WOW Of the Week #68: Charisma

May 12, 2009 by  

Charisma – a special magnetic charm or appeal.

Do you know anyone who has charisma? One example I found says that charisma is the ability to conform ourselves to others, so that others experience us as a reflection of themselves.

It also is referred to as mirroring. If you want to connect and create rapport this is a great way to do that. It is the most basic level of influence and is nothing more than behavior that offers back to its observers a reflection of themselves.

Mirroring is about slowing down our responses so they trail the behavior of the other party. When someone stands a certain way or moves their hands, take that position a few seconds after they do. Always mirror by using opposite body parts. Never Mimic!

For example: If someone takes their left hand to adjust the knot in their tie, you can use your right hand to brush some lint off of your lapel.

Other examples include: Stance – mirroring the way a person stands and carries themselves. Head position – angling your head in the same general way that the other person does. Voice – people like to hear similarity in vocal patterns and like people who speak the way they do. Breathing patterns – this is extremely subtle and creates very strong rapport. You can also do this manually by tapping your fingers in time to the breaths.

This week focus on mirroring your guests, customers and members. Notice if you connect and create deeper rapport.

Reader Responses

“From a Christian perspective, you could say that Christ would like us to have “Charisma” and using your thoughts on this, what a beautiful way to express oneself, conforming ourselves to Christ so that others experience this reflection of Christ around us with Christ living in us.  Very interesting……………” — Don Vance