WOW Word-Of-the-Week #389: Change
January 18, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #389: Change
Change – the action of making something different in form, quality or state.
Do you love the excitement of creating something new? Do you find change difficult or stressful? If you could change one thing in your life, would it be difficult or easy for you?
Once again I received one of S T E V E ‘ S….3 – M I N U T E…. C O A C H I N G emails and thought it was perfect for the new year.
“What do you want to change this year? Do you have a clear picture/description of what you want to change?
Do you know how your life will be different when you have the change? Have you quantified the difference by fully describing the attributes that will result from the change, such as how you expect to feel?
Do you have some ideas of how to bring about the change? Actions, resources, requests to make, boundaries to set, things to stop?
Do you already know what some of the barriers to having this change are? Momentum is usually a big one. Someone-won’t-approve can be, too. Do you know of other barriers?
Does change have to be hard or can you let it be easy?
Have you found that changing alone is better for you? If not, who can assist you with your change?
Coaching Point: One year from now is probably going to happen anyway. Do you want your life then to look just like it does now? Or do you want it to change?”
Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.
One of my favorite quotes is, “Change is inevitable, growth is optional.” Change is a part of life. Four times a year the seasons change. We experience physical changes every day. This week’s focus is on change. Will you view change as a positive and grow from the experience? Will you find it difficult to accept and create more barriers?
Reader Responses
“I like this! A lot of helpful questions to ask ourselves!” – Sandra
“Change is difficult for all of us, because of the inevitability of it. If we don’t change, at some point it may be forced upon us by forces that we can’t control. So, if the opportunity is there to make positive changes in our lives – and not just at New Year’s Eve – then we should try to take a look in the mirror and see what we need to do first. Once we take stock, we should make the change workable, in increments. We can’t change overnight, so if we take our time and make it work in manageable chunks, then we will be able to accomplish our goals of change. The biggest obstacle to change is fear. My wife does not like change at all. She wants things to remain routine so that there are no surprises in her life. When there are surprises, she does not like it. I don’t try to force things on Kristen, but I let her know that she will have to make small changes that are manageable and make things easier for her. None of us likes change, but it is the only clear path to growth in life. As I have looked back on my life, there were probably a few things I might have done differently, but in retrospect probably would not have been drastic changes in my life. I am a positive person and work hard to adapt and change. It is not easy, but nothing that is worthwhile in life is ever easy. Great word for this time of year, Susan. Thank you.” – “Warrior” Joe
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #385: Intention
December 21, 2011 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #385: Intention
Intention – a course of action that one intends to follow.
Is the life your living satisfying and fulfilling? Is there any part you would like to change? Are your personal and business relationships as harmonious as you would like?
I saved this S T E V E ‘ S….3 – M I N U T E…. C O A C H I N G and think it’s a very timely and profound message. He writes, “Occasionally you hear, ‘I’ve set an intention.’ Or, ‘I have a powerful intention.’ Or, ‘My intention is strong.’ Or even, ‘The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.’ In this light intentions sound like something you do, actions on your part. There’s another view.
“Intentions simply are. They are to be discovered, not set, played with, not labored over. Intentions serve you rather than the other way around. If this is so, what sort of shift might you make? And why would you? “
“Where do intentions come from? They come from a soft, gentle, quiet place. They come from your life purpose, your journey, the why-you’re-here place.”
“Can you make an intention up and then work at it really hard? Sure. But that’s probably based on some unmet need, a perceived ‘missing’ in your life, or some other feeling of not having enough. You’re using an intention to try to accomplish something which may not even be related to what your life is really about. Visit with some old people to learn the wisdom of this. They tell stories of efforting toward what turned out to be empty outcomes.”
“A real intention is much cleaner than that. And simpler. Intentions come from your future, the unfoldment of your journey. Intentions pull you toward them. Intentions encourage.”
“Useful goals, desires, and objectives each probably have an embedded intention. Discover the intention within and let it guide.”
“Coaching Point: Have you yet learned to listen to the soft voice of your intentions?”
Copyright 2011 Steve Straus. All rights reserved
This time of year can be stressful with all of the business and social commitments. My intention is to have them be as harmonious as possible! This week’s focus is on intention. Are your intentions serving you? Do you know what your life purpose is? What course of action do you intend to follow to make that happen?
