WOW Word-Of-the-Week #403: Acknowledgement
April 24, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #403: Acknowledgement
Acknowledgement – the act of recognizing and validating one’s existence.
How did you do last week when it came to engaging the people around you? Did you ask questions to draw them in? Did you find a Relevant area in which you could connect with them?
This is the second WOW featuring, “Sarita’s REAL Rules of Engagement: How to Create a Communication Connection.”
Eye Contact
This is certainly nothing new, but if you’re not using eye contact at least 70% of the time, people will not feel that you’re connecting with them. That’s true with individual conversation as well as when giving a speech. By the way, that also means no multi-tasking such as texting while talking. (And I say, give them your full attention and you will connect easily)
Acknowledgement
Let people feel heard. Even if you don’t agree with the other person’s comment, at least acknowledge it—“I hear you”, “I understand what you’re saying”—before sharing your views.
(Another simply easy way to acknowledge someone is to nod your head when they are speaking)
Learn about them
In the words of Dale Carnegie “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” In a public speaking situation, that means learn as much about the audience as possible before speaking to them. (This is so true when you are in a position to “Help Your Customers Buy” from you)
So, rock these REAL rules and the result will be engaging conversation and presentations!
Copyright 2012 Sarita Maybin. All rights reserved.
This week’s focus is acknowledging the people you come in contact with. Are you comfortable making eye contact? Do you let people talk without interrupting? Do you learn as much as you can about your customers, guests, clients and members?
Sarita’s book, “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?” is available on Amazon.com.
Reader Responses
“Great words. I can’t tell you how many meetings I have attended here at work where some of the people are sitting there checking their emails on their iPods or Blackberries, texting or checking phone messages, all while the speaker is trying to keep everyone’s attention. Frankly, it shows a lack of respect for the person speaking. If someone feels the need to check his or her messages, texts, tweets, emails or voice mail, do it before the meeting or wait until after the meeting is over. We are not that important that we have to check EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE that comes across our electronic devices. I have a cellphone, but I leave it turned off while at work. I will call my wife, my parents and my three-year-old’s daycare during my break times away from my desk. I don’t have an iPod, iPad, tablet, Blackberry or SmartPhone. And I don’t plan to get them. There was a story in last Sunday’s New York Times about how all of these devices are ending the lively art of conversation as we know it. Very few people want to pick up the phone to have a conversation. I had an old high school friend tell me recently, “Oh, I owe you a phone call,” as if we were keeping a telephone scorecard. I don’t need an excuse or a reason to pick up the phone; I just do it. It is not that hard. When it comes to office encounters, I make a point of making eye contact and asking how they are doing or inquire about their family. We all like to talk about ourselves; that is human nature. Even people I don’t know in the hall, I will make eye contact and say hello. There are a number of people who consciously avoid eye contact. I don’t know what the fear is, but it is there. Making eye contact, saying hello, inquiring about their day or lives, these are acknowledgments and validations of their existence. What is troubling to me, especially in this age of advanced technology, is the number of people who do not acknowledge phone calls or emails, especially when receiving invitations. That says more about those people than anything. Actually, it is sad. Great words, Susan. Thanks for the reminder.” – “Warrior” Joe
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #402: Engagement
April 18, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #402: Engagement
Engagement – the act of connecting with another person by drawing them in.
My WOW #394 was Involved. Sarita, one of my long-time friends and subscribers, who is also a speaker, had responded by writing, “Involvement is a timely word. I was just having a conversation about ‘engagement’ this morning when I spoke at CSU San Marcos. That word, which is similar to involvement, is all the rage right now; CSU San Marcos even has a VP for Community Engagement. Many university campuses use the term ‘student involvement’ and now have staff that specialize in ‘student engagement.’ ”
That got me thinking that since Sarita’s father was in the Army and she was married to a Marine, that we could come up with the “Rules of Engagement” of service. So the next two WOW’s will feature, “Sarita’s REAL Rules of Engagement: How to Create a Communication Connection.”
Sarita
Sarita says…
“My Army childhood and previous marriage to a Marine have taught me the military definition of “rules of engagement”…guidelines on how to respond to various situations in the line of duty.
There’s also now a weekly TV sitcom called “Rules of Engagement” which takes a look at the stages of relationships.
The latter may be closer to the topic of this article…how to create engaging communication, both one-on-one and in front of groups!
