Word-Of-the-Week #877: Savor
May 27, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #877: Savor
Savor – to appreciate fully; enjoy or relish.
Are you feeling hope is on the horizon? Can you find the enjoyment of the simple things in life?
This week contains excerpts from the UT article by A.C. Shilton, “The daily practice of happiness: Many are filled with joy this spring as the world slowly returns to normal. Here’s how to prolong that feeling.”
“The birds are chirping, a warm breeze is blowing, and some of your friends are getting vaccinated. After a year of anxiety and stress, many of us are rediscovering what optimism feels like. And the good news about an increase in available vaccines could not come at a more joyous time.
Spring is the season of optimism. With it comes more natural light and warm weather, both great mood boosters, and some of our most hopeful religious holidays: Easter, Passover, the Hindu festival of Holi, and Nowruz, the Persian new year that celebrates springtime and renewal.
But if you’re expecting your happiness to skyrocket the moment we finish off this pandemic once and for all, think again.
Yes, receiving your vaccine shot, daydreaming about intimate dinner parties or those first hugs with grandchildren may give you a jolt of joy, but euphoria, unfortunately, tends to be fleeting.
Blame “hedonic adaptation,” said Rhea Owens, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota Duluth, who conducts research on positive psychology interventions in counseling practices. When good (or bad) things happen, we feel an initial surge or dip in our overall happiness levels. Hedonic adaptation means that, over time, we settle back into wherever we were happiness-wise before that good or bad event happened. Even if the good thing — like getting your dream job — is continuing. 
To maintain those positive feelings, you are going to need to work on it a bit.
Thank evolution.
“Our brains developed biologically for survival, not happiness,” said Sanjay Kumar, director of contemplative practices and well-being at the Fish Interfaith Center at Chapman University in Orange. The human mind, he added, “prioritizes negative experiences to be remembered more strongly than positive ones, as a way for us to anticipate potential threats in our environment.”
While that’s good for evolution, excessive worry isn’t anyone’s idea of a happy state of mind.
Ultimately, happiness is more of a daily practice than anything else, Kumar said. Which is why getting your coronavirus shot may make you happy for a moment but won’t bring you long term happiness. The good news is that researchers have found steps that will (and no needles are required). Even better: These strategies work perfectly in a moment like this — when hope is on the horizon, but the path toward it isn’t clear.
- Savor this — and everything
Your first-time hugging friends in a year is going to be so sweet, you’ll undoubtedly savor every moment of it. But there is joy in everyday things, too. Spring seems especially full of good moments for savoring — like finding the shell of a just hatched robin’s egg, spying a chorus of daffodils in a local yard or just feeling the sun of a spring day on bare arms. Even the mundane things — like watching yet another youth soccer game — can feel special if you take a moment to remember the not-so-distant past when so much of our lives was put on hold.
Owens recommends simply taking the time whenever something good happens — no matter how small — to really acknowledge it.”
This week’s focus is on being able to savor everything! Are you fully appreciating your life and surroundings? Can you focus on your positive thoughts and overcome the negative ones? Can you find joy even in the mundane?
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Word-Of-the-Week #876: Equanimity
May 20, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #876: Equanimity
Equanimity – a stable, calm state of the emotions.
Are you able to stay calm during times of high stress? Do you take the ups and downs of life in stride rather than getting inundated by them?
Once again, Steve Straus, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING, sent a very thought provoking piece.
Great Question: Equanimity?
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This week’s focus is on equanimity. Are you able to not take everything that happens to you personally? Have you spent time thinking about what really matters to you?
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Word-Of-the-Week #875: Tolerate
May 13, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #875: Tolerate
Tolerate – put up with something or somebody unpleasant.
How often do you find yourself putting up with something or somebody being unpleasant? How do you deal with it? Do you retreat or address the situation or person?
This word has been on my mind because I realized that I have been tolerating behavior that just doesn’t make me feel good. I was raised on the Golden Rule and repeatedly told by my mother “you treat people the way you want to be treated.”
As I have said in the past, “I think the pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in people.” And it has made me seriously think about all the relationships in my life and decide which one’s make me feel good and which one’s don’t.
The ones that make me feel good are the ones that are mutually rewarding and gratifying. Where each person values the relationship, the experiences we share, and is filled with love and caring thoughts. I find myself gravitating to the people who mirror those same behaviors. And just not wanting to be around those that do not.
Are you able to distance yourself from and ignore unpleasant people? Have you ever tried to “kill someone with kindness?” The “Shock Factor” works wonders and one I have used a lot. One of my favorite lines is, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day” when someone says something that’s not kind or feels hurtful. And lastly it is easier to change your behavior than to try and change someone else’s behavior!
