Word-Of-the-Week #908: Intention
December 30, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #908: Intention
Intention – a course of action that one intends to follow.
Is the life you’re living satisfying and fulfilling? Is there any part you would like to change? Are your personal and business relationships as harmonious as you would like?
We are starting a brand-new year and there will be lots of talk about making New Year’s resolutions. In one study, only around 12% of people who make New Year’s resolutions felt that they were successful in achieving their goals. I’m sharing one of the best pieces of advice I got from Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING on Intention.
“Occasionally you hear, ‘I’ve set an intention.’ Or, ‘I have a powerful intention.’ Or, ‘My intention is strong.’ Or even, ‘The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.’ In this light intentions sound like something you do, actions on your part. There’s another view.
Intentions simply are. They are to be discovered, not set, played with, not labored over. Intentions serve you rather than the other way around. If this is so, what sort of shift might you make? And why would you?
Where do intentions come from? They come from a soft, gentle, quiet place. They come from your life purpose, your journey, the why-you’re-here place.
Can you make an intention up and then work at it really hard? Sure. But that’s probably based on some unmet need, a perceived ‘missing’ in your life, or some other feeling of not having enough. You’re using an intention to try to accomplish something which may not even be related to what your life is really about. Visit with some old people to learn the wisdom of this. They tell stories of efforting toward what turned out to be empty outcomes.
A real intention is much cleaner than that. And simpler. Intentions come from your future, the unfoldment of your journey. Intentions pull you toward them. Intentions encourage.
Useful goals, desires, and objectives each probably have an embedded intention. Discover the intention within and let it guide.
Coaching Point: Have you yet learned to listen to the soft voice of your intentions?”
Copyright 2021 Steve Straus. All rights reserved
I don’t know about you but the first week of the New Year is crazy busy for me. While I am not complaining it reminds me that when I am fully prepared ahead of time it makes for a lot less stress and more FUN! So that is one on my intentions for 2022. Along with only having kind, loving and joyful people in my life!
This week is about creating an intention. Do you know what your life purpose is? What course of action do you intend to follow to make that happen? The clearer and more specific you are regarding an intention makes it that much easier to achieve!
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Word-Of-the-Week #907: Levity
December 23, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #907: Levity
Levity – humor, merriment, or a lack of seriousness.
Do you know that the lack of laughter actually impacts your happiness? Do you know that offensive humor can actually enlighten and make us more aware of our own bigotries?
This week San Diego UT columnist Neil Senturia has more good insights to share and a great follow up to last week with, ”Levity seriously still important management tool at work.”
“Spoiler alert. This column runs the serious risk of not being politically correct. Just read or rip it up, but don’t send me emails telling me that I am an insensitive lout who doesn’t get it.
It turns out, no surprise, that humor in the workplace (not the wokeplace) is serious business. Two Stanford professors, Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas, actually teach a course on the subject. They say, “humor is an under-leveraged superpower in business.”
Cue laugh track here.
When it comes to coaching CEOs, I am a strong advocate for a few things. First, a few years of psychotherapy would certainly do no harm. Second, taking some classes in improvisation could be very helpful. Everyone thinks they can think on their feet, but most of us are wearing two left shoes (high heels included) and it is a studied art. It can be learned, and it is powerful, but it is not the natural default.
And finally, learning to laugh at yourself is an excellent first assignment. Telling a joke is hard to do well, making people feel at ease with a humorous turn of phrase takes practice, and creating comfortable humor in the workplace without getting sued or fired is, at the moment, very challenging.
Many studies show with absolute certainty, if you laugh, you will live longer. Chuckling only adds a few years; you need to let it out loud.
Bagdonas says, “Laughing actually changes the chemistry of our brains, making us more creative, bonded and resilient.” She says that humor is an “elixir for trust and an antidote to arrogance.” But what I think is funny may not match what you think. And the dark but true side is that humor has at its core the concepts of irreverence, making fun of and causing some level of embarrassment. Someone or something gets called out. Whether it is Bill Maher, Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Silverman, Larry David, Dave Chappelle. They all leverage some unspoken rules that put us on the side of “we get it,” and some of that “getting it” is stereotypical and racist and rude.
