Word-Of-the-Week #756: Fearless
January 31, 2019 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #756: Fearless
Fearless – bold or brave.
Are you unafraid to try or learn new things? Would you say you are open-minded? How active are you on a daily basis?
This week features the 1st part of Kavita Daswani’s LA Times article, “To feel rejuvenated at age 95, try living fearlessly.”
“Phyllis Sues has never exactly rushed into things.
She launched a business at 50 and became a trapeze enthusiast at 75. At 85, she took her first yoga lesson, got into tango dancing shortly after, and jumped out of a plane at 90.
Now, at 95, Sues — who lives in an elegant home above Sunset Plaza — is writing her first book, “20 Tips to Change Your Life,” pushing the notion that it’s never too late to develop at least a few healthy habits.
The former dancer says she wants to be an inspiration to people of any age who might be struggling with their health. Sure, she has good genes; her mother lived to 94, and her older sister recently turned 100. But she believes that the key to longevity and lasting health lies in remaining active, open-minded and unafraid to learn new things. And her big secret? She enjoys a steady diet of buttery mashed potatoes, bread, El Pollo Loco and nightly helpings of ice cream — but says it’s all in the portions.
Here’s how she does it:
- Bust out of the comfort zone
I took my first ballet lesson at 14. After, I knew I was going to be dancing for the rest of my life. I did some Spanish dancing, performed around Europe and South America and on Broadway. When I was 75, I read an article about trapeze flying. The person who wrote it said that when he was out there and on the bar, he was really present for the first time in his life. I remember thinking, ‘That’s where I want to be.’ I went to a place near the airport. I climbed up a 30-foot high ladder, and that was the part that scared me. Once I got onto the platform, I put my hands on the bar and just flew. I loved it.
- Cracking the handstand and slaying the peacock
When I was 85, someone dragged me to a yoga class at the YMCA in Hollywood. The instructor said, ‘Handstands, everybody.’ I thought, ‘Come on now.’ I asked the guy next to me how long it took him to do a handstand, and he said six years. I thought, ‘That’s OK, I have time.’ I do hatha yoga every morning for an hour. It’s not an exercise. It’s a practice. You learn to take your time. I can now do all those difficult poses like the peacock. The first time I saw my instructor do it, I remember thinking that it was impossible, your whole body is balanced on your hands. But I wanted to get it right, so I kept practicing and I woke up one morning and tried again and all of a sudden, I was up.”
- Hit that tango
Someone introduced me to tango, and that’s been my diamond in the rough. I knew I couldn’t do tango if I wasn’t sufficient in yoga. I needed balance, and the two of them made a marriage. I went to a milonga — a place where they do tango — in Burbank. I told the instructor I wanted a private lesson a week, but after the first one, I made it three a week. After my instructor moved away, I went to see Marcos Questas and his partner Ruta Maria as they rehearsed. I couldn’t believe what was going on, it was so gorgeous. I take lessons from them three times a week”.
This week’s focus is on being fearless. When was the last time you busted out of your comfort zone? How willing are you to practice something difficult until you get it right? Have you ever considered taking Tango lessons or any type of dancing?
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Word-Of-the-Week #755: Motive
January 24, 2019 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #755: Motive
Motive – a desire, interest, or drive that spurs you to take action.
Did you get any clearer on intentions you’d like see happen this year? What are your desires or interests? Have you had any impulses that spurred you to action?
This week features excerpts from the Khan Academy. “Motives come from your needs. You need to eat to survive, you need to brush your teeth to keep them healthy, and you need to work to earn money to be able to buy food and pay your rent.
Needs can come in many different forms – some needs are more emotional, like the desire to do well on an exam, and some are biological, like the need to drink a glass of water when you’re thirsty. Your needs may change throughout your lifespan – your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, environment, culture, and social relationships all come into play as you decide what you need at a particular moment in time.
If your needs are not met, you might feel like you’ve lost your purpose or like something is missing from your life. When you feel that way, you may try to fill the gap in your life and fulfill your needs. For example, if one of your needs is to go to medical school, you will be motivated to take biology and chemistry classes, study hard, earn good grades, and fill out applications to schools that you like. If you’re accepted into medical school, you will have successfully fulfilled your need (and will feel great!), but you’ll also probably have a new need – to graduate from medical school! If you aren’t accepted then you’ll still feel like something is missing, and you’ll either keep trying to achieve your goal and apply to programs again, or you may decide that a different career would be better for you and choose a new goal to work towards.
The three types of needs that we experience are:
- Physiological needs are innate, biological, and must be met in order for you to survive.
- Psychological needs are based on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, expectations, and self-image. Psychological needs are important for your mental health and happiness, and to create balance and harmony in your mind.
- Learned needs are needs that come from your experiences and are heavily influenced by things that happen to you throughout your life. You learn to want things like praise, money, success, and pleasure.
Where your motives come from:
- Intrinsic motives are based on internal factors like what you like to do and things that make you happy. For example, Joe works for a snowboard company because he loves snowboarding and is happiest when he is on the slopes.
