WOW Word-Of-the-Week #369: Outrageous
August 31, 2011 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #369: Outrageous
Outrageous – grossly offensive to decency, authority, etc.
Did you happen to hear or read about the “Bad Mothering” Lawsuit this weekend? Do you think that a child suing their mother for not buying them a toy is outrageous? How about claiming they didn’t like the birthday card she sent?
Steve Schmadeke of the Chicago Tribune wrote, “Raised in a $1.5 million Chicago suburban home by their father, two grown children have spent the past two years pursuing a unique lawsuit against their mom for ‘bad mothering’ that alleges damages caused when she failed to take her daughter to a car show, told her then-7-year old son to buckle up or she would contact police, ‘haggling’ over the amount to spend on party dresses, and calling her daughter at midnight to ask that she return home from celebrating homecoming.”
Fortunately, an Illinois appeals court dismissed it finding that none of the mother’s conduct was “extreme or outrageous.” The mother’s attorney, Shelley Smith, claimed the “litany of childish complaints and ingratitude” in the lawsuit is nothing more than an attempt by her ex-husband to “seek the ultimate revenge” of having her children accuse her of “being an inadequate mother.”
What made me do a double take on this story is that I happen to know the mother, Kimberly Garrity, from our days of working with the Illinois Restaurant Association in the ’80’s. On more than one occasion I socialized with her family. What I think is absolutely outrageous is that even though this got thrown out by the judge they were allowed to appeal it. And even more outrageous, is that she has to pay all of her legal fees while the children have their father for free. (If the case had gone to trial she would have been reimbursed the cost of her attorneys fees.)
This week’s focus is on “the outrageous.” Have you ever experienced grossly offensive behavior? What course of action did you take? Do you believe that there actually could be a good side to this story? Well, there is. I spoke to Kim and she said, “The outpouring from the media has been so positive. This story has been picked up around the world. It totally backfired on my children and they will have to live with that for the rest of their lives.”
Reader Responses
“Wow! What a story!” – Sandra
“Thanks Sooz- I too followed this story on the news – I agree with you.” – Katie
“My immediate reaction to the story was sadness. It is the classic case of divorced parents using their kids in a battle against each other. Frankly, I’m not surprised. What it really points up is the inadequacies of the mother and father as parents. They did not do a good job raising their children and this is the result. These are the types of lawsuits that should simply be thrown out of court and never heard. These are nuisance suits that are brought by irresponsible people who have too much money. If parents can’t solve their problems in their homes, they have more problems that cannot be solved by the courts. Whoever brought the suit should not only be made to pay the legal fees of both parties, but all of the court costs as well. Obviously, we live in a litigious age, but poor communication between people has made it worse. I am not surprised by anything anymore, Susan. This is just the latest example. Thanks for the word, Susan.” – “Warrior” Joe
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #368: Vanity
August 24, 2011 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #368: Vanity
Vanity – extremely proud of one’s appearance or accomplishments.
Do you remember Carly Simon’s song, “you’re so Vain?” Do you think vanity is a good thing? If you exercise regularly would you say you do it for your health? Or to keep your weight in check? Or both?
Ironically in this week’s LA Times Health section they featured an article titled, “Vanity Can Be Healthy Asset: Exercising to maintain good looks is great because it helps you stay in shape.” James Fell writes, “The desire to look good can be a powerful motivator for achieving health and fitness.”
Gordon Patzer, a professor of business administration at Roosevelt University in Chicago, is the author of six books on the physical attractiveness phenomenon. He says, “People are hard-wired to strive to look better because it brings benefits throughout life, be it in mate selections, employment opportunities, salary or life in general. There is actually a ‘beauty premium’ paid to good-looking people. On average in the U.S., they make 5% more than average-looking people, who in turn make 10% more than those deemed unattractive. So anyone who transforms from hippo to hottie can expect to earn nearly 16% more a year. No wonder beauty is such big business.”
“While many people state they are pursuing fitness for health reasons, the truth is that these are often secondary to their desire to look better. In the back of their minds they’re killing two birds with one stone. And it can be a lasting driver. It will keep us going back to maintain our new look.”
Then today in the Business Section of the San Diego Tribune another article titled, “Turning Back the Clock: Baby boomers to spend billions to counter aging in a potential bonanza to industry,” talks about the 70 million baby boomers who have the “forever young” mindset and “who are seeking to keep the dreaded signs of aging at bay” spend $80 billion a year on anti-aging products. They predict it will jump to $114 billion by 2015.