Reader Responses
“My intention is to have Christmas dinner with 30 to 40 people at my house be as stress-free as possible. Thanks for “Word of the Week” and your thoughtful explanations that always have good intentions, and that sometimes lead to good intentions in others and by others.” – Elaine
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #380: Upsets
November 16, 2011 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #380: Upsets
Upsets – things that cause mental or emotional distress.
When you become upset are you aware of what has triggered it? Are you able to process that and then easily let it go? Or do you have a tendency to let it bother you for a long period of time?
Once again I want to share a great e-mail from Steve Straus who sends out S T E V E ‘ S….3 – M I NU T E…. C O A C H I N G. He writes, “Today’s Topic – PRINCIPLE: Carrying Upsets (Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)”
“We have a tendency to get upset over different things – relationships, money, clients, our jobs, our surroundings, etc. It’s easy for most people to get upset. There may even have been times when you have gotten upset more than once in a day. ”
“The issue around upset is not whether you have it, but how long you carry it. To be upset is not unusual. Unfortunately, for many people it’s also not unusual to carry their upset around and have it negatively influence the rest of their day. ”
“The trick is to catch yourself being upset. That is, to notice how you’re feeling while you’re feeling it instead of being unconscious to it and having the upset run your life. Either it’s in charge or you are. ”
“By the way, upset is a great teacher which shows you what you might need to change in your life. Viewed from that perspective, you may even thank the upset for showing up! ”
“Coaching Point: What can you do to start quickly catching yourself in upset so that you have the choice of letting it go?”
This week’s focus is on upsets. With the Holidays quickly approaching this seemed like the perfect time to share this. Do you have family members that cause you distress? How about regular customers, guests, members or clients? Have you ever become upset by a complete stranger? Don’t let other people’s behavior negatively affect you and you’ll have a FUN Holiday!
Reader Responses
“To be honest I always thought the word upset misleading. Wouldn’t “downset” be more accurate? After all whenever we use the word it’s always related to a “downer” crisis or bad news.” – John
“We are human and will therefore be susceptible to upsets. They happen. If I have learned anything in my short time on this planet, it is to allow myself to feel the upset. Usually I will recognize it and express what I am feeling. Once I get it out of my system, it’s over, and I move on. That is how my wife and I deal with upsets in our families. The key for us is that we do not let that upset carry over to the next day. We deal with it, explain how we feel, figure out how we will deal with it, and then move on. Sometimes my wife does not like how I express the upset, but she knows how I am feeling. I usually say to Kristen: “You will know when I am upset or mad. Because I will tell you.” I will not fly off the handle at home or at work. Expressing anger, especially verbally, can be inappropriate. I have worked hard not to take out upsets or anger on others. And it does take work. But I have achieved a semblance of sanity even when the upsets can be hard to bear. My 10-year-old asked me week ago why I don’t react to situations like my wife does. I told her that because I am 11 years older than her mother, I have seen and experienced many more difficult situations personally and professionally, and have learned how to deal with people in those situations. Thus, I do not get worked up over things that are small like accidents that are really no one’s fault. I just try to roll with the punches as best as possible and NOT REACT. REACTING or OVERREACTING is how the molehills become the mountains. I finished my explanation by telling my daughter, “It gets better.” A problem many people have is that when upsets occur the response is, “Why does it always happen to me?” They are so wrapped up in their lives that they can’t see the forest for the trees. Not having control is a problem also. If these people who caused this upset would have just done things MY WAY, this never would have happened in the first place! WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME? If things don’t improve, then resentments begin to form. And, as we all know, resentments are a killer. But, it does get better. Thanks for the word, Susan. Take care. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.” – “Warrior” Joe
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #319: Uncertain
September 7, 2010 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #319: Uncertain
Uncertain – not known or predictable.
How does being uncertain make you feel? Is it scary? Do you relish the adventure of it?
As I write this, I am sitting at the airport in San Diego on my way to South Africa and the only thing I am certain about is that I plan on having an exciting adventure. We are going this time of year so we can see the great white sharks breach (it’s the only place in the world they do it) and we plan on cage diving with them! In addition, we are going on two safaris and have no idea what we will see and experience. So when I got this week’s ….S T E V E ‘ S….3 – M I N U T E…. C O A C H I N G I knew I had to make it my WOW,
“Life is uncertain.
