Word-Of-the-Week #1012: Joy
December 28, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1012: Joy
Joy – a deep feeling of happiness or contentment.
Do you know that feeling joy is strongly associated with subjective well-being, which is essential for human flourishing? When was the last time you felt connected, or reunited with something or someone that’s really important to you?
This week features excerpts from Washington Post writer Richard Sima, “Want to feel happier? Try snacking on joy. Learning to find the joy in mundane experiences is a way to cultivate a more meaningful life. I ran this last year and updated it by adding “My Joy Jar” experience.
“Here’s an antidote to an ever-stressful, busy and uncertain world. Try finding and savoring little bites of joy in your day. I call them “joy” snacks.
By mindfully tuning into the pleasant, nice and sometimes routine experiences of every day, we can transform an otherwise mundane moment into something more meaningful and even joyful.
Lunch with a co-worker. Walking the dog. Texting with a friend. Watching a favorite show. Eating a favorite meal. Calling your mom. Just hanging out.
New research shows that finding and savoring these nuggets of joy can be a way of consistently cultivating a good, meaningful life.
Understanding the science of joy
Surprisingly, joy has been relatively neglected by scholars.
But recent research suggests that joy is a distinct positive emotion for “when we feel connected, or reunited with something or someone that’s really important to us,” said Philip Watkins, psychologist who studies joy, gratitude and happiness at Eastern Washington University.
Big events like weddings or reunions are well-known smorgasbords for joy. But smaller bites of joy in everyday life matter, too, and are easier to attain if we don’t overlook them.
Previous research has shown we derive meaning in life from three key factors — feeling like our life makes sense, having a purpose driven by goals we care about and feeling like our lives matter.
A February study published in Nature Human Behavior involving more than 3,000 participants across multiple experiments reported that valuing one’s life experiences, or experiential appreciation, is another potent way of making life feel more meaningful.
There is also joy to be had when you take the time to reconnect with the person that is always with you: yourself.”
In September I took a trip to Chicago (where I lived in the 1980’s) with my niece. We had such a great time and when I got home, I was filled with so much joy! And I thought to myself, My Joy Jar is full!
So, this year my holiday gift to my special friends was a Joy Jar that I made. The concept is to fill it with experiences or thoughts that make you feel happy and joyful. It can be something little or something profound. Hopefully, you find at least one thing per day that makes you happy, write it down and put it into the jar. After a month, a few months, a year, or whenever you are feeling down and need a pick me up, pull out a note and read it and remember how it made you feel happy and joyful.
This week’s focus is on feeling joy. Do you feel that your life makes sense and that it matters? Does your life feel purpose driven by goals you care about? Have you taken time to reconnect with yourself? How would it feel to find and savor little bites of joy in your day?
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.
Word-Of-the-Week #1011: Time
December 21, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1011: Time
Time – what seems to go faster the older you get and what we wish we had more of sometimes.
How well do you manage your time? Do you show up for work or social events on time? Do you feel like you always need more time to finish projects?
This word came to mind as a lot of holiday shoppers wait until the last possible moment to do their shopping. It seems as though the majority of American’s have a tendency to put off doing things until they have no other option.
People living in the Midwest & East, and those sending gifts to those areas are in for a big disappointment as the weather and overloaded systems at both UPS and FedEx have caused major delays in the past. Even parts of the West and South have been affected. Lots of gifts never make it for Christmas. That would a BIG bummer if I had kids!
One of the things that I have diligently worked on over the past 20 years is being on time. I always think I have MORE time than I do or that a project will take less time than it does. Anybody else like me? Knowing that, I now “pad my time.” If I think it will take and hour I plan on two. Plus, I even set my clocks ahead by 5 minutes. Waiting until the last minute makes me feel more stressed out which isn’t any FUN at all!
Then there’s my dear sweet husband who I have titled, “Mr. DIN” Do It Now. He is always ahead of the game. He doesn’t like putting anything off until the last minute. He’s all packed a week before we go on vacation. At times it’s a bit of a challenge for me. But I would take that behavior over procrastination any day of the week! And now I even pretend I am leaving the day before vacations so that I am all ready.
This week’s focus is time and how you feel about it. Are you habitually late? Does that cause problems at home or at work? Are you always on time and waiting for others? How does that make you feel? What could you do to better manage your time?
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.
Word-Of-the-Week #1010: Defining Moment
December 14, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1010: Defining Moment
Defining Moment – an experience that transcends an ordinary experience.
When was the last time you had an experience that surpassed your expectations? Have you ever created a defining moment for one of your guests, clients, customers, members, family, or friends? Who do you know that doesn’t like a nice surprise?
San Diego UT columnist Neil Senturia on “Elevating the ordinary into life-changing stuff” once again makes a great focus for our week.
“Why do we remember things? And how does memory influence customer retention and satisfaction?
When my daughter was younger, and I was still CEO-ing at full tilt, I would gather the junk that the vendors/booths were giving away when I went to a conference. I was really good at scoring pocket calculators (1996-8), which I would send to my daughter who was 11 at the time. She loved them. Now here it is 21 years later and when I get junk from a conference, I send it to her with a note telling her “that there were no pocket calculators available.” She loves it (the last item I sent was a rubber shrimp, since I am now in the sustainable fish racket).