This week’s focus is on vanity. Is it time to start exercising so you will look and feel better? Are you concerned about keeping the “dreaded signs of aging” at bay? Are you looking to make a career change? Do you see any way these predictions can help you in your business?
Reader Responses
“We all like the idea that people compliment us on our new haircut, shirt, shoes, etc. It is human nature that we enjoy having people pay attention to us every day. Vanity is not a problem until it becomes narcissism. That is when our attitude gets in the way of relationships. American society has always prized the thin and the young. None of us likes to let ourselves go, where our bellies are hanging over our belt buckles. Let’s face it, that is not attractive. People who do take care of themselves and have a positive self image are more likely to look good physically and to dress well. It shows that they care and take pride in their appearance. As for aging, we can still look continue to look good and take care of ourselves as we age. Frankly, I look forward to the coming years. Now, my wife, Kristen, worries more about my graying hair. But I don’t really worry about it. As I remind her: “I’m just growing into my good looks!” Susan, we are a part of the largest demographic in the U.S. And while it is an aging demographic, it is one that is living much longer and has many more disposable dollars than any other segment of the American population. And some of us can use those extra dollars to have some surgery done. And if they choose to do so, that is their prerogative. For me, I will just let myself age gracefully and naturally, while taking care of myself and appearance at the same time. Life is great. Let’s have some fun! Great word, Susan. Take care.” – “Warrior” Joe
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #367: Mirth
August 15, 2011 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #367: Mirth
Mirth – laughter, gaiety, or merriment.
Did you know that children laugh 400 times per day compared to an average of 17 times for adults? When is the last time you laughed out loud? Do you ever laugh so hard you cry? Do you know that the more mirth you experience the healthier you will be?
Last week’s WOW generated lots of great feedback so I thought I would build on that this week. I’m going to give you 3 good reasons why you want to have more FUN and mirth in your life!
1. They say, “Laughter is the best medicine” and if you want to lower your blood pressure this is one easy way to do it. “The physical act of laughing causes the tissue forming the inner lining of your blood vessels to expand, allowing for an increase in blood flow. Laughing at a funny movie causes them to dilate by 22%. The magnitude of change is similar to the benefit you might see with aerobic activity, but without the aches and pains,” says Dr. Miller in Men’s Health Magazine.
Giggling Grandchildren
2. Laughter Improves Relationships. Psychology professor Dr. Doris G. Bazzini’s study on laughter, January 2007 issue of the journal “Motivation and Emotion” says, “When you reminisce about laughter, it makes you laugh again. When couples reminisce about laughter together, it makes them feel closer and creates a stronger bond. It might create a greater sense of ‘we understand each other.’” (This applies to friends too)
3. Mood Effects Work Performance. “Start-of-day positive mood spills over and affects positive employee mood during the day and likewise, start-of-day negative mood spills over and affects negative employee mood during the day. They are more powerful than mood changes caused by events in the workplace,” say researchers at the University of Pennsylvania.
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford to waste any days! This week focus on creating an environment that promotes laughter. Do you start your day focusing on the positives in your life? If something negative happens are you able to not let it affect your whole day? Do you have a “start-of-day positive mood” plan for your staff?
Reader Responses
“I love your ‘thoughts for the week.’ I ask each morning what are you going to do ‘for fun today?’ Mentor of mine taught me that years ago. It is very important! It keeps me balanced. ” – Katie
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #366: Healthy
August 8, 2011 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #366: Healthy
Healthy – physically and mentally sound.
Is it important to you to live a healthy lifestyle? What do you do for exercise? Do you tend to eat out often? What do you do that brings you pleasure?
This is such a hot topic and the older I get more important to me. Every Monday the LA Times includes the Health section. Valerie Ulene wrote an article titled, “Happiness Pursued and Made to Last.”
“Health means not just the absence of disease but a positive sense of involvement and engagement in life,” says psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, co-director of the Quality of Life Research Center at Claremont Graduate University. “Unless you know how to enjoy life, your life is not healthy.”
Healthy, Happy FUN!!
“Not that finding happiness is easy. The first obstacle, perhaps the biggest, is genetics,” says Ulene. “Research shows a close genetic relationship between happiness and positive personality traits such as extroversion, openness and agreeableness. People appear to have a happiness set-point over which they have little control. Everyone experiences ups and downs. But most people gravitate back to their baseline.”
