Word-Of-the-Week #672: Tolerate
June 22, 2017 by Susan Clarke
Tolerate – put up with something or somebody unpleasant.
How often do you find yourself putting up with something or somebody being unpleasant? How do you deal with it? Do you retreat or address the situation or person?
This week’s WOW comes from long time subscriber Kim regarding a past WOW on Respect. She wrote, “This week’s word really hit home. I work in a small office and there is a young lady that pretty much offends everyone because she is disrespectful.
She is pleasant enough most of the time, but she is condescending and if anything is wrong, it is never any fault of her own. People have to work out a way to avoid dealing with her, instead of just doing their work and engaging in a normal way.
It IS exhausting, and frustrating that everyone feels like they have to give in to her because she has no shame, and they want to avoid a confrontation. She even jokes sometimes at how much of a bitch she is, which isn’t funny to anyone.
When confronted though, just like a school yard bully, she backs down, but the energy to do that is taxing. The easiest way I have found is to address it as it comes. I have worked with her for 6 years, and within the first few months of her employment, I told her that I wasn’t going to engage in immature spats of “WHATever” and “FINE, we’ll do it YOUR way” and other such nonsensical responses.
I couldn’t stand the eye rolling, and her not making eye contact when having a conversation, so I asked my employer to remove me from joint projects with her. He wasn’t happy, but as we have downsized and he finds himself having to do more and more projects with her, he calls me and complains about her attitude and disrespect.
It is a real shame as she is intelligent, but people smile and tolerate her, mostly now out of pity, because she is 31 years old now, and there really isn’t anything endearing about her.
She is a hard worker and very thorough, too bad it isn’t nice to work with her because she doesn’t have: Respect – to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly.”
All I can say is the older I get the less and less I tolerate. Life is just too short! This week’s focus is on finding a way to deal with somebody unpleasant so they don’t make your life unpleasant. Are you able to distance yourself from and ignore disrespectful people? Have you ever tried to “kill someone with kindness?” The “Shock Factor” works wonders and one I have used a lot. And lastly it is easier to change your behavior than to try and change someone else’s behavior!
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