There are two ways to deal with life’s uncertainty. One is to fear it. The other is to enjoy it.
If, for you, uncertainty is fearful and upsetting, then a normal response is to use a lot of your energy protecting against possible negative outcomes, defending yourself and minimizing risk.
You might argue that contingency planning is a clever use of your time and you would be correct. However, the issue is not the few moments you use to project scenarios and plan accordingly, it is the unconscious energy you use living in the belief that the unknown future is somehow scary.
Another way to look at uncertainty is displayed by a small child sitting and playing with their toys. To a small child, developing and awakening into their world, life is completely uncertain. They have almost no concept of “future” and, so far, they have found the journey to be filled with many delightful moment-by-moment discoveries. They can have toy cars fly, stuffed animals speak, and time go backward.
Instead of fear, they get to gleefully experience the wonder and delight of uncertainty.
You might argue that one of the hallmarks of being an adult is that you see beyond the fantasies of childhood and deal with life “realistically” and, again, you would be correct.
The key question is, do you see the wonder and delight of uncertainty or the fear and doubt of an unknown and scary future? It really is only a choice you’ve made.
Coaching Point: You might want to ask yourself, “What would have to happen for me to experience the wonder and delight of uncertainty?”
You know what you have to do this week. How does it make you feel?
To sign up for Steve’s emails go to www.StrausUSA.com/subscribe.htm then enter your email address.
Reader Responses
“Thanks for writing just about me! It’s all about me!! LOL!!!” – Sandra
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #315: Enthusiasm
August 11, 2010 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #315: Enthusiasm
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #315
Enthusiasm – great excitement or interest in a subject or cause.
How often do you feel great excitement? Do you think enthusiasm is contagious? What do you love doing?
Once again I got a great e-mail from Steve Straus who sends out S T E V E ‘ S….3 – M I NU T E….C O A C H I N G. He wrote, “Remember the last time you felt really enthusiastic.
You probably had energy, were motivated, and felt focused. In short, you were having a good time.”
“Now remember a time when you were physically a little under the weather, mentally adrift, and perhaps emotionally upset. You probably weren’t too enthusiastic, either.”
“The presence or absence of enthusiasm is palpable, noticeable not only by you but also by others. Enthusiasm is an energy, a life force. When you have and project it, it is an organizing resource. Enthusiasm attracts. While it’s probably not accurate to say that the lack of enthusiasm repels, it sure isn’t attractive. At best it’s neutral.”
“Enthusiasm can’t be faked. Sure, people try — you’ve probably experienced a speaker who got all pumped up and delivered an enthusiastic-appearing program, but at some inner level you knew it was an act. A mask of enthusiasm is not enthusiasm”.
“Enthusiasm is not something you do. It is something you are. Enthusiasm radiates from love — loving what you’re doing, loving where you’re headed, loving who you’re with. Enthusiasm is a by-product, not an action.”
“Coaching Point: If you’re not enthusiastic on a regular basis….why not? What’s missing?”
This week focus on your level of enthusiasm. What do you love doing? Where are you headed? Who do you have in your life that shares your enthusiasm?
If you want to subscribe go to www.StrausUSA.com/subscribe.htm then enter your email address.
Reader Responses
“Great one, of great one. I am so enthusiastic about our 40 trip with the kids this weekend I just can’t sit still! I’m doing my Bunco invite right now. See you then, sweetie. Thanks.” – Elaine
“Someone needs to rent the Ringling Brothers Circus Tent; throw Ringling out and make you the week’s evangelist!!!” – pc
“Thank you Susan for proving the link to Steve Straus – I enjoy him as much as I enjoy you. Today, I feel no enthusiasm for work or for this day, however I received this email regarding Enthusiam, it has been encouraging and that little light for me to reshift today to make it better. Your doing a Good Thing Susan – Wow!” – Brenda
“I just wanted to let you know that I have been receiving your e Newsletter, probably since its inception. All great marketing efforts should be, to the greatest extent possible, FARP (Frequent, Anticipated, Relevant, and Personal). Great work. We sat together on a delayed Denver to San Diego flight about 10 years ago (First Class).” – Saul