“More often than not, however, people get in their own way by looking for happiness in all the wrong places. They aren’t particularly good at recognizing what will bring them lasting joy. Although money tops many people’s wish lists, study after study has found that once basic needs are met, additional wealth doesn’t add much to people’s sense of well-being and contentment.”
This week’s focus is on being healthy. Do you have a positive sense of involvement in your life? What brings you lasting enjoyment? What activities do you engage in that make you feel physically and mentally sound? Do you feel a sense of well-being and contentment with your personal and professional life?
Reader Responses
“During my performance review on Thursday, my supervisor mentioned that as part of my assessment he talked to a number of my colleagues in the office. The response was positive, and that I am a positive and optimistic influence in the office. Also, I am helpful when people need to have work done quickly and on deadline. So, my optimism is infectious in the workplace and has made a difference with my coworkers. Needless to say, the comments certainly gave my performance review a positive glow. I have been blessed with good healthy and a positive disposition. I look at the glass always as half full. I am always looking forward with optimism, noting that the best is yet to come. In the story, the subject was quoted as saying that we always return to our baseline, and I believe that is very true in my case. I guess no matter what happens, I will react in the same positive way. Thanks for the great word, Susan. l have much for which to be grateful every day.” – “Warrior” Joe “
“I have Dr. Mike Moreno’s ’17 Day Diet’ book. I love it – 17 minutes of exercise morning and night. I have lost 32 lbs – 60 more to go!” – Katie
“I just wanted to say ‘Thank You’ for putting the thought into laying out this flow. Every once and awhile a word jumps out at me and settles in – making a difference.” – John
“I always thought it ironic that the ancient adage that is attributed to Hippocrates ‘…physician heal thy self…’ contains the word ‘healthy.’ It seems to reinforce that each individual is the ‘primary care person’ of their own health. When I observe that there seems to be more apparently ‘unhealthy’ folks (overweight, sedentary, self-indulgent) in our country it drives that point home. I recall when the tobacco companies were the target of everyone’s ‘wrath’ as the perceived destroyers of our nation’s health. But if you look around now if seems that every food wholesaler, retailer, restaurant, fast food chain are extolling their large portions, huge servings, 3 for one pizzas deals, etc. My doctor and I were chatting a few weeks ago during a visit and he was sharing that the number of patients suffering from diabetes had increased almost exponentially in the last few years. He lamented that genetic factors aside the majority of the diabetes was ‘self –induced.’ It’s a telling statistic that the health care industry is among the best ‘investment vehicle’ as touted by the Wall street gurus. I guess while we quite literally ‘eat ourselves to death’ we can at least invest in the industry we charge with extending our lives in spite of ourselves.” – John
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #365: Extraordinary
August 2, 2011 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #365: Extraordinary
Extraordinary – far more than usual or expected.
What does “far more than usual or expected” mean to you? When was the last time you experienced something extraordinary? How did it leave you feeling? How many people did you tell?
Excellence was WOW #360 and I wrote about our very disastrous experience on the Rocky Mountaineer. The following is the response I received from them:
“Thank you for your email of July 8th, 2011, outlining your concerns on your recent Rocky Mountaineer rail journey. I appreciate your feedback and want to express that I am truly sorry to hear that you were disappointed with your experience with us as we take pride in the high level of service that we provide to all of our guests.
As you are already aware, Rocky Mountaineer has been experiencing a labour disruption since June 22nd, 2011. However, the Rocky Mountaineer has continued to operate as scheduled and has departed from various locations without any delays. We have also received a number of compliments from our guests on the terrific service they had while travelling with us.
The Onboard team consists of management and temporary employees, who have undergone the same safety and service training provided to all our Onboard Attendants. To ensure that our guests receive extraordinary service, most of our newer Attendants are professionals in the hospitality industry with outstanding customer service skills.
I apologize for any disappointment caused in regards to the ongoing labor disruption and your experiences onboard as you referred to in your correspondence. We take your comments very seriously. At this time however, we are politely declining your request for compensation It has been a pleasure to have you as our guest onboard the Rocky Mountaineer.
Once again, we apologize for the experience you had and hope to have the opportunity to welcome you onboard again in the future.
Yours sincerely, Ed Baklor
Executive Vice President, Guest Services
Well all I can say is that the guests who say they had “terrific service” were either not in our train car or were from a third world country!
This week’s focus is extraordinary. What can you do for your guests, customers, members or clients that is “far more than usual or expected?” If you were promised an extraordinary experience what would you expect? If you spent twice as much money than you ever had before would you expect it to be twice as good? If you were me, how would you respond this letter?