The point of the story is a simple one. We had created “a moment” that informed our relationship forever. Meet Chip and Dan Heath, MBA graduates of Stanford and Duke, who have written a book, “The Power of Moments.” They did some research and found that the top four hotels in Los Angeles on TripAdvisor are the Beverly Hills Hotel ($875/night), the Hotel Bel Air ($1,120/night), the Peninsula ($815/night) and the fourth one is the Magic Castle Hotel ($209/night). Heath describes it as “a converted two-story apartment complex from the 1950s, painted canary yellow with an Olympic size pool, if the Olympics were held in your backyard.”
How does this happen you might ask? Heath says that the hotel creates “defining moments.” The hotel has the “Popsicle Hotline.” You pick up a red phone at the pool and you hear “Hello, Popsicle Hotline.” You then request a Popsicle in the flavor of your choice, and an employee wearing white gloves delivers it to you on a silver platter. That’s it – just a Popsicle.
Now think this one through carefully. The Popsicle costs 10 cents, the employee is already on a salary, the white gloves are washable, the silver platter is not sterling, so the total cost of this extravaganza, this defining moment, this “are you kidding me” experience on a unit-cost-basis is well under $3 – all in. Yet, the customer is nutso, over the top, wow, and the hotel runs 95 percent occupied and is No. 4 on TripAdvisor. You gotta love America.
The Heath brothers had discovered the power of “elevation moments” that transcend ordinary experience. The “I didn’t see that coming” moment – a special glass of wine on the house, a surprise at work, where the cost of the surprise, or the over-the-top delivery is de minimis compared to its effect. They call this the “Power of the Free Popsicle.”
Rule No. 554: Surprise! It’s the little things, stupid.
Heath then goes on to mention three other kinds of defining moments – “insightful moments,” (e.g. the discovery of Velcro), moments of pride (think employee recognition) and moments of connection (think weddings and graduations).
The key is that all of these need to be in the service of the customer or your employee. Heath says, “You don’t have to excel at everything, you only have to excel at a few things that are going to be memorable.” He calls these “peaks.” We know that getting a customer is hard, but once gotten, you should never lose one, never. Whatever it takes. Think about your own relationships with vendors. There are some that you would never switch from. They own you, they have a “connection,” because they never let you down, and occasionally, they just dazzle you. Heath tells of a bank manager who personally delivers the deed to your house when you have paid off the mortgage.
Heath also looks at the power of “pits,” what he calls negative experiences, put downs. He tells the story of Sara Blakely, whose dad would ask at dinner, “What did you fail at today?” And a few years later, when the old white guys told her that footless panty hose was stupid, she went and started Spanx and became the youngest self-made billionaire in history. I love these stories.
You can learn from experiences (pits) and you can create them for others (peaks). But in the end, Heath focuses on one word – delight. You do not need to be perfect, you can apologize for mistakes, but every once in a while, if you just blow their doors off, they never leave you.
This week’s focus is on creating a defining moment. How easy is it for you to remember “over the top” experiences you’ve had? Did they make you want to do more business with that person or company? What one thing could you do to create an “elevation moment” for your guests, clients, customers, members, family, or friends?
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.
Word-Of-the-Week #1009: Assumption
December 7, 2023 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #1009: Assumption
Assumption – something taken for granted or accepted as true without proof.
Do you ever question what you are told? Do you repeat things you’ve heard without verifying they are true? Can you sense when someone is telling you “facts” that are really their assumptions?
Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, once again has great insight to share.
He writes, “More problems are caused by assumptions than perhaps any other single source. Yet, many people make most of their decisions based on assumptions rather than checking out what’s real. There are several reasons for this.”
“First, it’s easy. You’re ready for a decision right now, no efforting required.
Second, it lets you feel really smart, or at least appear to be. Sometimes we feel the need to be the ‘smart one’ in the room.
Third, by assuming, you don’t have to look at what’s real, which may be what you don’t want to see.
Fourth, well, the list of reasons to assume is endless. The question is, ‘What is a better strategy?’
Try asking questions instead of telling what you assume. Try listening instead of talking. Try waiting for clarity instead of having a shoot-from-the-hip ‘answer.’
Before you repeat something you read on the Internet or had a friend tell you came from the neighbor of their cousin’s sister’s husband, do a little research. Check out the facts. Apply a little logic. Ask “does this seem reasonable?”
Look at your personal history and see if you’ve made some incorrect assumptions which cost you. There is really no reason to base the success of your life on assumptions. It’s a flawed strategy.
- Coaching Point: Do you remember how you feel when you sense that what someone is telling you as fact is really just their assumption? Do you want others to feel that when you speak?”
— Copyright 2023 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. —
I clearly was not of sound mind when I agreed to be the President of my HOA back in 2010. But in retrospect, I learned a lot. Assumption and over reaction are two of the biggest time wasters I took away from that. And I believe that you lose credibility every time you go there. My new favorite line is, “get me the facts.” This week focus on Steve’s Coaching Point.
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.