuitive, the creative, the inspired. If you are open to them and create opportunities for them, they will show up.
Einstein did. He said most of his seemingly linear, logical findings were the result, not of more chalkboard calculating, but of inspiration. Pure and simple ah-ha’s. And he said he spent lots of time in the field of enchantment to foster their emergence.
What are you doing to experience “the deep shudder of the soul to enchantment”?
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This week’s focus is on enchantment. When was the last time you had a feeling of delight? Is there anything that fascinates you or that you find utterly captivating?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1053: Communication
October 10, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1053: Communication
Communication – putting oneself into close connection or relationship with another person to create complete understanding.
Have you ever had a conversation that was totally misunderstood? You thought you were being very clear, and it just wasn’t? Do you ever repeat back what you heard just to make sure you understood it correctly?
A quote I used in my programs came from one of my favorite cartoons, Kathy. She says, “My words came out fine. They were processed incorrectly by your brain!” How many times has that happened to you? You think you are speaking clearly, and the other person just doesn’t get it.
We all have different filters and images in our brains. I will never forget the conversation I had with one of my audience members. I said, “When I get a real job, I want to be a cocktail waitress at a pool bar.”
Her reply was, “How could you stand all that smoke?” I’m sure I had a puzzled look on my face, and it took me a few seconds to realize that she had an image of a billiard hall. My image was in Maui, or some other exotic place, and I was outside having FUN serving cocktails and food around the pool!
One of the best things you can do when you are serving your guests, customers, members or clients is to always repeat back what they say. (This works for family members and any one you intend to do business with too!) And that way there is no misunderstanding. When it comes to taking and filling orders it will save you lots of time and hassle because you will get it right the first time.
This week’s focus is on clear communication. Do you give your full attention to the person communicating with you? Did you know that good communicators listen 60 to 70 percent of the time and only speak 30 to 40 percent of the time? Practice listening and repeating back what you hear.
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Word-Of-the-Week #1052: Generous
October 3, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1052: Generous
Generous – willing to give or share; unselfish.
Do you generously help others? Are you being generous to yourself?
This week features the last half of Times of India “Happiness Expert shares secrets to staying happy,” by Stephanie Harrison. Here’s last week’s recap:
Incredible ways to achieve happiness in life
Self-improvement and contribution.
Embrace your strengths
The power of kindness
Choosing what truly matters
- Authenticity and generosity
“Traced two threads that appeared again and again: you need to be yourself, and you need to give of yourself.”
True happiness comes from fully embracing who you are, without doubts or fears, and from generously helping others. These two keys- being genuine and sharing your time, skills, and care- create a fulfilling and meaningful life for you while spreading joy and positivity to those around you.
- Accept and love yourself as you are
“Want to experience more joy in life? Refuse to judge yourself as good or bad based on a single moment in your day, and instead, practice accepting yourself as you are in all of the moments of your day,” she shares in an Instagram post.
- Stop judging
“If you adopt this rule in your own life, it won’t just improve your relationships with others—it will also improve your relationship with yourself. We do this to ourselves (constantly) too. The less you judge others, the less you’ll judge yourself; the less you judge yourself, the less you’ll judge others. Compassion transforms all,” writes Stephanie Harrison in one of her social media posts. Following compassion in all aspects of your life can make you feel genuinely happy in return.
- Help others
Being of service to others, helps one feel better about themselves. No wonder then, that practicing small acts of kindness or helping others feels good to people. As Stephanie writes in her book ‘New Happy’, “There is no way to be your best self without being of service to other-selves.”
- Stop grading yourself
“Grading ourselves is a behavior we were socialized into by Old Happy a long time ago. It’s how we keep ourselves ‘in line’ with Old Happy’s expectations. Start noticing when you do this and instead, practice putting that behavior in the greater context of your life. You are worthy as you are and you are an imperfect human who will struggle and make mistakes and need help, and that will always be the case,” writes Stephanie Harrison in a social media post.
This week’s focus is being generous. Do you fully embrace who you are? Are you willing to share your time, skills and care with others? How often do you practice small acts of kindness?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1051: Happiness
September 26, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1051: Happiness
Happiness – a state of well being; ranging from contentment to deep intense joy in living.
Do you have meaningful connections? Do you know what your unique talents and skills are?
This week features the first half of Times of India “Happiness Expert shares secrets to staying happy,” by Stephanie Harrison.
- Incredible ways to achieve happiness in life
Who doesn’t want to be happy? However, in a world full of competition, negativity, and constant change, finding true happiness and peace isn’t easy. With this in mind, we’ve curated some eye-opening quotes and their in-depth explanations from Stephanie Harrison, a leading expert in happiness and personal growth. Stephanie Harrison is a renowned author and founder of The New Happy, a platform dedicated to helping people discover and cultivate joy. If you’re seeking happiness in today’s fast-paced world, you’re in for a treat! Read on to uncover these powerful insights and tips to achieve true happiness in your life.
- Self-improvement and contribution
“There is but one solution to the intricate riddle of life, to improve ourselves and contribute to the happiness of others.”
Harrison explains that finding meaning and satisfaction in life involves both personal growth and making a positive impact on others. As you work on developing your own strengths and abilities, you also contribute to others’ well-being. This not only enhances your sense of purpose but also brings greater happiness to your life.
- Embrace your strengths
“Using your unique strengths makes you feel happier, helps you grow, and offers a venue for self-expression.”
Using your unique talents and skills makes you happier because it aligns with your passions and strengths. This helps you grow and allows you to express yourself, which enhances your satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.
- The power of kindness
“If you want to be happy, try to make someone else happy.”
According to Stephanie, a great way to achieve happiness is through kindness and generosity. By helping others and making them happy, you build positive relationships and spread joy, which in turn enhances your own happiness and well-being.
- Choosing what truly matters
“Our world would be a far happier place if we learned to care less about some things (power, possessions, and popularity) and to care more about others (connectedness, creativity, and compassion.)”
Chasing after power and wealth can leave you feeling unhappy and drained. To find true happiness, focus on meaningful connections, creativity, and compassion. These values help you build strong relationships, grow as a person, and elevate your energy, leading to deeper and more genuine happiness.
This week’s all about focusing on happiness. Have you found meaning and satisfaction in your life? Are you willing to contribute to the happiness of others? Are you choosing what truly matters to you?
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