Word-Of-the-Week #639: Permissive
November 3, 2016 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #639: Permissive
Permissive – tolerant or lenient.
Do you think you are stricter or more permissive? Do you ever feel like you tolerate people more than you want? Are you consistent when it comes to reprimanding your children, grand-children or staff members?
This week I’m following up with the other two other key points from Jennifer Davies article in the San Diego Union taken from Jean Twenge’s book “Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement.”
- Keep control.
Today too many parents are too permissive and give kids too much power. Parents need to say no and mean it. Do not give your children veto power over things like bedtime or other required activities. “You have to realize you are not going to make them happy every moment of the day,” Twenge says.
- Teach empathy.
Too many parents teach kids that they need to look out for No. 1 and that their needs should come first because that’s the way to succeed. Not only does it create narcissistic thinking, but it also sabotages the child in the long run. If a child becomes the kind of person who thinks that no one else’s needs or opinions matter, she will have a hard time maintaining lasting relationships at home and at work. “You should care what other people think of you. If other people think you’re a jerk, that matters,” Twenge says.
And this from the 2016 NPR interview with Twenge, “Me, Me, Me: The Rise Of Narcissism In The Age Of The Selfie.”
“Kanyes, Kims, and Donalds—oh my! Narcissism is all around us, and research shows it’s on the rise. Millennials are more likely than their parents to claim they’re above average in just about every way, from their leadership skills to their academic achievements to their drive to succeed. And while more millennials are getting straight A’s and making plans for graduate school than previous generations, there’s no evidence that they’re actually any more productive or educated than their elders.”
This week focus on your how you’re parenting your children, grand-children and employees (remember, they are your kids too.) Are you too lenient at times? Do you give them too much power and control? Can you understand why some of your entry level staff appears to be spoiled and self-absorbed? Do you talk about the importance of other people and their needs? Again, are you setting a good example?
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