Word-Of-the-Week #1065: Acceptance
January 16, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1065: Acceptance
Acceptance – approval or agreement with the situation.
Are you able to accept things you have no control over? Has worrying or fretting about a situation ever made it any better? Are you able to move through a problem situation quickly and find a solution if possible?
The word Acceptance is my mantra for 2025 and ironically last week I received this from Amy saying, “Your emails are always on point! Thank you for your wonderful insight. This is speaking to my plan for the year. I went to a networking event this week and they asked everyone to pick a word for the year. Mine was “Explore”! Time to put off making vacation plans for “the right time”. Just do it. As you perfectly stated there is no Someday in the week.
Thank you for continuing to be inspiring and thought provoking.”
The key to acceptance is taking responsibility and being accountable when it warrants it. It is not about passing the blame to someone else and/or playing the victim. Some things are out of our control. Like aging! It is just part of life, and I am accepting that there are things I can no long do…and just don’t want to do!
And on a sadder note, the wildfires in LA are beyond devastating! We had one very near our home on Halloween that was vey scary. My heart goes out to all who have been affected.
This week I am going to share my favorite lines that have helped get me through and make me laugh instead of getting upset.
#1. “It is what it is.” – The phrase is not new. Although the origin is uncertain, it has been around for years. “It is what it is” has become the all-purpose alternative to the long-winded explanation.
#2. “Build a bridge and get over it.” – This quote came from Mary Ann, who was one of the Cookie Lee Consultants that I interviewed prior to speaking at their convention in 2004. This is particularly good for the whiners in your life!
#3. “Hakuna Matata” – If you saw Lion King then you know this one. It is a Swahili phrase that literally translated means, “there are no worries.” No problem. Or, as we say in California, “No problema.”
#4. “This too shall pass.” – Buddhist principle: Smile as abuse is hurled your way and this too shall pass.
#5. “Fagetaboutit” – pronounced FAH-get-about-it – This is a Mafia phrase and in English reads “Forget about it.” It is the ultimate line in every mafia movie or TV show that they all use which has multiple meanings. It can mean you will be forgiven. It can mean you won’t and will be killed. (Of course the person hearing it never knows which it means) It can mean whatever happened, happened. I covered for you. “You don’t owe me nothing.” It can mean you do owe me for the rest of your life, or you will be killed. (Of course the person hearing it never knows which it means)
This week focus on acceptance. How do you cope with situations out of your control? Do they cause you to worry, fret or lose sleep? Can you easily handle upsets and move through them?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1064: Someday
January 9, 2025 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1064: Someday
Someday – at some unspecified time in the future.
Is there something you’ve wanted to do that you’ve been postponing? How would it feel to take action on what truly matters?
This week’s WOW from Sam Horn felt like a great start to the New Year!
ANECDOTE
Years ago, a woman came up to me at a conference and asked, “How did you come up with the title of your book ‘Someday is Not a Day in the Week?’”
I told her, “I’ve met so many people over the past few years who talked about what they were going to do… Someday.
Whether it was spend more time with family, take better care of themselves, or pursue a passion project… They told me they planned to do it when they’re not so busy, when their kids go off to college, when they retire, when they have more money, when things aren’t so crazy at work… Fill in the blank.
The problem? Someday often becomes never and the future isn’t guaranteed.
The longer we wait, the harder it becomes to take action on what truly matters.
Let’s stop waiting and start initiating! After all, you will never regret doing more of what puts the light on in your eyes, you will only regret not doing it sooner.
ACTION
- How about you? What is something you want to do that you’ve been postponing for “someday?”
- What is something – even something very small – that could fill your life with joy, purpose and meaning?
- You don’t have to quit your job or abandon your responsibilities, just pick one thing each week that gets you closer to a happier and healthier life.
This week’s focus is on someday. Are there any things that you’ve said you were going to do “someday?” How would it feel to make today the day you start initiating and stop waiting?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1063: Holidays
December 19, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1063: Holidays
Holidays – that “special” time of year that brings joy and/or stress.
How do the holidays make you feel? Do you travel to be with your family? Do you spend time with family that lives out of town? Or do you leave town, so you don’t have to be around any of them?
Since we are “full on” in the Holiday Season, I am taking the liberty of running this past WOW. Long time subscriber John always makes me belly laugh when he replies to my WOW’s. This is what he wrote after my WOW on family.
“I recall a quote from an elderly Aunt of mine back in the 50′s that always stuck in my mind which occurred after a family “tiff” during the annual Thanksgiving family get-together many, many years ago.
Three members of the family were particularly known for getting on each others last nerve. During a particularly “animated discussion” my Aunt, who was known to enjoy her homemade Elderberry wine, stood up and proclaimed, “A toast to Thanksgiving, that special time of the year that we get together to remind us why we all moved apart.”
The saying goes, “You don’t get to pick your family, but you do get to pick your friends.” You may not be able to control their behavior, but you can control yours. You can either choose to not be reactive or to not be around them. My mother used to tell me to “ignore your brother” a lot. As I have gotten older, I am seriously questioning that statement. Is it in anyone’s best interest to ignore certain behavior? What message does that send?
This week’s focus is on the Holidays. Do they make you feel festive and/or joyous? Or do you feel stress? In a perfect world what could you do to make them more joyful? What behavior could you change to reduce your stress?
