Word Of the Week #590: Thankful
November 25, 2015 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word Of the Week #590: Thankful
Thankful – appreciative and grateful.
Are you appreciative and grateful for all that you have? Do you acknowledge and thank people when they do something that is of benefit or favorable to you? When you do something kind or giving to someone, do they thank you? How does it make you feel?
This week I am taking the liberty (and the day off ) of re-running my 2010 WOW. Today we celebrate Thanksgiving and I am so grateful for all that I have in my life. I am thankful to be able to travel and experience different cultures. Now that I don’t have to go school, I love learning all the history and the geography. I really enjoy meeting new people and eating good food!
And I am really thankful to be home! We live in a great country with an abundance of everything. (And great paved roads) I have wonderful friends and family and the love of my life! I don’t think it can get any better than that!
And being thankful has its health benefits. Researchers at the University of California-Davis, Cornell and the University of Michigan found that people “who have a plethora of events for which they feel grateful bounce back more quickly from trauma, can undo the negative effects of stress and have lower blood pressure.”
A USA Today article said to, “Notice small things. Experts almost universally agree that some of the most significant blessings are also the most seemingly insignificant acts. Take note of a nice day, a spectacular sunset, a moonlit night.”
This week focus on giving thanks. You can never do it too much. What are you grateful for in your personal and professional life? When was the last time you told your customers, guests, clients, members, friends and family how grateful you are to have them in your life?
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Word Of the Week #589: Beginnings
November 19, 2015 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word Of the Week #589: Beginnings
Beginnings – fresh starts.
So how good did you do last week “at treating yourself?” When was the last time you got a chance to make a “fresh start?” How did it make you feel? Excitement or dread?
This week I share the second half of Neil Senturia’s, I’m There for You, Baby article “Take time to grieve a job loss, then get back in game.” To recap he wrote, “You will be fired. You will be laid off. Your position will be eliminated. There will be a RIF (reduction in force). You will have a lousy boss who screws you over. It will not be your fault.
Now that you have gone through the seven stages of grief, let’s get on with it.
- Do not broadcast your dismissal to the whole world. They don’t care, and it may
affect getting the next job. - Do nothing precipitous. Do not post your resume on 29 job sites that same afternoon. Breathe.
- Don’t panic. In spite of what you currently think about yourself, you are not worthless,, or unemployable.
- Don’t be arrogant. If offered outplacement assistance, take it.
- Yes, file for unemployment. (Unless you just got a $500,000 severance like the guy from the San Diego pension board.)
- Take a trip. But not two months. A couple of days, decompress, analyze.
- When discussing the next opportunity, don’t be afraid to talk about the elephant in the room. Disclose early and explain to your advantage.
- If there are health issues, take care of them now. You probably still have coverage until your departure date. After that, welcome to COBRA.
- Network. Now, No 9 is easy to say and hard to do well. It is a learned skill. You need to do this. There is no other option. A job will not waft in through the window. There are 21 opportunities in a week – seven breakfasts, seven lunches and seven cocktails. Do not sit home alone and eat peanut butter and ice cream.
- I will bet that there is one person at the former company who was a mentor, adviser, boss friend, ally, etc. That is the first place to start.
- Do not take the next job offer. Take the right job offer. (This is hard because there is reality to money.)
- Do not go out and get married or divorced. I have to admit that I have suffered through all seven stages more than once. But I have also been liberated by it. My “next” company was always better. I was free – and could make a fresh start. I could re-invent myself. In a way, “they” did me a favor. And I have always been grateful for it.
This week’s focus is about beginnings. Do you believe if you lost your job you would be able to easily make a fresh start? If you are unhappy in your current position who do you know that could help you get the job you want? How good are you at networking? This is something everyone should do because you just never know what the future holds!
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Word Of the Week #588: Grief
November 11, 2015 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word Of the Week #588: Grief
Grief – mental anguish or pain caused by loss.
