Word-Of-the-Week #1056: Halloween
October 31, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1056: Halloween
Halloween – what we are celebrating today. 😊
I thought it would be FUN to share how Halloween started and the difference between it and Day of the Dead again, since I am off to Loreto, Mexico tomorrow and hoping to see more celebrations!
Its origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago, mostly in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1.
This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth.
To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities. During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other’s fortunes.
When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.
In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints; soon, All Saints Day incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows Eve, and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-or-treating, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings, donning costumes and eating sweet treats.
Dia de Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is not a Mexican version of Halloween. Though related, the two annual events differ greatly in traditions and tone.
Whereas Halloween is a dark night of terror and mischief, Day of the Dead festivities unfold over two days in an explosion of color and life-affirming joy. Sure, the theme is death, but the point is to demonstrate love and respect for deceased family members. In towns and cities throughout Mexico, revelers don funky makeup and costumes, hold parades and parties, sing and dance, and make offerings to lost loved ones.
The Day of the Dead (Spanish: el Día de Muertos) is a holiday traditionally celebrated on November 1 and 2. It is widely observed in Mexico, where it largely developed, and is also observed in other places, especially by people of Mexican heritage. Although related to the simultaneous Christian remembrances for Hallowtide, it has a much less solemn tone and is portrayed as a holiday of joyful celebration rather than mourning. Some argue that there are Indigenous Mexican or ancient Aztec influences that account for the custom, and it has become a way to remember those forebearers of Mexican culture. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pay respects and to remember friends and family members who have died. These celebrations can take a humorous tone, as celebrants remember funny events and anecdotes about the departed.
Traditions connected with the holiday include honoring the deceased using calaveras and marigold flowers, building home altars called ofrendas with the favorite foods and beverages of the departed, and visiting graves with these items as gifts for the deceased. The celebration is not solely focused on the dead, as it is also common to give gifts to friends such as candy sugar skulls, to share traditional pan de muerto with family and friends, and to write light-hearted and often irreverent verses in the form of mock epitaphs dedicated to living friends and acquaintances. The rituals are rife with symbolic meaning. The more you understand about this feast for the senses, the more you will appreciate it.
Click the link to find out the Top 10 things to know about the Day of the Dead.
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Word-Of-the-Week #1055: Consent
October 24, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1055: Consent
Consent – acceptance or approval of what is planned or done by another.
How often have you let someone else’s bad behavior negatively affect you? How long did you carry it around?
This week features another great article from Sam Horn.
ANECDOTE
Years ago, I presented a Tongue Fu! seminar about conflict resolution and put up a slide with my adaptation of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote which said, ‘No one can make us mad without our consent.’
A woman raised her hand and said, “I agree because I’ve lived through it. I’m a surgical nurse. I work with a neurosurgeon who’s the most abrasive individual I’ve ever met. He’s a brilliant doctor; and he has zero people skills.
Last year, I was a fraction of a second late handing him an instrument in surgery and he berated me in front of my peers.
On the drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When I got home, I sat down at the dinner table, told my husband what happened, pounded my fist on the table and said, ‘That doctor makes me so MAD.’
My husband had heard this before and said, “Judy, what time is it?’
I looked at him, wondering what that had to do with anything. ‘7 o’clock.’
‘What time did this happen?’
‘9 o’clock this morning.’
He said, ‘Judy, is it really the doctor who’s making you mad?’
I sat there and thought about it. I realized… It wasn’t the doctor who was making me mad. The doctor wasn’t even in the room!
I was the one who had given him a ride home in my car. I was the one who set him a place at my dinner table.
In that moment, I decided that never again was that doctor welcome in my home or in my head.”
A lot of what happens in life, we can’t control. However, we CAN control how much time we spend dwelling on it and how we deal with it.
ACTION
- How about you… Are you letting someone else live in your head rent-free?
- Read the conflict resolution style descriptions below and reflect on which style was modeled for you growing up?
- Do you use the same style that was modeled for you when dealing with conflict today?
- How can you assert yourself in the moment so you don’t carry the conflict with you?
- Ask yourself (or others who may be venting to you) “Do you want to be heard, helped, or hugged?”
This week’s focus is about giving consent. Do you just accept what others do even if it’s bad behavior? How would it feel to acknowledge it and then let it go?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1054: Enchantment
October 17, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1054: Enchantment
Enchantment – a feeling of delight; utter captivation; fascination.
When was the last time you experienced enchantment? Have you found any inspirations over the course of this year?
Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought provoking piece.
Quote: Enchantment
(Quotes are capsules of information, reinforcement or enlightenment.)
“Whoever remains unmoved,
whoever cannot contemplate or know
the deep shudder of the soul to enchantment,
might as well be dead,
for he has already closed his eyes
upon life.”
