Word-Of-the-Week #826: Paraprosdokian

June 4, 2020 by  

Paraprosdokian – pa-ra-prose-DOKEee-en. – figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. 

Have you ever seen or heard this word before? Did you know that Winston Churchill loved them?  Do you know they are extremely popular among comedians and satirists?  It was such an odd word that I added the pronunciation for the first time ever.

Last week was the official start of summer and I wanted to keep it light and FUN this week!  And too much negative news is just not good. Special thanks to my long-time friend and client Les (we go back to the 80’s, how scary is that?) for sending this list of paraprosdokians to me back in 2009.

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

And this could just be my favorite: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

This week’s focus is about finding a paraprosdokian you can remember and sharing it! I LOVE a good laugh and hope you got one too. And have a FUN summer!

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