Word Of the Week #10: Rapport
April 20, 2009 by Susan Clarke
Rapport: relation characterized by harmony, conformity, accord, or affinity.
How long does it take you to decide if you like someone or not?
People like others who are like themselves! Think about your friends, your favorite customers, clients, members or guests. What do they have in common?
When you are truly, deeply connected you establish a rapport. You’re seeing things the way the other person does. You are hearing things as they sound to them. You are sensing, feeling, and responding to a situation as they would. It’s a relationship in which both people have found a balance, harmony, and accord.
I believe our deepest rapport comes from love. Think about it. When you’re in the “Velcro Stage” (unable to pull yourselves (apart) you are totally connected with that person. As time and space begin to influence your relationship and you start to find fault and/or the intensity of the relationship starts to diminish, remember to, “Cherish the Velcro!”
This week spend time reconnecting, or if you’re so lucky, staying fully connected with all those people (your significant other, parents, children, customers, guests, clients, members, etc) in your life. Focus on keeping the intensity up and establishing rapport.
Reader Responses
“I am glad to hear you say that. I have been married for 31 years and I still have that relationship with my wife, i.e., the “Velcro Stage”, which is nice.” — Don Vance
“I love your example of “the velcro stage.” What a great mind-picture! You are so right about rapport in a relationship. Although I am very easy going, and get along with most people, I can usually tell within the first 10-15 minutes whether or not I like or dislike someone. Since I am one of those individuals that loves to talk (gee, could you tell?), I get into conversations quite easily with people I meet, and have to agree that it’s much easier to build a rapport and warm up to someone when we have the same interests or a lot in common.” — Terry L. Green