A recent “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode has a scene with two Black men feeling good about themselves and their desire to eat watermelon. I assure you this was both funny and offensive at the same time. Consider the ground-breaking sitcom, “All In The Family.” Archie Bunker was hilarious and outrageous and insulted every ethnic category, but at its core, and this is crucial, while we laughed at one moment, in the next, the humor also enlightened and made us more aware of our own bigotries.
Now in 2021, it seems that we are tipping (in my humble opinion) to the other end of the scale, where even knock-knock jokes are suspect in the workplace or in the public square. One of the unintended consequences of cancel culture and political correctness is that the lack of laughter actually impacts your happiness.
Bagdonas and Aaker play it safe and obvious. They say, “never punch down or make fun of someone of lower status.” No argument there, but that does limit some of your best shots on goal. Finding just the right edge of humor to balance on is the whole game.
Seriously folks, (that is a trick word, designed to let you get away with a barb and then take it back at the same time), you cannot demean or humiliate, and for a complete list of forbiddens, consult your mother or your HR director.
But, if a CEO/leader can find that small space (a lot smaller than it used to be) to stand where he or she can engage the team with humor, where a shared laugh breeds community and collegiality, and finally, where the humor increases the humanity of the recipients, then that is the “right stuff.” The best humor can ease an awkward pain and create a shared bond.
It is proven that physical laughter decreases stress hormones, increases immune cells, releases endorphins and creates infection-fighting antibodies. So, my next company is going to make a medical device that uses artificial intelligence to channel Groucho Marx and is embedded in your frontal cortex so that in moments of stress, if you say the magic word, the duck will come down and give you $50.”
- Rule No. 692: Quack, quack.
This week’s focus is levity! Would you like to be more creative? How often do you laugh out loud? How would your staff or co-workers rate you on your sense of humor?
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Word-Of-the-Week #906: FUN!
December 16, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #906: FUN!
FUN – a source of enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure.
When was the last time you felt enjoyment? Or did something that brought you pleasure?
This week’s WOW comes from the Sunday Parade Magazine “A recipe for MORE FUN,” by Dillon Dodson.
“Sometimes what’s supposed to be the jolliest time of the year turns into a mad rush that’s not so fun. Science journalist Catherine Price, author of “The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again,” has the antidote for that: Put down your attention-seeking phones, apps and other media and focus on real fun, what she calls ‘the confluence of playfulness, connections and flow.’ Here’s her advice for finding more ‘true fun’ in your daily life.
- GET MOVING – Physical movement and/or being outdoors contribute to fun, Price’s research confirms. Try activities such as biking or swing dancing or even cleaning the house to your favorite music. Or simply take a walk outside and breathe some fresh air.
- LOOK FOR JOY – Take note of what makes you happy. ‘Calling out those tiny moments and giving them weight really boost my mood. I encourage people to keep a journal to note those moments throughout your day,” Price says.
- CONNECT – COVID-induced quarantine has increase feelings of isolation, but (safe) human connection will always be important. ‘In my own research, when people described past experiences of true fun, the vast majority involved other people, even for self-described introverts,’ she says.
- AND DISCONNECT – She calls binge-watching and social media interaction ‘fake fun.’ Those activities ‘are designed to be very compelling and make you want to consume ii in excess, but it makes you feel worse afterwards.’ Recognize fake fun and start to replace it with real-life interactions or other more tangible things that give you joy.
- DECOUPLE MONEY FROM TIME – ‘We’ve been conditioned to believe that any use of time that does not result in being financially compensated is not good.’ But when expensive products are marketed to us as enjoyable, how much more do we work to pay for them? ‘Fun actually boosts our productivity because it lets us take a break. It’s much more restorative than other things we do with our leisure time. But it should be its own reward.’
This week’s focus is to have FUN! When was the last time you were out experiencing nature? Do you know what brings you true joy? Are you addicted to your devices? I play golf twice a week and I can’t believe people who have their phones with them. Seriously! You’ll never play your best game if you’re distracted.
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Word-Of-the-Week #905: Recalculating
December 13, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #905: Recalculating
Recalculating – re-thinking and or re-planning in order to eliminate errors or to incorporate additional factors or data.