– Albert Einstein
Coaching Point: Really? The logical, linear, brilliant thinker, Einstein, talking about Soul, about Enchantment?
Those who are stuck in their heads can only contemplate thoughts. Thoughts are good, but limited. So be a good thinker; exercise your ability to figure things out; find bedrock facts and build from them. But to stay there confines you to the finite, for local mind is finite. It is, ultimately, a box, a prison of your reality. Fortunately, there is more to life than thinking.
When was the last time you experienced enchantment? Felt the “shudder of the soul” as he put it? That experience does not come from within your mind, the repository of your thoughts.
It comes from the rest of what you are – the non-linear moments, the intuitive, the creative, the inspired. If you are open to them and create opportunities for them, they will show up.
Einstein did. He said most of his seemingly linear, logical findings were the result, not of more chalkboard calculating, but of inspiration. Pure and simple ah-ha’s. And he said he spent lots of time in the field of enchantment to foster their emergence.
What are you doing to experience “the deep shudder of the soul to enchantment”?
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This week’s focus is on enchantment. When was the last time you had a feeling of delight? Is there anything that fascinates you or that you find utterly captivating?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1053: Communication
October 10, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1053: Communication
Communication – putting oneself into close connection or relationship with another person to create complete understanding.
Have you ever had a conversation that was totally misunderstood? You thought you were being very clear, and it just wasn’t? Do you ever repeat back what you heard just to make sure you understood it correctly?
A quote I used in my programs came from one of my favorite cartoons, Kathy. She says, “My words came out fine. They were processed incorrectly by your brain!” How many times has that happened to you? You think you are speaking clearly, and the other person just doesn’t get it.
We all have different filters and images in our brains. I will never forget the conversation I had with one of my audience members. I said, “When I get a real job, I want to be a cocktail waitress at a pool bar.”
Her reply was, “How could you stand all that smoke?” I’m sure I had a puzzled look on my face, and it took me a few seconds to realize that she had an image of a billiard hall. My image was in Maui, or some other exotic place, and I was outside having FUN serving cocktails and food around the pool!
One of the best things you can do when you are serving your guests, customers, members or clients is to always repeat back what they say. (This works for family members and any one you intend to do business with too!) And that way there is no misunderstanding. When it comes to taking and filling orders it will save you lots of time and hassle because you will get it right the first time.
This week’s focus is on clear communication. Do you give your full attention to the person communicating with you? Did you know that good communicators listen 60 to 70 percent of the time and only speak 30 to 40 percent of the time? Practice listening and repeating back what you hear.
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Word-Of-the-Week #1052: Generous
October 3, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1052: Generous
Generous – willing to give or share; unselfish.
Do you generously help others? Are you being generous to yourself?
This week features the last half of Times of India “Happiness Expert shares secrets to staying happy,” by Stephanie Harrison. Here’s last week’s recap:
Incredible ways to achieve happiness in life
Self-improvement and contribution.
Embrace your strengths
The power of kindness
Choosing what truly matters
- Authenticity and generosity
“Traced two threads that appeared again and again: you need to be yourself, and you need to give of yourself.”
True happiness comes from fully embracing who you are, without doubts or fears, and from generously helping others. These two keys- being genuine and sharing your time, skills, and care- create a fulfilling and meaningful life for you while spreading joy and positivity to those around you.
- Accept and love yourself as you are
“Want to experience more joy in life? Refuse to judge yourself as good or bad based on a single moment in your day, and instead, practice accepting yourself as you are in all of the moments of your day,” she shares in an Instagram post.
- Stop judging
“If you adopt this rule in your own life, it won’t just improve your relationships with others—it will also improve your relationship with yourself. We do this to ourselves (constantly) too. The less you judge others, the less you’ll judge yourself; the less you judge yourself, the less you’ll judge others. Compassion transforms all,” writes Stephanie Harrison in one of her social media posts. Following compassion in all aspects of your life can make you feel genuinely happy in return.
- Help others
Being of service to others, helps one feel better about themselves. No wonder then, that practicing small acts of kindness or helping others feels good to people. As Stephanie writes in her book ‘New Happy’, “There is no way to be your best self without being of service to other-selves.”
- Stop grading yourself
“Grading ourselves is a behavior we were socialized into by Old Happy a long time ago. It’s how we keep ourselves ‘in line’ with Old Happy’s expectations. Start noticing when you do this and instead, practice putting that behavior in the greater context of your life. You are worthy as you are and you are an imperfect human who will struggle and make mistakes and need help, and that will always be the case,” writes Stephanie Harrison in a social media post.
This week’s focus is being generous. Do you fully embrace who you are? Are you willing to share your time, skills and care with others? How often do you practice small acts of kindness?
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