This wikiHow post has a lot of good ways to deal with somebody unpleasant, so they don’t make your life unpleasant. All I can say is the older I get the less and less I want to tolerate anything. Life is just too short!
This week’s focus is on what you’re willing to tolerate or not. Have you noticed any persistent patterns of behavior that don’t feel good to you? Are you clear about what your personal values and boundaries are? How comfortable are you in expressing those feelings?
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FUN-photos: Desert Road Trip – April 2021
May 10, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on FUN-photos: Desert Road Trip – April 2021
Girls Looking for Pearls – Joshua Tree & Borrego Springs!
Sandra and I headed out taking as many back roads as we could… and so ready for some “planned spontaneity!”
- 1st Stop – Temecula Olive Oil Company where we had an olive oil and flavored vinegar pairing – YUMMY!
- 2nd Stop – Idyllwild for lunch – more YUMMY!
We stayed 2 nights at the Caravan House Airbnb – total bohemian vibe – and short walking distance to town.
Day 3 – we headed off for 2 nights at Rams Hill in Borrego Springs – taking in the humongus metal sculptures farthest from us on our way in.
Day 4 – more exploring to see sculptures and massages at La Casa Del Zorro – MMMM! AAAHHH!
Day 5 – heading home
- 1st Stop – Christmas Circle where we just happened to stumble upon the Farmers Market!
- 2nd Stop – Dudleys for their YUMMY bread.
- 3rd Stop – Julian for lunch and a stroll through town.
Stay Tuned…for more Girls Looking For Pearls…Sedona here we come! 🙂
Word-Of-the-Week #874: Authentic
May 6, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #874: Authentic
Authentic – being genuinely and truly who you are.
What do you aspire to be? What is the unique value that you have to offer? If you need help who do you know that has a style, behavior, or an approach that you admire?
This week’s WOW features the last half of “How to Be Fabulous,” by Kerry Manning.
To Recap: 1. Positivity 2. Inspiration 3. Motivation
My favorite quote is this one from Dr Seuss.
“Today you are you, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive that is youer than you.”
When we are authentic, we are fabulous. So how do you embrace your Fabulousness?
There are 6 principles of fabulousness that I have figured out.
- Creativity
I believe that everyone is creative. Some people paint or draw, and others might be creative in the kitchen or through crafts. I have been teaching crafts for many years and I just love the light that comes on when people are being creative.
It is simply fuel for the soul. We spend so much of our lives giving to others but we need to refuel. Eating well, drinking water and exercise are all important but being creative is essential.
You don’t need a lot of money to get started. Simply start in your daily life. Rearrange furniture or ornaments, write in a journal, tap into your creative well.
Add it into your mix and you will become even more fabulous.
- Networking
Networking is an essential pillar of fabulousness for me. When you say networking to some people, a switch goes off. They are not in business, don’t have a business card and are not interested in getting up at 6 in the morning for a meet-up where business cards are swapped.
Networking is simple and it has been done since the beginning of time. You know that person that is connected to everyone? You know if you call them they will know someone who can help. She is a supreme networker.
We network in our daily lives every day and through this we create our circle – our network.
The thing to remember about networking is that it is relational not transactional. Networking is not about making a sale or a deal, it is simply about getting to know more people.
We can use networking to surround ourselves with positive people who will motivate us, inspire us and spark our creativity too.
- Appearance
Now, I know that I like pretty party dresses. I feel great if my hair looks great and I do love make-up. But that is just me.
For many years I didn’t embrace this side of me. I suffered from depression and cried so much that there was little point in make-up. I felt really ugly and fat because I listened to the criticism around me.
One day I made the decision to be fabulous and I need to tell you that I had to fake it for a while. Every day I got up and got dressed. I did my hair and accessorized. I took a make-up lesson and made a commitment to wearing make-up most days.
I feel that this is me – at my best, my most fabulous.
When I was all ‘dolled-up’ I felt better. I felt like the best version of me possible.
I just want to make a point here, that if you feel the best that you can be wearing jeans and a check shirt, that is ok too. What you want to tap into is dressing as you, to feel like the best of version of you.
It is a funny thing because when you tap into your fabulousness, people notice what you are wearing less, they notice how you feel and the energy you are putting out.
This week’s focus is on being your authentic self! What creative outlets or hobbies do you have? Do you feel like you are the best version of yourself? Do you consistently exhibit your own authentic behavior?
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