Have you arrived at your “perfect job” destination? Are you living the life you dreamed of? Do you ever feel you are off track?
I am taking the liberty to rerun this WOW. It came up for me personally as its how I feel about parts of my life right now. I probably have 25% to 30% of my life left and that has caused me to think about how I want to spend that precious time. “So instead of accepting things I cannot change, I am changing things I cannot accept.” I am recalculating relationships. Ironically I have a number of friends who are doing the same thing.
Henry DeVries, assistant dean for external affairs UC San Diego, featured a UT article titled, “Recalculating the next career step.” He writes, When Karen Jacobsen walks on a stage, there is no question she is in the driver’s seat. Known as The GPS Girl, Jacobsen’s speaking voice is in over 100 million GPS units giving drivers directions worldwide as “Australian Karen.”
“You could say I specialize in telling people where to go,” says Jacobsen, an Aussie who moved to New York over a decade ago and had an unexpected twist in her singing career when she got a 50-hour voiceover gig giving driving directions.
Today she is also an author who speaks to audiences on how to create a road map for their future. Jacobsen, who is also the Australian voice of Siri for the Apple iPhone, has appeared on ABC World News Tonight, the NBC Today Show, the CBS Early Show, in the New York Times, Glamour magazine and was named one of People magazine’s Most Intriguing People.
In her book, “The GPS Girl’s Road Map for Your Future,” she writes about how to listen to your Inner GPS and to ‘recalculate at any time in life’ just as we do when driving. She knows drivers hate it when they get off course and hear her say, “recalculating,” but she loves the word.
“I think the word recalculating is actually good news,” says Jacobsen. “It may mean you have been off track, but by the time you hear the word recalculating, you are already back on the right road. Recalculating is how I got from the Great Barrier Reef to the Big Apple.”
This week’s focus is on listening to your inner GPS. Are you in the Driver’s seat or the Passenger’s seat? Is there a part of your life that needs recalculating? How would it feel to create a new road map?
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Word-Of-the-Week #904: Supererogate
December 2, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #904: Supererogate
Supererogate – to do more than is required, ordered, or expected.
Would your boss say that you go “above and beyond” what is expected? Would your co-workers say you are a good team player? Have you ever seen this word before? It’s new to me!
This week’s WOW comes from long time subscriber and friend Joe.
“Susan: A strong work ethic was never a question whether as a student or an employee.
I learned first and foremost not to procrastinate. I never put off to tomorrow what I could do today. Even as a grade school and high school student, I made it a point of getting to my studies right after dinner. As a collegian, I stayed on top of the many reading assignments well ahead of time so that I would not be cramming at finals time.
Since I worked at most four nights a week, in addition to attending college, I had no choice but to manage all of the time during my week. There was no time to waste.
In every job I worked, I made it a point to be on time, and if I knew that I was going to be delayed, I called ahead to let them know why and when I would arrive. That is basic. Invariably, there were times when someone did not show up and I would have to come in to work their shift or stay at work until the next guy arrived. As you know, Susan, in the restaurant industry especially, people do not show up for work. It happens.
Even in those cases, I did not complain. I just did whatever I could to help the company. Most of the time it was appreciated. When I washed dishes at a Big Boy as a high school senior, a co-worker did not show up to work on my night off. When the supervisor called to ask if I could come in, I said I would. After washing dishes for a half hour, he brought me back a steak dinner as a thank you. Now, he did not have to do that, but it showed his appreciation to me for coming in when I was needed.
We all do what we have to do to help the team. I have always been a team player in any job I have ever held. I have always gone above and beyond what was needed. There’s a word for that Susan, it is called SUPEREROGATION.”
And I have always said, “Service makes the food taste better.” And it applies to wine tastings too! In October we took our annual road trip to Paso Robles and decided to revisit Calcareous Vineyard. We had been wine club members several years back. Cody was our tasting server and we rated him 10++! It was one of the best experiences we have ever had. He was personable and passionate along with a great personality.
This week’s focus is to supererogate. When was the last time you experienced service that was so unexpected you were blown away? Have you ever done more than what was required or expected? How did that make you feel?
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