Word-Of-the-Week #928: Self-worth

May 19, 2022 by  

Self-worth the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect. 

Did you grow up with a controlling parent who knew what was best for you? Have you ever worked for a controlling boss?

This week features long time subscriber and friend Joe Moran who had this to say in response to WOW #923 on being transparent.

“It took me a while to say what I wanted in my life.

 A big part of the problem growing up was that I had a very controlling father. While in some ways he had good intentions, he felt that he always knew best for me.  

In my first job out of college I had a boss with the same type of controlling mindset who also felt he knew what was best for me. Since I was still living at home, this combination made it feel like I was living between a rock and a hard place. 

By the time I reached my third job, I was starting to feel much more confident in not only my abilities as an editor, but in my self-esteem. 

There was one incident in particular that summed it up for me.

On a Friday afternoon the page artist showed up for the first time all week. My boss expected me to work on Saturday. I told him that I was going to be out of town that weekend. My boss threw a tantrum and started banging doors. I held my ground. I was certainly not going to come in on a weekend to accommodate someone who was not pulling his weight. After that, I never had a problem with that boss.  

In my next editing position at Pizza and Pasta magazine where we first started to get acquainted, I had been working for a little more than a year for my entry-level salary of $26,000 a year. This was in 1992. Since I was pretty much responsible for everything that went in each issue, with no staff, I felt I should get a raise. 

After one of the office meetings I decided to stay behind in the conference room with the boss to make my case. When I had confidently finished, he gave me a $10,000 a year raise. 

At that time, I felt very confident and my self-esteem was such that I knew my self-worth to the magazine and organization. 

But the key to all of that was removing the controlling interest from my professional life: my father. Once dear old dad realized that he could not control my professional destiny, he finally let me live my life without interference. It took awhile, but it finally hit home that I had to live the life I had chosen.” 

This week’s focus is on your self-worth. Do you feel confident about your abilities to do your job? How much responsibility do you have at work? Would you feel comfortable asking for a raise that you know you deserve?

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