Here is the first of what I call my REAL Rules of Engagement:
Relevant
Find a relevant area on which you can connect with the other person, or the audience. What are your common interests and experiences? For example, my experience as a parent is an easy point of connection that I have with many people who might otherwise be different from me.
Copyright 2012 Sarita Maybin. All rights reserved.
This week focus on engaging the people you come in contact with. Do you have a tendency to connect easily? Do you take the time to find common interests? Are you able to draw people into conversation?
Sarita’s book, “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?” is available on Amazon.com.
Reader Responses
“Agreed. It seems the word engagement is all the rage now, especially in corporate America. We not only have to be engaged in our work, but we have to be engaged with our fellow employees. Employee Engagement is the term most widely used so that we can all bond with each other and feel a bigger part of our workplace environments. I enjoy working with my coworkers. They are fun to be with and provide great camaraderie. After all, Susan, we usually spend more time with our coworkers than we do with our families, so we need to be able to get along. It is a great word, Susan. And we will probably hear more of it in the coming years. Have a great weekend. Take care.” – “Warrior” Joe
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #401: Friends
April 10, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #401: Friends
Friends – people you know well and regard with affection and trust.
How many “true” friends would you say you have? How often do you spend time with them? Have you ever missed times with your friends because you felt work was more important?
This is the final WOW featuring excerpts from Bronnie Ware’s book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.”
“4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Happy Family & Friends!
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
This week’s focus is on friends. In case you didn’t know it, we were put on this earth to love and be loved! Have you stayed in contact with your old friends? When was the last time you laughed out loud? Or how about the last time you had some silliness?
Reader Responses
“I have always made it a point to remember the anniversaries and birthdays and special events of family members, but friends. When the younger son of my best friend was married recently, my friend reminded me that whenever I visited their home I always brought a Hershey’s chocolate bar for both boys. I actually had forgotten that I had done that over time, but when I was reminded of it I was happy. Sometimes we forget that we do those little things, but those close to us do remember. You mentioned what it is that people value on their deathbeds. I remember hearing Coach Al McGuire say in his last interview that elderly people who are near the end don’t want flowers or sweaters. They want our time. Because they know they don’t have much time remaining to them. That is so true. I make a point of staying in touch with my friends, and I have a few close ones. As I mentioned in a previous post, I don’t want to look back with regret. We all have too many of those in our lives anyway. Great word, Susan. Thanks for the reminder. ” – “Warrior” Joe
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #400: Lifestyle
April 5, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #400: Lifestyle
Lifestyle – a way of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person.
Do you wish anything in your life were different? Do you have any unfulfilled dreams? Do you ever feel disappointed about choices you have or have not made?
This is the second of three WOW’s featuring excerpts from Bronnie Ware’s book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.”
“2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.”
This week’s focus is on your lifestyle. Are you living a life that reflects your attitudes and values? Are you spending quality time with your family? Are you expressing how you feel? Do you have the courage to make changes even if it means others may not be happy by that choice?
Reader Responses
“Just wanted to let you know that these are really cool! I have enjoyed both of the Wow’s from Bronnie Ware’s book and cant’ wait for the third. Thank you for sharing this with your readers.” – Amy
“I have had people ask when I plan to write another book. Or, I should be writing some kind of blog or beginning The Great American Novel. I tell them that my most important job RIGHT NOW is to spend time helping my wife raise our two daughters. Spending these precious years watching them grow and learn is the most important thing I can do with my life. Fortunately, the job I have allows me to help my wife and to spend time with my girls. I drop the girls at school in the morning and pick up my younger girl after work. I can have dinner with them, read to them and help with homework. When the girls get older and begin spending more time with their friends, that is when I can probably concentrate on a next book, novel or blog. By that time, there will have been a shakeout in the communications technology in our world, and who knows what opportunities for future works will unfold. As a result, I am raising my girls with no regret, knowing that I have contributed to their lives in meaningful ways. The vacation time I have accumulated has allowed me to go places with my wife and girls and watch the joy of their discoveries. I am so lucky at this point of my life not to have to miss these special times. I don’t think other people I know realize how lucky I am. Life is sooooo goooood. Thanks, Susan. It is so nice not to have regrets. Have a wonderful Easter. Take care.” – “Warrior” Joe