Word-Of-the-Week #868: Reflect
March 25, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #868: Reflect
Reflect – to think, ponder, or meditate.
Have you spent any time over the last year to reflect on your life? Are there any experiences you would like to have or things you want to do but haven’t yet?
This week features an email that I received from one of my dear friends Carol. And a great follow up to the WOW on Regret.
THE AUTHOR IS NOT KNOWN.
IT WAS FOUND IN THE BILLFOLD OF COACH PAUL BEAR BRYANT,
ALABAMA, AFTER HE DIED IN 1982
The Magic Bank Account
Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400
In your private account for your use.
However, this prize has Rules:
The set of Rules:
1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
3. You may only spend It.
4. Each morning upon awakening,
The bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that Day.
5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say, Game Over!”
It can close the account
And you will not receive a new one.
What would you personally Do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted right? Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?
ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL.
Shocked ???
YES!
Each of us is already a winner Of this *PRIZE*.
We just can’t seem to see it.
The PRIZE is *TIME*
1. Each morning we awaken to Receive 86,400 seconds
As a gift of Life.
2. And when we go to sleep at Night, any remaining time
is Not credited to us.
3. What we haven’t used up that Day is forever lost.
Yesterday is forever Gone.
5. Each morning the account is Refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time…
…WITHOUT WARNING!
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much More than the same amount in dollars.
Think about it and remember to
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
So take care of yourself, be Happy, love deeply and enjoy life!
Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.
Start spending….
“DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT GROWING OLD…!”
SOME PEOPLE DON’T GET THAT PRIVILEGE!
This week’s focus is on taking time to reflect. Are you making the most of the time that you have each day? Does your life seem to be racing by? Are you enjoying the ride?
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Word-Of-the-Week #867: Open-minded
March 18, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #867: Open-minded
Open-minded – receptive to new and different ideas or the opinions of others.
Do you see a disagreement as a threat to your ego, rather than an opportunity to learn? Do you favor the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt?
This week features “Why keeping an open mind is essential,” by UT writer Neil Senturia. He writes,
“Adam Grant, a famous Wharton professor, has a new book, “Think Again.” Don’t think twice. It’s all right. Read it.
I am consumed with trying to make good decisions for myself as well as teaching and coaching others how to make good decisions. This decision-making business does not lend itself to either a simple math problem, or a complex Bayes algorithm.
The reason of course is that it involves humans, not data sets. It has nuances, not right answers. All of our decisions live in the world of timing. Turning left last week was a really good idea, but this week, that road is under repair so I need to turn right, as opposed to simply going left as usual, then honking my horn, sitting there and demanding that the road workers change their plans, rather than me changing mine. After all, I have been turning left at Grand and Garnet for 30 years.
Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize winner in economics and the New York Times bestselling author of “Thinking, Fast and Slow,” writes about Grant’s book and says, “Adam believes that keeping an open mind is a teachable skill.” That idea that re-thinking can be learned is both right and radical, in that the default for most of us is, “I know what I know, don’t try to confuse me with new facts.”
Let’s go back to the turns. Just like having to slow down to make the right turn, it takes brain power and effort to apply the brakes to a previous point of view. Grant says, “Too many of us favor the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt. We see disagreement as a threat to our egos, rather than an opportunity to learn. Being good at thinking can make us worse at re-thinking.”
There you have it. His words are clear, the sentiments are rational and we know that fruits and vegetables are good for us, but could you please pass the pappardelle in the cream sauce. Simply reading the words often has zero effect on changing our behavior.
That is the fishhook in the process. We know the right behavior, but we ignore what we know and default to neurotic or destructive patterns. Grant says, “Argue like you are right, but listen like you are wrong.”
I have a client, Bob, who is young, smart, talented, married, one child with a new one arriving in the next four days. He has been with the company less than a year. The CEO asks him to prepare something important for a board of directors meeting in the next few days. Board v. baby. You can see that there is a timing disconnect. But, also an opportunity.
I suggest to Bob that he should explain to the CEO that while he wants to be a good and effective employee, he also wants to be a good husband and father. Bob is afraid that saying that would slow up his rise to the C-suite and might adversely affect his compensation and where he sits in the CEO’s hierarchy of love and affection.
In my mind, this is a perfect nexus for determining his future at the company. If he tells the CEO that the next few weeks are going to be very limited work and that he is putting his wife and new son first, then two things are possible. The CEO says that sounds great, family first, come back full time when you feel comfortable. Or he says, deeply disappointed, Bob, in your priorities. When you come back, I hope there will still be a place for you.
Now Bob has a perfect opportunity to test his thinking about the true culture and future at this company and does he want to work there. You may remember a couple of weeks ago I wrote about entrepreneurs and self-compassion, that it is OK to take a nap, it is OK to not be 24×7, to let go of the imposter syndrome. Bob has this moment to deal with old fears of rejection that are no longer true.
And lurking at the edge of the Bob story is the universal desire for conflict-avoidance. But that is a two-edged sword. If you avoid conflict with your boss, it is almost certain that conflict is coming with your bride. And you will remember her disappointment for much longer than the Board will remember that deck.”
Rule No. 657: Hit the brakes, right turn ahead.