Reader Responses
“My response to the letter would point out that the level of service promised for the money paid did not even approach extraordinary. It was more like mediocre. Obviously, we don’t truly know what kind of experience the others on the trip reallly had, so it is hard to judge that. But based on what you experienced, it is hard to believe his response. Further, I would point out that even though there was a strike at the time of your trip, the onus is on the company to provide the promised service for the fee charged. In his letter to you, he was using that situation as an excuse and to justify the fact that he would not remunerate you. This is one of those situations where a contingency plan should have been put in place ahead of time. It was not. Therefore, there should have been a refund, if only a partial one. Kristen and I took the girls to Door County in July. We had to leave the hotel a day early because of a water problem in our basement due to a large storm that hit the Chicago area. We were informed by management when we left, that if our room was rented the day that we left, we would received at least our down payment. It did get rented on what would have been our last day at the hotel, so we were given a check for half of that down payment. At least the hotel made that effort. The guy you were dealing with would not even give a partial payment. If you could have had the others in your car send similar letters, that probably would have made your case stronger. As you know, it is word of mouth that can change things. I suggest that since you were not compensated, you can use word of mouth to make a difference in his business. His attitude seems to be, “Well, I apologized, but I’ll be damned if I am going to refund ANY money because it WASN’T MY FAULT!” That is not how you win friends and influence future customers. He only went halfway with the apology. He needed to go all the way and refund your money. He has a few things to learn. Extraordinary means above and beyond the call of duty. He did not even take care of the call of duty.” – “Warrior” Joe
“I think the people who are extraordinary are the workers who work outside for a living. They are out in the intense heat (like it is in San Antonio) of temperatures over 100 degrees and still do their jobs. Then there are those who work outside and do even more extraordinary things like save a life! I’ve attached a short news article about a Time Warner Cable worker who just happened to be at the right place at the right time and save a 7 year old boy’s life. The article doesn’t say, but this guy was given an award by the company and the Chief of Police for going over and beyond the call of duty to save a life. The one thing the Chief said in his interview with the media was and I’m paraphrasing, “It’s truly amazing how many good people there are out there, who are at the right place at the right time and who in the moment are calm and collected to perform CPR and save a life.” He then encouraged everyone to get CPR certified because one never knows when it’s their turn to do something extraordinary. I thought this was poignant and that is why I commend those people who are out there in the elements and who happen to be at the right place at the right time and know exactly what is needed to do. Simply extraordinary. Thanks.” – Linda
“I would call Ed Baklor and offer to come and do a program. If you want me to call, please give me his contact info. Turn it into business. Thats my ‘marketing’ thought. Let me know what you think.” – Susan
“Usually, a person receiving a letter like this just becomes ‘the customer who never comes back.’ The train official has done his perfunctory duty, trying to make the best of a bad situation, you don’t get the refund or compensation you requested, and you never respond and never give them your business again. Nothing has been gained by either side. On the other hand, as Wayne Dyer puts it: ‘Everyday we are presented with opportunities to be kind, or to be right. Always choose kind.’ If you want to practice an act of kindness, and feel like taking the time to be conciliatory, you could respond that you appreciate the response, that these thing happen, that you hope the labor issue is resolved, etc. and that you hope he has a better day. It has been shown in numerous studies that people receiving an act of kindness experience increased levels of serotonin (the “happy” hormone). So do the people who perpetrate the act of kindness, as well as people who witness it. So you would be doing something good for yourself, and making the best of a bad situation. And that would be at least some kind of compensation. Keep up the good work.” – Bob
“That is one word I think is its own ‘oxymoron’ and I avoid using it. If you ‘dissect’ it one may ask is there an ‘ultimate degree of ordinary?’ So if someone or something is Extraordinary they have achieved a level of ‘ordinariness’ heretofore unknown to the most mundane of mere mortals.” – John
“Hi honey. Regarding what you should do, a long time ago you told me that 99% of people who don’t return to restaurants never tell anybody why they were dissatisfied. Over the years I have taken that stat to heart and have begun many letters to restaurant owners or managers with that line, saying I was going to be in the 1%. Using this tactic I have gotten free (very expensive) meals in places like Bistro 110 in Chicago and Del Frisco’s in Las Vegas. So I think you should escalate past this person and go to the next higher level or all the way to the top. Not only will you be doing them a favor by letting them know of your unhappiness, you might also get something out of it! All the best! XO” – Leslie