WOW Word-Of-the-Week #518: Self-Management

July 10, 2014 by · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #518: Self-Management 

Self-Management being able to manage our emotions.


Do you feel a need to control your anger? How often do you feel sad or “blue”? Do you remember the last time you worried about something? Do you remember how long you were affected by it?

This is the follow up to last week’s WOW on self-awareness. In Daniel Goleman’s book on Emotional Intelligence he says, “Downs as well as ups spice up life, but need to be in balance.” So how do you bounce back and stay in balance?

  • Cooling Down. Distraction is a highly powerful mood-altering device for a simple reason: It’s hard to stay angry when we’ra self manage having a pleasant time. The trick, of course, is to get anger to cool to the point where someone can have a pleasant time in the first place.
  • Soothing Anxiety. Worry is the heart of all anxiety. It is, in a sense, a rehearsal of what might go wrong and how to deal with it; the task of worrying is to come up with positive solutions for life’s perils by anticipating dangers before they arise. The difficulty is with chronic, repetitive worries, the kind that recycle on and on and never get any nearer a positive solution. A close analysis of chronic worry suggests that it has all the attributes of a low-grade emotional hijacking! The first step is self-awareness, catching the worrisome episodes as near their beginning as possible and learning to identify situations that trigger worry.
  • Managing Melancholy: The single mood people generally put most effort into shaking is sadness or trying to escape the blues. Melancholy, like every other mood, has its benefits. Both aerobic exercise and relaxation have been found to make people feel better. Cheering oneself up through treats and sensual pleasures is a fairly popular antidote to the blues. Common ways people soothed themselves when depressed ranged from taking hot baths or eating favorite foods, to listening to music or having sex. Buying oneself a gift or treat to get out of a bad mood was particularly popular among women, as was shopping in general, even if only window-shopping.

This week’s focus is on self-management. How often do you feel angry? Do you worry about the same things over and over? How often do you “treat” yourself to something special? How does that make you feel?

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WOW Word-Of-the-Week #517: Self-Awareness

July 2, 2014 by · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #517: Self-Awareness 

Self-Awareness being aware of both our mood and our thoughts about that mood.

How often do you find yourself in a bad mood? How long does it take you to change your mood? Do you ever feel overwhelmed and emotionally out of control? Do you tend to be accepting of your moods and therefore don’t try to change them?

Last week’s WOW was on Emotional Intelligence and I got a lot of positive feedback so I am going to share the key factors of EI – aka EQ – in the next several WOW’s. The simplest definition for EI is – an awareness of one’s own emotions and moods and those of others.

a self awareIn Daniel Goleman’s book he quotes John Mayer, a University of New Hampshire psychologist who says, “People tend to fall into distinctive styles for attending to and dealing with their emotions:

  • Self-aware. Aware of their moods as they are having them, these people understandably have some sophistication about their emotional lives. Their clarity about emotions may undergird other personality traits: they are autonomous and sure of their own boundaries, are in good psychological health, and tend to have a positive outlook on life. When they get into a bad mood, they don’t ruminate and obsess about it, and are able to get out of it sooner. In short, their mindfulness helps them manage their emotions.
  • Engulfed. These are people who often feel swamped by their emotions and helpless to escape them, as though their moods have taken charge. They are mercurial and not very aware of their feelings, so that they are lost in them rather than having some perspective. As a result, they do little to try to escape bad moods, feeling they have no control over their emotional life. They often feel overwhelmed and emotionally out of control.
  • Accepting. While these people are often clear about what they are feeling, they also tend to be accepting of their moods, and so don’t try to change them. There seem to be two branches of the accepting type: those who are usually in good moods and so have little motivation to change them and people who, despite their clarity about their moods, are susceptible to bad ones but accept them with a laissez-faire attitude, doing nothing to change them despite their distress – a pattern found among, say, depressed people who are resigned to their despair.

On thing that I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older when it comes to managing my emotions is – Either you control them or they control you! And moods are very contagious!

This week’s focus is on self-awareness. Would you say that you have a positive outlook on life? Are you able to manage your emotions fairly easily? Do you ever feel swamped by your emotions and helpless to escape them? Have you ever thought of having a “time out” for your bad mood and then letting it go?

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WOW Word-Of-the-Week #516: EI

June 26, 2014 by · Comments Off on WOW Word-Of-the-Week #516: EI 

EI – emotional intelligence; aka EQ.

Did you know that it’s you EQ not your IQ that counts? Did you know that your IQ gets you hired but that your EQ gets you promoted? Would you like to work with a staff of top performers?

In 1995 Daniel Goleman wrote the book titled, Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. I read the book and loved it and created a seminar based on the key factors. Then this week the San Diego UT ran an article on the front page of the business section titled, Emotional Intelligence: companies find that workers with high EQ are most productive.

So here we are almost 20 years later and it’s still big news! Erinn Hutkin writes, “Measuring a person’s emotional intelligence may seem like a “touchy-feely” concept, but it is one that is proving to be a successful method to hire, promote and retain highly productive executives and staff.

Essentially, assessing emotional intelligence (EI), also known as EQ, helps businesses address or identify problems with someone’s behavior when it comes toa EI how they manage emotions and how self-aware they are, particularly in stressful situations.

Christine DiDonato, founder of career Revolution Inc., a group that helps companies turn young professionals into leaders, said when top performers have been studied, up to 90 percent of them test high for EI. Since there is a high correlation with EI and performance, if a company can further develop EI throughout their workforce, they should expect lifts in productivity, not to mention a much more self-aware culture.

She goes on to say “Most organizations lack the resources to provide the right kind of development for enough of their workforce to make a real difference to their bottom line. If a company needs to address why they have a disengaged workforce, increasing turnover or declining revenues, they should invest in tools and resources that make a difference in how their workforce interacts.”

The last paragraph reads, “We know that happy people are productive people. And productive people add value to their customers, the economy and the world they live in.”

This week’s focus is on Emotional Intelligence. Does your work involve human resources and/or hiring staff? Would you like to reduce your turnover? Would you like to have a highly productive staff?

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