This week’s focus is on being open-minded. How receptive are you to new and different ideas or the opinions of others? Do you believe that keeping an open mind is a teachable skill? How would it feel to argue like you are right, but listen like you are wrong?
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Word-Of-the-Week #866: Regrets
March 11, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #866: Regrets
Regrets – feelings of sorrow, disappointment, distress, or remorse about something that one wishes could be different.
Do you ever look back on your past with feelings of regret? Or have you made peace with your past so you can move on?
This week features long time friend and subscriber Joe’s response to the WOW on enjoyment. He writes,
“One of the most important of those points is in making peace with our pasts.
There are so many people who continue to regret what happened, regret what they said, regret what they did in their pasts. It reminds me of a line from a Bob Seger song, “I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.” That basically says, “I wish I coulda shoulda woulda.”
But they didn’t, and now they are going back over their pasts and trying to fix it. 
But it’s done. What’s done is done. Move on. LIVE!
By continuing to live in the past, we lose tomorrow.
Once we make peace with our pasts and realize that those mistakes made us who we are today. The key is to not repeat those mistakes again.
We have to enjoy today. This day, WILL NEVER COME AGAIN. So, enjoy it.
Jim Valvano, the late basketball coach of North Carolina State University, said we should do three things every day: “Laugh, think and have your emotions move you to tears. If you do those three things every day, that’s a helluva week.”
It is also so important to simply be nice to people. If there is anything I have experienced in life is that karma is for real. How you treat people every day of your life comes back to you.
I have experienced so much goodness simply by treating people well or just lending a helping hand. We never know when it will come back to us during our lifetimes.
Susan, I don’t know if you saw the Tom Hanks’ film “A Wonderful Day In the Neighborhood,” which is about Fred Rogers. During one scene he tells the reporter to simply think of all the people who loved him into being. That was one of the most life affirming moments of the film. Many times we don’t think of all of those people who have created who we are.
As I have looked back on so much of my life, I would not change one thing, even with some of the setbacks I have experienced. Because they made me into who I am today.
Great word, Susan.
Don’t worry. BE HAPPY!
Stay well.”
And like Joe, I don’t have any regrets. I’m not proud of some of the things I have done and would have liked moving thru some periods quicker… or done things differently… or made better choices. It’s always easier to see things in hindsight. But I am the sum total of all my experiences…so to have regrets would mean that I am disappointed in myself.
This week’s focus is on not having regrets. Do you believe that everything that has happened in your life has brought you to where you are today? Do you believe in karma and that any negative past behavior can be repaired? Do you want to live in your past or be in the present?
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Word-Of-the-Week #865: Role Model
March 4, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #865: Role Model
Role Model – one who sets a good example.
How many times have you heard, “Actions speak louder than words? Are you a leader that role models the behavior that you would like you staff to exhibit? Do your manager’s role model the behavior they expect of you?
This week features 6 Traits of an Effective Role Model.
Whether you’re managing a restaurant, a convenience store, or any service business, you’re a role model for your staff. Your values, attitudes, and behaviors set the standard for what you expect from others. If you want your employees to treat each other with respect, you must model respectful behavior yourself. If you want your employees to deliver exceptional service, you must treat customers with superior service yourself. It’s your actions – not your policies – that influence the performance of your staff.
Be a Better Role Model
Managers are on stage every day. Employees, customers, vendors, and many others are watching your every move and learning from your behavior. To be an effective role model, you must exemplify these characteristics every day:
Hard work.
Effective role models work hard and pitch in when their staff needs help, always demonstrating a commitment to company goals. No task is below you as a manager. If the floor needs to be mopped and there is no one available to do it, do it yourself, and do it well. Not only does that ensure critical tasks are completed, it also shows employees that the “it’s-not-my-job” mentality isn’t allowed.
- Trust.
Trust isn’t given, it’s earned. Show your team that you can be trusted by always being fair, honest, and consistent. Don’t engage in gossip, and don’t tolerate it within your staff. Employees need to know you have their backs, and you should take every opportunity you can to prove it.
- Accountability.
Role models take responsibility for their actions and inspire others to do the same. If you make a mistake, admit it and let the team know how you plan to correct the situation. Never blame others or make excuses.
- Respect.
Always show respect for all individuals; customers, employees and vendors. Respect is paramount in every situation, and is especially important during situations when you have to correct behavior. Never criticize an employee in public, and keep your feedback focused on the task at hand.
- Positivity.
Business is nothing if not unpredictable. As a manager, you need to be prepared to deal with high stress situations. Your team will be watching closely as you handle challenges. If you overreact or get easily overwhelmed, your staff will be inclined to do the same. Model the positive behavior you expect from your staff.
- Persistence.
Steady persistence in the face of obstacles or difficulties means your team can count on you in tough times. Don’t abandon tasks when times are tough, approach them with a sense of urgency and resolve.
- Integrity.
You must follow every rule you expect your staff to follow. Some managers think their position allows them bend the rules here and there. Not so. Being on time, staying productive, and following all company policies is critical to being an effective role model.
This week’s focus is on role modeling. Have you earned the respect of your staff or co-workers? Do you take responsibility for your actions and inspire others to do the same? Are you able to stay positive in high stress situations? Do you have integrity and follow the rules?
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