Have you been personally affected by a job loss? Are you worried that you may get laid off? Could your job possibly be eliminated?
Neil Senturia’s column, I’m There for You, Baby is featured in the San Diego UT. His article “Take time to grieve a job loss, then get back in game” had lots of good sound advice. This week I share the first half. He writes, “You will be fired. You will be laid off. Your position will be eliminated. There will be a RIF (reduction in force). You will have a lousy boss who screws you over. It will not be your fault.
You worked hard, you attended all the stupid meetings, and you didn’t steal any pens or paperclips. But, goodbye, sayonara and don’t let the door hit you on the way out – and oh, by the way, severance and accelerated stock – are you kidding me?
Welcome to America and the thing we call – a job.
I have been CEO or chairman of more than a dozen companies – and I have been fired twice. And recently a very good friend of mine found that “her position has been eliminated.” A large multinational bought a tiny biotech and they consolidated, and my friend (with a Ph.D.) found herself out on the street, wondering what to do now.
So let’s turn to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who famously wrote about the seven stages of grief.
- Shock. Are you kidding me, you’re firing me? Huh!
- Denial. Yes, it is actually happening. I know that the HR person is a rat and didn’t tell you the truth and you got no formal exit interview, but there is no denying it.
- Anger. Oh, why me, it’s not fair. I’m going to call a lawyer and sue them. (Do not do this.)
- Bargaining. Maybe I can make a deal, take a lesser position in the company. I will work for a reduced salary. I just don’t want to go back out there.
- Guilt. It is all my fault. I had it coming. I should have worked 90 hours, not just 82.
- Depression. I am 30 and miserable and alone, and have no job and the holidays are coming. What do I say when asked what I do for a living? Or I am 50 and what do I tell my wife and children? Depression is age independent. It does not discriminate.
- Acceptance. Ah, the sun will come up tomorrow – unless it is June in San Diego. Sometimes, this is accompanied by hope. (I am not big on hope; I prefer acceptance and let’s get on with it.)
This week’s focus is all about grief. Have you ever been laid off, fired, or downsized? How long did it take you to find a new job? Do you believe you could work through the seven stages of grief, come to a place of acceptance and get passed it?
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Word Of the Week #587: Permission
November 5, 2015 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word Of the Week #587: Permission
Permission – approval to do something.
So how good did you do last week “at treating yourself?” How often do you give yourself permission for a special treat? Do you feel you need others approval?
This week features the second half of Marisa DeMarco’s “25 Little Ways To Treat Yourself Better Every Day.” She writes, “Do you want to be made to feel special and loved? Isn’t it about time you let life work for you rather than you working for it? It’s all possible and within your reach…only if you are ready for it and willing to make the commitment to honor your needs.
- Don’t take anything personally; 99% of the time when someone says something to hurt you it’s their problem not yours.
- Make your home a comfortable place of shelter, nourishment, and well-being.
- Make your bed a sacred space; it’s where you recharge, sleep, and pass intimate moments.
- Take a trip to escape the city and go to the countryside or vice versa; for a change of atmosphere and pace.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say. In turn, you will trust in yourself, as others will, too.
- Don’t let anyone tell you how and what to feel; that’s for you to decide.
- Give yourself permission to feel; let your intuition guide and heal you.
- Take up a hobby, interest, or learn a new skill; surprise yourself by revealing an inner talent or ability.
- Learn to feel comfortable in your skin; embracing imperfections and admiring your attributes.
- Remember that you deserve to be here on earth; you are an important and unique asset to the human race.
- Respect your limits. When you are full, stop eating. When you are tired, carve out more time for rest. When it’s time to go, leave in peace.
- Spend time with yourself; becoming your own best friend.
- Allow yourself at least one simple pleasure a day.
This week’s focus is about permission. Do you believe you deserve everything that you have? Is there anything you want that would make your life more comfortable? How would it feel to allow yourself at least one simple pleasure a day?
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