And just for a little FUN, stressed spelled backwards is desserts! Maybe you need more of those. Here’s to having a wonderful Holiday Season! And I am taking off the next two weeks, so I’ll catch next year.
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Word-Of-the-Week #1062: Presence
December 13, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1062: Presence
Presence – the ability to give your full attention to what’s right in front of you at the moment.
Have you ever been so immersed in an activity that you totally lost track of time? How often do you find yourself getting distracted?
This week’s WOW “The Power of Presence” is another great article from longtime friend Bill Marvin, The Restaurant Doctor.
- Presence and Enjoyment
There’s a direct connection between your level of presence and the enjoyment you derive from what you’re doing.
Have you ever been so immersed in an activity that you totally lost track of time? If so, you’ve had the experience of operating in a state of high presence. You were in the moment without distracting thoughts.
If you find your job irritating, the only problem may be that you’re distracted. Quiet your mind, drop distractions, slow down to the speed of life, and see how enjoyable things will suddenly become. Anything worth doing is worth doing with your full participation.
- Presence Is a Natural State
Presence isn’t something unnatural — it’s something we’re all born with. Little babies have amazing presence because their heads aren’t yet all cluttered up with thoughts — they only know how to deal with what’s right in front of them at the moment.
This sounds too simple, but look what happens when you bring a newborn baby into a room. Everyone’s attention shifts to the baby. People feel better, start to smile and forget their own problems for a few minutes. The baby isn’t doing anything — it’s just being there — yet everyone around them feels more positive.
We call it the Helium Principle: If you maintain a positive state of mind, other people will naturally rise to that.
This demonstrates the power of presence to make others feel more positive. High presence is our birthright, but it’s also something we can easily lose sight of as the pace of business speeds up, our lives become increasingly complex and we take on more responsibilities.
- Start to Notice
It’s unrealistic to think you will always operate without distractions, but you can start to become aware of distracting thoughts when they start to clutter your mind.
One way to tell this is happening is when the people you’re talking with get restless or when you see a glazed look in their eyes. If your attention wanders off track, so will theirs.
The good news is that simply becoming aware of the fact that you’re distracted will automatically start you self-correcting again. When you notice you’re drifting off track, gently let go of stray thoughts and allow your attention to return to the task at hand.
Your increased presence will make whoever you’re with feel better-served and bring more impact to your message.”
This week’s focus is on presence. How easy is it for you to stay on track when you have a task at hand? How would it feel to exhibit the “Helium Principle” and be the positive that brings others up?
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Word-Of-the-Week #1061: Respond
December 5, 2024 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1061: Respond
Respond – show a response or a reaction to something.
Do you know anyone who has strong opinions that asks for your advice? Does that make you feel like you’re being trapped?
This week features another great article from Sarita’s What do you say Communique‘ monthly e-newsletter, titled “ How to Respond When Someone Asks Your Opinion and You Have Nothing Nice to Say.”
Have you ever been cornered by a colleague and asked a potentially incriminating question: “What do you think about the new boss?” or “What do you think about the co-worker’s new hair cut?” or “What do you think about the CEO’s new (controversial) policy?”
The list of potential gossip-inducing questions is endless. However, the outcome is always the same: Anything you say can and will be used against you!
In order not to get pulled into the he-said-she-said fray, here are THREE OPTIONS for responding when you have nothing nice to say:
- Non-response
In this instance, you choose not to take the bait. You can make non-committal responses such as:
“I’ve been too busy to even think about it.”
“I haven’t even given him much thought.”
“I’m not even going to go there!”
- Throw it Back
Typically, when someone asks “what do YOU think?,” he or she has a strong opinion on the subject. You can capitalize on that, and avoid their trap by responding:
“Sounds like you have some thoughts. What do YOU think?”
Or, combine option # 1 and #2 by saying:
“I haven’t given it much thought. What’s YOUR opinion?”
- Focus on the positive
You can stay out of trouble by focusing on the positive aspect of something. A long list of negative things about a person or situation may come to mind, however there’s always at least a positive thing or two. For example, if someone asks your opinion on the new boss, you can identify a couple strengths you’ve noticed:
“I have to admit, he really is organized and good at goal setting.”
By the way, these strategies can be useful outside of the workplace too. When my daughter was a teenager, I asked her opinion on a new outfit I was wearing. Her tastes and mine differed greatly, especially at that time, so that could have been a losing proposition. She promptly responded using the throw-it-back option:
“Mom, the important thing is what do YOU think of your new outfit?!”
Lastly, I should point out that there are times when friends and colleagues legitimately ask for and want our feedback. The important thing here is to be as honest as possible without being harsh. In these cases, we can use a version of Option #3 by focusing on the positive.
Here are some examples of how you can focus on the positive by offering constructive suggestions:
“What did you think of my presentation?”
You’re thinking: “It was monotone & boring.”
Instead say: “I think that adding a little more inflection in your voice and a couple personal stories would be great!”
“What do you think of my idea?
You’re thinking: “Dumbest idea I’ve ever heard!”
Instead say: “I’m concerned that the strategy may not succeed because of our limited budget. How can you overcome that?”
So, there you have it…three ways to share your not-so-nice opinion in a constructive way!
This week’s focus is on how to respond. Have you ever chosen to be non-committal? Or thrown the question back at them? How easy is it for you to be honest without being harsh and say something positive?
Sarita’s book, “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? is available on Amazon.com.
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