- Extrinsic motives are based on external factors like money, rewards, obligations, or approval. For example, Joe sells a specific number of snowboards each year because he needs to make money and wants to earn rewards from his job.
Motive is the inducement to take action. Intent is the mental resolution or determination to do it.
This week’s focus is on your motive. What are the things you like to do and that make you happy? Would you like more approval or a job with better pay? The clearer you get the easier it will be to take the actions needed!
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Word-Of-the-Week #754: Intention
January 17, 2019 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #754: Intention
Intention – a course of action that one intends to follow.
Is the life you’re living satisfying and fulfilling? Is there any part you would like to change? Are your personal and business relationships as harmonious as you would like?
I sent this over seven years ago and felt compelled to revisit it since we are at the start of a brand new year. Steve Strauss, author of STEVE’S 3-MINUTE COACHING writes, “Occasionally you hear, ‘I’ve set an intention.’ Or, ‘I have a powerful intention.’ Or, ‘My intention is strong.’ Or even, ‘The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.’ In this light intentions sound like something you do, actions on your part. There’s another view.
Intentions simply are. They are to be discovered, not set, played with, not labored over. Intentions serve you rather than the other way around. If this is so, what sort of shift might you make? And why would you?
Where do intentions come from? They come from a soft, gentle, quiet place. They come from your life purpose, your journey, the why-you’re-here place.
Can you make an intention up and then work at it really hard? Sure. But that’s probably based on some unmet need, a perceived ‘missing’ in your life, or some other feeling of not having enough. You’re using an intention to try to accomplish something which may not even be related to what your life is really about. Visit with some old people to learn the wisdom of this. They tell stories of efforting toward what turned out to be empty outcomes.
A real intention is much cleaner than that. And simpler. Intentions come from your future, the unfoldment of your journey. Intentions pull you toward them. Intentions encourage.
Useful goals, desires, and objectives each probably have an embedded intention. Discover the intention within and let it guide.
Coaching Point: Have you yet learned to listen to the soft voice of your intentions?”
Copyright 2011 Steve Straus. All rights reserved
I don’t know about you but the first week of the New Year was crazy busy for me. While I am not complaining it reminds me that when I am well prepared ahead of time it makes for a lot less stress and more FUN! So that is one on my intentions for 2019.
This week is about creating an intention. Do you know what your life purpose is? What course of action do you intend to follow to make that happen? The clearer and more specific you are regarding an intention makes it that much easier to achieve!
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Word-Of-the-Week #753: Virtue
January 10, 2019 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #753: Virtue
Virtue – a good quality or way of behaving.
How would you rate your ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset? What percentage of the time do you think and do what is right and avoid what is wrong?
This from HealthDay News by Len Canter is a great follow up to last week’s WOW on Patience.
“You’ve no doubt heard the expression “patience is a virtue.” Now researchers are learning that this virtue can be good for your health and well-being.
Any given day can be filled with a series of frustrations that cause you to lose your patience, like waiting for your assistant to finish a report you need or for your kids to clean up their rooms. Or you might be impatient due to a serious life event, like needing to find a new job or managing a slow recovery after an illness.
Experts say that by handling these situations with patience, you’ll replace frustration with tranquility and be happier for it.
Baylor University psychologist Sarah Schnitker, who has been studying patience for more than a decade, found that people who are more patient also tend to be more hopeful and satisfied with their lives. And they’re less likely to be stressed or depressed or experience health issues, like headaches and ulcers.
Studies on patience training show that patience is a skill you can learn, often by making changes to how you react to frustrating situations. Many people get impatient because they see waiting as time lost, so your first strategy is to redeploy that time.
If you’re stuck on a line or standing idle because your kid’s soccer practice is running late, use your smartphone to read and answer emails or do some online shopping. At work, if you’re at an impasse with a project, put it aside and jump to another one to make inroads there.
Next, tackle the emotional aspect of impatience so that your energy isn’t zapped by negative thoughts. Diffuse any anger with deep breathing. But instead of just counting to the number 10, count off all the things that are really important to you to reframe your outlook.”
This week’s focus is on virtue. What do you think your good qualities are? Is there any behavior you would like to change? How would it feel to make that your goal for 2019?
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Word-Of-the-Week #752: Patience
January 3, 2019 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #752: Patience
Patience – good-natured tolerance of delay or incompetence.
How would you rate yourself on patience? Do you stay good-natured when dealing with delays and incompetence? Are there people in your life who have taken advantage of your patience?
My dear girlfriend (and sister from a prior life) sent me this in December and it only seemed fitting to make it my New Year’s Resolution. When I did a web search I found it here “I No Longer Have Patience.”
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.
I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature.
I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.
I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.
I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise.
I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance.
I do not adjust either to popular gossiping.
I hate conflict and comparisons.
I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities.
In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal.
I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement.
Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals.
And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.”
Meryl Streep quoted it as words she lives by!
Update: originally written by José Micard Teixeira.
This week’s focus is on patience. Did any of the quotes resonate with you? Have you wasted time with what displeases you or hurts you? Is there anyone who does not deserve your patience?
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